Thoughts on just being a guy

[sebbie]

Part LIV

One of the most interesting parts about male sexuality is how guys end up learning about all the fine details of what is before them. I know that for some of my readers, sexual thoughts almost immediately turn to thoughts about finding a partner that a guy is close enough to in order to enjoy sex together, but as any guy (or female for that matter) can tell you, the world of sexual partners can not only be extremely complicated but often times overwhelming to the point of being disgusting to try and deal with all of the complex nuances. In short,. A sexual relationship with a partner can be a lot of fun under the best of circumstances, but those circumstances occur less frequently than most guys would like to admit.

Still, I have to say that I am happy for guys who have somehow found a path to navigate all of this. I wish them all the best in that regard. What they have managed to do is no small accomplishment and usually requires great effort. Guys don’t somehow just “fall” into a rewarding sexual relationship with a partner. Indeed, for most guys, this requires work, hard work!

Then there are the rest of us. Those of us who perhaps consider ourselves less lucky. Maybe some of us even believe that the other guys are able to navigate a sexual partnership because they are smarter or better equipped to do so. That is an interesting thought. I need to think about that for a moment. Perhaps a lot of what we think might be happening for the other guys is delusional. Any relationship, straight or gay, has its rocky moments. Two different people by definition are not going to be wired the same sexually. At some level we all understand that. And maybe what we think is happening to our “lucky” friends at some level is delusional, well; at least some of it, anyway.

I like to think that most of what I know about male sexuality I had picked up by the time I was in the 6th grade. Heck, maybe it was earlier than that. I know it was a long time ago. My friends all seemed to be bouncing around in the early stages of what a close relationship with another person might turn out to be from a sexual perspective. All of this was at some level quite amusing.

This same plot of sorts has been played out in a myriad of coming-of-age movies. Guys discovering girls. Antics similar to the story line of “Summer of ’42.” What it would be like to “be” with an older woman even if for only once.

My path didn’t seem to follow that story line at all. In the 6th grade, I was masturbating a lot. I presume my male classmates were doing the same thing, but I thought that was far too private a subject to ever discuss openly. How a guy gets off alone or with a partner is a really private subject for most guys, despite all the movies. I guess some guys that age are fantasizing about being with women as they masturbate, as in, follows the same path as the coming-of-age movies did.

All of this means that solo sex, aka masturbation, remains a very taboo topic for a lot of guys, guys who are far more at ease talking about a sexual encounter with a partner than one that happened alone.

This is like the discovery of parallel worlds in physics. There is this world of partner sex that everyone knows about and accepts a world that a guy can hardly avoid not seeing. But then there is this other, hidden, parallel world that from the standpoint of sexual enjoyment is in much the same place and in many ways sexually at least as enjoyable but almost completely hidden. Some guys get off by thinking about having sex with a female (or male) partner and this is considered quite “normal” thank you. But for other guys this is all unnecessary. Interesting stuff, but in many ways scary at some level as well. In part one needs to understand that not all guys are wired the same with respect to a need to psychologically involve a sexual partner even when jerking off alone.

Like I say, I had figured out most of what I am telling you today by the time I had reached the 6th grade, but I was unable to write it down. Actually, had I written it down it probably would have been seen by others as strange, weird, embarrassing or even outlandish.

So, it is important to recognize that guys have two paths when they get off alone. The conventional path involves the psychology of imagining and thus rationalizing you are with a partner even though you are alone. Guys rationalize masturbating that way as being just the logical extension of what would be still better as an orgasm happening within partner sex.

But there is also this other hidden path. Guys discovering that they can easily get aroused and hard without even thinking about being with a sexual partner. The “penis operating on its own” mode where the penis just “decides” it’s time to get hard and”tells” a guy’s brain about what is going on in the groin area. Then guys quickly discover that it is possible to get a penis erect not by thinking about having “real” sex with a partner, but merely because a guy somehow got stimulated by something happening in the groin area.


And, not long after a guy “discovers” that the “right” (or wrong if you want to think about it that way) garment can prove “helpful” in turning this all on and off. To illustrate, guys discover that masturbating in the nude is fun, but it is even more fun to masturbate while wearing a snug,-fitting smooth-textured garment like a little swim brief. Shortly after guys discover this they start “collecting” clothing items that might prove useful in this regard. There are a lot of these, of course, and the manufacturers know that there is a demand for these items that is coming from this parallel world that guys do not even like to admit exists. For a guy learning the finer points of solo sex, it doesn’t take long to identify some items that might prove “helpful” in this regard, but admitting this to anyone else opens a door into a parallel world that a lot of guys think is somehow embarrassing, unnatural and somehow should remain closed to outsiders. The problem is that this parallel world can indeed be a lot of fun, but particularly so for guys who do not have a readily available sexual partner.

There is more to this story—much more!

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LV

So there are really two paths for guys emerging from puberty, the first being what I call the path of awareness of the possibilities for having sex with a partner and all that entails. A male post puberty is bombarded with stuff related to this. The content nowadays is all but impossible to avoid seeing. Movies, the Internet, you name it. Almost every place a guy looks there is stuff that is linked to the basic idea of sex with a partner. Even a simple Internet search involving only a few words will take you to Internet sites that are explicitly sexual.

When I was growing up in a rural area in the 1950s, I admit that things were a lot different. There was no Internet let alone an Internet containing readily available explicit sexual content. Movies with explicit sexual themes or even coming-of-age dramas were uncommon. In the 60s, a movie like “The Graduate” was generally considered quite explicit. And by the 1970s it was a coming-of-age movie like “Summer of ‘42”.

So, lacking sources of visual information such as these, guys back then were pretty much left on their own to figure out exactly what partner sex was all about and exactly how body parts could be made to fit together. Just getting the basics proved difficult. There were libraries with encyclopedias that contained textbook-like information on male and female body part, but even these sources were rather limited. And there was little information dealing with the psychology that is involved when two people embark on a sexual relationship, “The Graduate” and “Summer of ’42” notwithstanding.

Still, guys (girls too) were built the same way with the same innate sexual wiring as they have today. There haven’t somehow been core biological changes in how human beings are built in the last 75 years. And human beings have always been blessed with some of the most sensitive and interesting nerve endings in the groin area. And growing up to be an adult, both then and now, means tapping into these and learning more fully how this stuff works both from a physical and a psychological perspective.

So, where does this all lead, anyway? One obvious conclusion is that guys don’t suddenly discover on the day that they have their first post-pubescent wet dream that they can immediately move into a relationship with a willing sexual partner. That is probably a long ways off still. Growing into young adulthood rather frequently occurs in a series of steps. At first a guy does not want to admit that he ejaculated at all during the night. Then somehow a guy starts to think that this must be OK because his body just did this “on its own”, erotic dream of some sort or not, despite those interesting starchy stains on his pajama bottoms in the morning (which, ideally, no one should draw attention to).

By this time the guy is probably thinking to himself that while only a few months ago a wet dreams was both unwelcome and messy, at some level it was also enjoyable in what seems to be an entirely new and fascinating way. Next, the guy starts to think that this could be even more interesting if instead of waking up AFTER ejaculation had already occurred why not see if it is possibly to wake up a minute or two prior to when ejaculation takes place. Who would know or care whether you were awake or asleep when this happens?

Once a guy gets that part of being a guy figured out and working, that same guy is only a short way away from identifying ways in which he can touch or play with himself at night in an effort to get his penis to grow, get hard, and then ejaculate while still lying in bed. Guys can try a lot of stuff at night under the covers and explore more heavily particularly the stuff that seems to work the best. Hopefully he won’t make too much noise or draw attention to himself when running the various experiments, and all of this requires a certain degree of privacy as in being alone.

Still, what I am observing here is a key element that every guy goes through growing up. Guys at this stage are somewhere in a place that is at once terrifying but at the same time truly marvelous. A world occupied also by male peers who are somehow also living in the same place containing a mixture of both terror and profound marvel at the wonderful sensations down there that can be easily coaxed out from a guy’s body once the experiments have been run.

At this point, the idea of somehow joining together with a sexual partner is still not an issue, except perhaps as a part of a disconnected fantasy going on as a guy dreams and masturbates. Mainly, a guy is still interested in finding ever more interesting methods of playing with his own body and doing solo sex.

And by this time, nearly every guy has discovered that a clothing item that fits snug in the groin can be helpful in aiding the process. And that erections and ejaculations can easily occur in situations where a sexual partner doesn’t exist. But, a guy at that age cannot simply go out and start purchasing items of clothing with the intent of using the items in order to masturbate. A guy has to be sneakier than that. Far sneakier.

Maybe what is needed are still items of clothing that appear to be just “normal” stuff for a guy to wear but can secretly be used when masturbating. Take, for example a package of tighty whiteys as a simple illustration. At night, slip on a pair of tighty whiteys UNDER the pajama bottoms. This strategy means fewer starchy stains on the pajama legs as the briefs will catch most of the semen, and the “soiled” briefs can just be tossed in with the rest of the laundry.

OK! OK! Now I am giving out ideas that I would have tried in order to surreptitiously masturbate myself as a 12- or 13-year old, looking back.

To be continued….

[sebbie]

Part LVI

So, guys begin their journeys into young adulthood facing a lot of complicated stuff. They are being bombarded with content from the media that communicates that adult-type male sexuality is almost exclusively about getting to the point in a relationship such that a guy can have sex with a partner. Yet, growing up, meeting someone, and somehow getting close enough to that person such that having a sexual relationship with the other human being is a long ways off, if possible at all.

I would suggest very strongly that many guys muddle through their adult lives without ever really fully resolving this puzzle. Some guys seem to have an easier time of it—these are the guys who for whatever reason have a lot of what I call “personal charm.” Some might say that personal charm is just another way of saying “sex appeal” or even being “good looking”. But sexual attraction between two people is far too complicated a part of being human to be able to conclude that this is all about the genetics of physical attractiveness. Part of this has to do with the physical, for both sexes (many women like to claim that in males the physical hardly matters at all, but of course that is not true either).

Real estate agents like to claim that “there is a buyer for every house!” Using that analogy one would also conclude that there is a sexual partner out there for every human being, no matter how much or how little personal charm or physical attractiveness a person has. But, of course, neither statement is entirely true.

If this were all simple, every guy would be happily married to a woman (no gay married men in perfect land for sure!) and each guy would be living with his wife and two kids in a 3-bedroom house with an 80 foot wide lot in the suburbs of some cookie cutter city, each place all but indistinguishable from all the others. He is happily living there with his stay-at-home wife and the almost obligatory 2.4 kids. This is an imaginary 1950s world where the big problems have all been solved and when the guy has sex and gets to ejaculate, it is always penis-vagina sex with his wife perhaps once each week.

The problem with all of this is it is not the real world, and if we were to admit it, this probably wasn’t the real world even back in the 1950s. All sorts of other stuff is going on, stuff that has always been (some might say, conveniently) hidden from view.

I love watching cable shows that deal with the science of space and time. These shows keep talking about an intriguing idea that says the universe is composed of stuff that we can easily see, because it emits light. But there is other stuff in the universe that we cannot see, because it emits no light, and worse, it seems to be able to pass right through the stuff we can see without in any way revealing itself. Weirdly, there may be more of this “dark matter” that we cannot see than the stuff we can see.

What does this idea have to do with the science of male sexuality? Well, for starters, any male post-puberty is likely going to be jacking off quite regularly, sexual partner or not. The urge to ejaculate in males is so powerful that it cannot be ignored. And, as a consequence, every guy is going to have to develop his own particular way of dealing with where he is in this respect.

For guys, the stuff you see in the movies and on line is largely focused on techniques for engaging a sexual partner. This is OK if you conveniently have a sexual partner. Remember the guy living in the 3-bedroom house in the suburbs with the wife and kids. The guy in the suburban home with his wife and kids is analogous to the stuff in the universe that we can all readily see.

But then there is this other place, the so-called “dark matter” of male sexuality that every guy needs to learn how to cope with and even enjoy. This entire subject remains a mystery for a lot of women in particular, because they were taught by their moms (who, in turn were taught by their moms) that for straight guys at least the female is the centerpiece of a guy’s sexual focus and pleasure. The mere thought of a guy enjoying his own body alone does not compute, except I guess in the context of believing that this is something only guys who lack access to a sexual partner might do as an inferior means of getting off when a guy is desperate for sex.

So, we have several things going on here. 1. Guys masturbate, alone, regularly, to the point that the average might be 50 solo-sex ejaculations for every single act of partner sex, but 2. Most guys try to keep this behavior deeply hidden from anyone else whether that someone else is a parent, sibling, peer classmate, a dorm roommate or the female you had the date with on Friday night—or even your wife or live-in girlfriend. In our society real intercourse is so valued that a guy dare not admit to doing anything else in order to arouse oneself and ejaculate. Growing up, a guy increasingly values a degree of privacy just for this purpose. Going to college with a male roommate makes the quest for privacy even more important. A logical question is “how is my male roommate going to navigate this?” but a guy almost never dares actually blurt out that question, for fear that a host of even more complicated questions could logically arise from that one.

Too, as a guy gets only a little older, the objective shifts from seeing how fast you can make it from flaccid penis to full scale hard-on to powerful ejaculation to an alternative mode in which the guy takes more time to get there while still remaining quite aroused. Every guy knows that the complete inability to delay orgasm via mind control only occurs rather late in the process, and learning how to delay orgasm while remaining for an extended period of time in a highly aroused state can be extraordinarily enjoyable to learn and do. This can be fun stuff!

What does all of this have to do with swim briefs, compression gear, tighty whiteys, jock straps etc? I’m sure you have all been wondering about that. Each of these items a guy might find useful if he is interested in maintaining himself for extended periods of time in a semi-aroused state. A snug-fitting garment of your choice may have a “nasty” but fascinating way of keeping a guy semi-focused on his own groin area and sexual organs and in the process create some fun and interesting sensations that are more than worth experiencing.

But since this all has nothing to do with sex with a partner, and further, admitting that a guy does this could suggest that you lack enough personal charm to even be able to find a sexual partner, you dare not admit to anyone what you are doing in your efforts. That means nothing can be revealed to your parents, siblings, peer classmates, or certainly not the girl you (sorta) like in school. And, most certainly, NOT to your college dorm roommate. Except, of course, last night your roommate may have observed that you pulled out a colored brief from your dresser drawer and got into what looked to him like a little swim brief and then pulled on a pair of long-legged sleeping pants just before you crawled into bed. Your roommate might have observed this but said nothing. You sleep well, while occasionally touching your body snug inside the swim brief “down there”. You suspect your roommate might be wondering why you dressed the way you did just to go to bed. You think to yourself that if you pull on a strap before putting on your sleeping pants he might find this even weirder.

Oh well. The next day you wake up refreshed and ready to tackle whatever the world throws at you! Early that morning the swim brief gets tossed in the laundry bag but the sleeping pants somehow are still clean. It is important to act nonchalant as if nothing at all has happened.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LVII

As many of my readers know, I am interested in all aspects of being a guy and all aspects of male sexuality. But if I have any particular interest, it is in helping guys of any age who for whatever reason, find themselves alone as in without a sexual partner. This situation might be by choice or in coping with what once was or a partner situation but now is not. I’ve observed that a lot of guys who live as singles without a sexual partner behave as if they are truly miserable, as if somehow their own bodies are no longer fun to be in. To me, that some guys even think this way is sad. I am here to tell you that being alone is not the end of the world from the standpoint of sexual enjoyment. In fact the situation you are in can be a lot of fun. So, here is what I experienced, alone, last night.

A few of you might have read my “Spending the night in a cup” paper that is still on the Internet. In it, I explain in detail a solo-sex experience I had that I thought was really quite profoundly wonderful in a host of different ways. But, I somehow hadn’t “messed” with the techniques in exactly the way I described in that paper in several years. And I got to thinking to myself maybe what I did there maybe was not that great an experience any more.

So, I think back as to the methods I employed way back, and checked to see if I still had the necessary bits and pieces of equipment close to what I used back then. Turns out, I did even though the exact items may be more difficult to find today. More about this later.,

To fully understand what I have been doing, you need to learn a bit about male sexual biology if you have not learned about this already. Every male has a special spot called the perineum, which is a place on the male body that is directly behind the scrotum between your scrotum and anus. This is sometimes referred to as the male “G” spot, as it is a place that a bunch of sensitive nerve endings terminate—nerve endings that are interconnected with “feeling horny”. Not only that, the perineum is located directly beneath the male prostate, so if a guy puts pressure on the spot, he indirectly stimulates the prostate gland, which also feels really good. It is if there is a hard wire running directly from the perineum to the sexual pleasure center in your brain. This might be a spot a lot of guys, single or in a relationship, may not know even exists.

In the US, thong underwear for men really only showed up in stores as a serious option in the late 1980s, and, oddly enough, few chain retailers carry it any more. But it is still readily available on line. Thongs—actually merely getting into a thong, is an interesting process that has a not-to-be-missed sexual awareness component to it.

Any thong has a pouch designed to contain your penis and balls attached to a cord. Generally, the pouch made of a stretchy cloth is just big enough to contain a guy’s balls and his flaccid penis. And at the base of the pouch there is likely a sewn connector that connects the pouch to a cord or perhaps narrow band of elastic running to the rear of the waistband. The cord or elastic band is meant to run in the butt crack between the glutes. This means that the cord will be brushing against the anal area as well, which is also a more sexually-active body part than many guys fully appreciate.

The really fun part, of course, is to give the elastic cord a firm tug, cinching it tightly between the glutes. This does two things. The cord gets drawn past the anal area, which can be sexy fun. But the more important part is that the snugger the cord fits the more upward pressure there will be on the perineum—the area on a guys body that is really sexually active.

Meanwhile the penis and balls are contained in the snug pouch. Merely getting into the right (perhaps some would say “wrong”) thong probably will give a guy at least a bit of a hard-on. The thong is pushing all the best male body parts upward and forward. But even more interestingly, even a slight erection invariably puts still more upward pressure on the perineum. Tugging on the cord at the rear magnifies the sensations.

Why some guys like to wear thong underwear is that they have figured out what I have just told you. Why some guys refuse to wear thong underwear is that they realize they could easily get themselves into a situation where things start to happen that they cannot consciously control, and what could happen could easily lead to an embarrassing situation (if seeing a peer in a locker room wearing a thong is not already embarrassing enough).

So guys who have figured out more or less what happens end up with something of a “love-hate” relationship with male thong underwear. They love the sensations but worry that what they are doing to themselves might lead to a situation they would rather not have to face.

That is why if you want to mess around it is handy to be living alone and not be dealing with a sexual partner at the same time.

What to do? Find a nice thong and make plans to wear it at bedtime, though an entire night, and see how your body copes with the interesting things that are happening. In colder weather, one could wear a favorite thong under a pair of loose-fitting sleep pants. The idea is to keep feeling horny all night long but not to jerk off.

Of course, there is more to this. I have found a favorite old thong, one made by Jockey many years ago. It looks innocent enough, just white cotton with a simple pouch and a narrow band of elastic made to fit snugly between the glutes. But this simple thong I already know packs a wallop of fun sensations. Somehow it really makes my perineum feel good. It pushes my penis and balls up and forward into an interesting place. And every time I give the cord a little tug it feels oh so good as my anal area is brushed and the perineum gets punched just a bit more one more time. Sensation overload!

So the idea is to crawl into this thong and spend the night sleeping in it feeling horny but not jerking off, I want to keep control of my body for as much of the night as possible without going into involuntary contractions of an orgasm if I can while all of this is going on. But there is more to this. A lot more. A still bigger challenge awaits.

To be continued….
 

[sebbie]

Part LVIII

As many of my readers also know, I am a big fan of athletic supporters aka jock straps, both those with a cup and those without. I’ve long thought that old school jock straps were interesting garments both for what they cover and what they don’t cover, and I have long admired the athletes who participated in a sport where they got a chance and a reason to wear one.

Traditional, old school straps with cups were very simple. Always made of a rough textured and very elastic fabric they were designed to support a guy’s male body parts to minimize the possibility of injury to the male penis and balls;. The three inch wide elastic waistband somehow also feels great. Straps without a cup are made to simply hold a guys penis and balls and provide support out of harms way in athletic competition. Hard cups are designed to take a forward hit, from say a baseball, without doing any injury to a guy’s important male body parts.

Old-school cups were designed with only limited space for a guy’s penis. Just enough to contain an average guy’s flaccid penis, but leaving no space for a guy to grow a bit, even if inadvertently. To me, that was the really interesting part, that is, every guy needed to somehow fit himself into a cup that seemed, well, less than generously-sized. A lot of guys struggled with this sense of containment these old school cups and straps offered. Thinking about what was going on down there, that the hard walls of the cup were touching a guy’s penis, led to, well, problems. The more a guy thought about where his penis was, chances are the harder he got. This made matters worse not better and the guy didn’t really have any real control over what his body was doing to him. Penises do as penises do! Every guy at some level realizes exactly that.

So what happened is that manufacturers started to build straps with bigger, roomier cups, still designed to protect from a flying missile, but allowing the penis enough room to flop around in a little more space without it seeming that the cup walls were closing in on the guy. This works, sort of. The small cups could be worn and were all but invisible once the outer garments for the sport were in place. But with one of the bigger, banana® style cups were in place in a sport like football, where the football pants are snug-fitting as well, it is more than obvious to everyone that the guy is wearing a big cup (or that he is hugely endowed, which might be part of the fun as well). I see lots of photos of fully-dressed college football players who either have wonderful male endowments or are wearing a huge cup, or maybe both.

Still, I find the straps with the old-style flat cups with limited space the most fun to mess around with. Think about my situation. I am wearing my favorite thong underwear that is doing neat things to my perineum and to my butt crack. I am enjoying having my penis and balls inside the less-than-roomy thong pouch with everything being pressed front and forward. Some really neat sensations are going on—sensations I am already truly enjoying.

Keep in mind that I am getting ready for bed and to run a bedtime experiment of sorts with my own body. A solo-sex experience at its most enjoyable. What to do? Why put on an old school strap with one of those undersized flat cups OVER the top of the thong, of course. This is a fascinating predicament to put my ‘nads in because the thong is pushing my ‘nads front and forward while the strap with the cup is pressing firmly downward. Of course the leg straps holding the pouch of the strap in place come together at the perineum that is already being hit with pressure from the thong. A nearly overpowering double whammy, of sorts.

The strap is bearing down on sensitive body parts even as the tong is pressing my penis into the hard cup. Two forces, both sexually changed and both endlessly fascinating to experience.

If a guy were doing this in the daytime, he would perhaps be readily distracted from the sensations going on down there. But this is nighttime and I know that once I crawl into bed my mind will be drawn to fascinating sensations in my groin area like an insect to a light

To be continued…
 

[sebbie]

Part LIX

At this point I am about to crawl into bed wearing my thong and cupped strap. My goal, of course, is not to see how rapidly I can get aroused to the point of not being able to delay an orgasm, but instead see whether I can make it through an entire night while still wearing these items and somehow still coping with the sensations that I know are bound to occur.

One interesting part about male sexuality is that the urge to ejaculate can normally be circumvented until very late in the arousal sequence. I can feel horny as all get out and continue in that mode for long periods of time should I choose to do so. Many guys I don’t think have experimented enough to fully realize this.

So here I am, wearing a favorite thong covered with an equally-favorite undersized strap and cup. I could make this even more difficult by pulling a pair of compression shorts over, which would make the cup all but immovable. But this time I just slip a loose fitting pair of black pile sleeping pants over. The weather has turned cold and nasty, but I should be warm and happy clad in my thong, cupped strap and pile sleeping pants. But can I make it through the entire night feeling way horny this way without getting overwhelmed by the urge to ejaculate? This is the ultimate test.

I crawl into bed last night wearing exactly the items I described. A fascinating part of this is that if I tried the same experiment during the day, I would probably get distracted enough so that I wouldn’t be paying a lot of attention to sensations coming from my groin. But being in bed, there is nothing to do but think about what is happening to me down there. The problem is that if I get too focused on that I will likely quickly get to the point where I can no longer delay orgasm, but my goal is to see what happens to me over an entire night in the thong, strap and cup without ever getting off. Essentially I am replicating what I used to do on a regular basis for fun.

Once in bed, my mind quickly goes to the cup bearing down on my groin, and the sensations that seem to be coming from the perineum. The firm pressure of the cup is already starting to get to me, at once feeling interesting but also a bit annoying. How did teens actually wear these old style cups for sport anyway?

Still, I like what I am feeling, a lot. The tendency is to try to adjust by moving the cup a bit to find a less challenging position, psychosexually, but as I do this I can’t resist tapping on the cup with my fingers a little. Somehow my penis seems to “like” what I am attempting to do. Just so it doesn’t like what I am doing “too much” and then the experiment would come to an abrupt but very enjoyable end. It’s only about 10:30 pm and I have managed to drift off to sleep neatly confined but without having an orgasm.

Suddenly, I wake up again. I look at the clock. It says 12 midnight. I have slept only one-and-a-half hours. Worse (or maybe better) I realize that the thong, cup and strap are feeling even more erotic (horny) than when I first drifted off. Everything going on down there seems to have ramped up a notch to super-sensitive from merely sensitive. I like what I am feeling very much, but for how long can my body “take this” intensity? I reach down and make some more adjustments to my beloved cup. Every movement of the cup I savor and each slight movement is somehow unique to my body.

Then I discover something still more interesting. If I roll over and try to sleep on my tummy, the weight of my body bears down on my groin area, and the cup gets pressed more firmly into my groin. This feels great. Too great perhaps. I decide I had better not mess with this too much or my experiment of staying really horny but not ejaculating will suddenly come to an abrupt end. I roll back again on my side and somehow quickly drift back to sleep.

I wake up again at 3:30 AM and decide maybe I should go to the bathroom. This will require that I pull down all my gear but what the heck! Another fascinating aspect of this is that if a guy pulls down the stuff that confines him, that provides a temporary “relief” from the groin tension. So getting out of the gear for a few moments may be simple compared to getting everything back in where it belongs.

Somehow, I manage to get out of the gear and then get myself back in. I crawl back in bed, still feeling really horny, still really confined, but I again almost immediately drift back to sleep. I am still feeling really horny but still have not had an orgasm.

I wake up again. The clock reads 6:15 AM. I made it through the night without ejaculating. I pull of my gear. The thong pouch has pre-ejaculate in it. A silver dollar-sized spot of my favorite clear but viscous precum. Truly neat stuff. It’s a way of measuring exactly how much I enjoyed myself during the night. I had a blast. And I did not ejaculate.

It’s time to get up and write this for all of you to read. Doing this is every bit as much fun as I remember from years back. For daytime wear I pull on a pair of tighty whiteys, a really snug-fitting pair of green Tesla® compression pants and cover everything with a pair of Levis 510 skinny jeans. Those items feel good too, but in a different way from the marvelous marathon experience I had with my body last night. Still, I really like that gear as well.

So any guy can try this. This is safe, erotic fun. Any guy can do this alone too. You do not need a sexual partner to thoroughly enjoy your own body this way. On the other hand what exactly would happen if a college dorm mate sleeping in a bed in a small dorm room only a few feet away were attempting to do exactly the same thing over a night?

But then, who says a guy living without a sexual partner can’t have a lot of fun?

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LX

In the past few chapters I have described in detail some of the techniques I use to pleasure myself without having a partner of either sex with me. What I like to do to and with myself might prove helpful to other guys who for whatever reason find themselves in a situation whereby they are living alone and without a partner. It is in this spirit that I am writing this morning. Granted, some of what I describe might prove helpful to guys who do have partners as well in learning about how their own bodies work and respond to stimuli. This is actually an equal opportunity kind of thing.

Solo sex is a subject that is either not discussed or if it is mentioned in public, it is often in a derogatory way. “Oh yah! Surely some guys pleasure themselves, but this is something they do only until they develop the social skills required to find a partner for sex, and then it is easy to see that all guys clearly prefer partner sex and the solo sex part recedes into “things I used to do when I had no partner for sex, but abandoned once I became an adult.”

This attitude and outlook about solo masturbation is not only uninformed, at least for a lot of guys, it is probably also incorrect. A few of the sex researchers have actually tried to find the truth, by asking questions such as “When do you have your best orgasms, alone or with a sexual partner?” Surprisingly, a lot of guys (anonymously of course) will admit that they have more powerful orgasms playing with themselves than when they have sex with a partner.

No guy ever wants to admit that publicly, of course, because the entire idea runs counter to a bunch of different social and cultural norms, starting with all the women out there who are deeply ingrained with the idea that for straight men at least, being with a female is all that matters to a guy, sexually. Straight guys who do not have female partners are miserable in a host of different ways—perhaps emotional basket cases. And every guy is aware that women (ahem) often use sex to manipulate men as a means of getting what the woman wants which is often something unrelated to sex. I could push this idea some more but I will stop on that for now.

So, what I have described to you in the last three chapters is a marathon session of solo sex that I engaged in a couple nights ago that I thought was absolutely extraordinarily fun. Enough fun to write about. What I am trying to say that I went into a 10-hour long psychosexual “high” that lasted the entire night. Doing this I guess is something like a high on drugs but with none of the down side. Granted, I’m not the best witness on that one at all, except to say that I really felt good during this entire 10-hour period.

I tried to provide you with enough detail on exactly what I was doing to my body that made me feel so good as well as the special equipment that I used in the process (like the undersized strap and cup) such that the reader could try some of the same ideas. (If some of this all seems a little weird as in “that would never work for me for sure”, so be it. Don’t knock it until you try it yourself.)

Let us look at some of the facts. I had about 10 hours of fun without actually getting off at the end. I awoke restored and refreshed, and as I changed into my daytime clothing I was still feeling just as horny as I went to bed. I could have gotten off at the end and I thought about doing that, but I was enjoying myself so much by seeing how long I could just stay aroused I decided not to. Some guys may be uneasy about this.

That is not what is supposed to happen, is it? Encounters with sexual partners almost invariably should end with ejaculation, don’t they? And no partner would expect that a guy is going to stay aroused and horny for 10 hours straight, even while drifting in and out of sleep as I did several times during the night. Sexual encounters with a sexual partner need to have a clear beginning and an end, the end being a point where both partners have a really powerful orgasm, ideally almost simultaneously,…or do they?

In reality, what I described for you in detail is the specifics of how a guy can pleasure himself without a sexual partner. In going to bed, I knew I would be wearing a couple items that had given me a lot of pleasure over the years. That specific Jockey® brand thong and the Duke strap with the seemingly “mean” nearly-flat hard cup were both a lot of fun to wear, but almost unbelievably so when my body is hit with the combination of the thong pressing upward on my perineum in combination with the little snug-fitting hard cup bearing down on my penis that was attempting to get erect but did not have the necessary space.

I guess nearly every guy develops a collection of items that he enjoys wearing because they make him feel horny in some way. My collection could be a little bigger than many, but then I have lived my entire life single as well, something most guys do not do. I realize that a lot of guys end up with a collection of swim briefs not because they expect to go swimming wearing one but rather because they like wearing them in private but in particular they love how a guys penis feels pointed upward in a swim brief with the slick fabric relentlessly rubbing against the underside. And a lot of guys like to simply have the privacy needed to regularly do that.

At this point all of this is so enjoyable that even thinking about getting into a relationship with another person that might involves sex brings up thoughts about how I would ever explain all of this to another person and what parts of this if any could be brought into a relationship situation.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LXI
Sometimes my mind wanders back to when I was a very young child. I have been trying to recall when was the first time I ever recall seeing a photo of a guy wearing a swimming brief. I do not recall exactly when this first happened to me, but my best guess is that it was when I was very young, perhaps only about 5 or 6 years old. All I remember is that when I saw that first photo, I was already thinking about how much I wanted to be that guy and be able to wear a swim brief like that.

For me, this would have been way before puberty, and I couldn’t have been more than vaguely aware of the fact that there were some interesting sensations that could happen in the groin area, but that was about it. I had lots to learn, but for me, the fascinating thing was how much I longed to be able to have an excuse to wear a swim brief, even at a very young age.

The problem in my early years was that I lived in a rural area, a long way from a swimming pool, and had essentially no opportunity to interact with boys who hung out at swimming pools. My only exposure to getting in the water involved going to “the lake” which was really the basin of a dammed up river. And the guys there were all wearing swimsuits that were usually plaid boxers. These suits were short, but they were made of woven cloth. They did fit high on the leg, like an athletic short.

There was, however a “secret” to these shorts. Inside they all had what was called a supporter inside. Not a jock strap-style supporter but rather a brief-style supporter made from an open weave fabric with the legs banded in elastic. This was a swim “brief” of sorts, but a something of a “secret” swim brief. Still, as I got a little older the mere thought of being in a brief, hidden or not, was giving me an erection. And because I liked that feeling I started to look for excuses to wear my swimsuit even if I was not going swimming.

As a young kid, on warm days I liked to get into my plaid swimsuit ostensibly to cool off, but practically I quickly got to like having the excuse to wear my suit with the neat-feeling internal support brief. I would spray my body with warm water out of a garden hose that had been laying outdoors. I knew my penis liked to get big once inside the suit. And after my suit was soaked I would pull the suit off and get back into my regular clothes.

Anyway, I did not quite realize this could happen. I looked down there inside the suit, and my penis had somehow grown quite big and hard. My mom was standing right there. Just as I pulled down the suit to get into my other clothes, I started to ejaculate, with my mom standing right there looking at me. My mom must have been somewhat taken aback by this but she remained composed. I expected to be scolded in some manner. I was terrified. I had probably had the occasional wet dream by then, but I think this was the first time that I had ever ejaculated in the daytime. I did not know what to think or expect next.

But mom did not scold me. She seemed to take what had happened all in stride. She did, however offer me some words of advice. “If you don’t want your penis to do that, you need to quit thinking about it so much when you are wearing your swimsuit!” I thought to myself “Easier said than done, mom.” But I said nothing.

My cousins and their parents from the west coast only occasionally drove home for a visit--a distance of nearly 1400 miles. We were all rural kids and lived a rather solitary existence. My cousins, similar in age to me, were growing up in a more urban setting, and had obviously got to do some things we rural kids hadn’t gotten to do. But then, we had some advantages too in that we had grown up around farm animals and thus we knew more of the details of stuff like how animals mated. The city cousins all seemed to wonder if farm animals bite if you try to feed them out of your hand. Of course they don’t and getting an animal to be tame enough so they would come and eat out of your hand was part of the fun, and then seeing the cousins watch in amazement as, say, a chicken would peck grain out of your hand (which was great fun because it tickled a bit).

So one year, (I am trying to think exactly when) my cousins came from the west coast to visit. One of the cousins was a boy about a year older than me, and the other cousin was about a year younger. I think I was about 12, so the older cousin was probably 13 and the younger one, 11. Exactly where I was on the puberty scale I’m uncertain, except to say that stuff was probably well underway. Parents and kids, we were joined by other local cousins and went off to the lake and to simply relax. We all wore our swimsuits under our clothes so we could get into the water. I was no doubt in my plaid trunks with the support liner. So my two urban cousins got out of their clothes and down to the suits they had worn to get into the water.

Lo and behold, both my cousins were both wearing swim briefs. And not sloppy, loose-fitting briefs either, but slick smooth briefs that looked very similar to those you see today. I don’t recall a brand name, but think 3” Speedo. I think both of them had been taking swimming lessons at school, so these were briefs a swim coach would have approved of.

The brief my younger cousin was wearing particularly interested me. It was bright shiny royal blue, and fit his body almost like a second skin. He looked great in it—the look was far better than the sloppy trunks I was wearing for sure.

We spent some time in the water, and then we were out. My cousins stayed in their swim briefs. I probably changed out of my trunks because my woven suit would have been sloppy wet.

My aunt (who was my cousin’s mom) said that my younger cousin did something she thought was a little strange. He liked to keep wearing his swimsuit even when he was in the water. What he was doing of course, was wearing the brief instead of cotton underwear.

My aunt may have wondered about this, but somehow I didn’t think what he was doing was odd at all. I had already figured out that my cousin had decided he liked the fit and feel of the swim brief better than standard underwear (I would have too).

So, my cousins slept in various places on vacation and my younger cousin was scheduled to be staying at my parent’s farm that night. In fact, he would be sleeping in the same double bed as I. Was my cousin going to sleep in the royal blue suit as well? I would be able to find out exactly what his plan was.

Turns out, not. Just before he crawled into bed he pulled of the suit and put on a pair of pajama bottoms and threw the suit onto the bed. It laid there shiny and blue, white piping on each side, still seemingly kinda stiff in pretty much the shape it was when he was wearing it. I would have loved to have tried crawling into it if only for a few minutes, but I was far too shy to ask. Still, that royal blue suit that day and night left an indelible mark on my brain, still vivid today, 50 years later. I have never dared ask my cousin if he remembers any of this. I don’t dare, and I never will.

To be continued….

[sebbie]

Part LXII

Interesting questions to ponder and my responses to each…
Why do guys want to wear swim briefs rather than another style that offers more body coverage?

1 The choice of swimmer-athletes. The design helps guys swim faster in competition. This is the original argument when they were introduced by Speedo® many years ago.

2 Dries quickly and once dry can be worn like underwear under street clothing.

3 Fun to wear. Many guys love to wear a swim brief and study their own bodies in detail. The smooth slick fabric against the penis is erotic fun. A lot of guys get turned on by seeing how their body looks under tension from being inside the brief, particularly watching as a penis expands and gets harder inside the limited space available. Thus, many guys like to use the swim brief as a masturbation aid while watching themselves in a mirror, and in this regard the snugger the brief fits the better.

4 Guys who admire fit swimmer-athletes sometimes want to look the part as well, similar to owning a jersey of a basketball star.

5 Lots of neat fun to get into a brand new swim brief not quite knowing how it is going to fit and how it will tug and pull your body.

Why are guys often apprehensive about wearing a swim brief in public?

1 The coverage is so minimal guys worry that they will be noticed teased an maybe even bullied if seen in public with an obvious penis even if it is totally covered by the brief

2 “That is not what the other guys my age are wearing” There is a male “herding” instinct going on here as to what clothing is OK versus not OK. What the other guys are doing is fine, but if I am the only one wearing a brief that is not good.

3 A lot of guys are apprehensive about the possibility of mild arousal leading to a full-scale hard-on in public and an inability to control one’s urges. The possibility of this happening is both terrifying but terrific fun and that both are going on at the same time makes a lot of guys, well, scared.

4 What happens if in public place I start to feel just like I did standing in front of a mirror and looking at my body clad in the brief when I was alone in private and what do I do if that does happen?

5 Swim briefs tend to be associated with gay guys. And a lot of people seem to think that if they see a guy in a swim brief, this is approximately the same as a “gay” guy advertising himself to other gay males. For better or worse, swim briefs are associated with gay guys.

Why do so many women claim to dislike even the idea of a guy wearing a swim brief however fit he might be?

1 They have bought into the idea that any guy in a swim brief not n a swimming or diving competition must be gay, and thus definitely not a “catch” for a heterosexual female.

2 Women are wired differently sexually from men. A lot of women are unhappy that male sex organs are so “obvious” and a swim brief makes it very clear and all too obvious that a guy is different sexually from a female and that a guy has balls and a penis that is symbolic of male domination.

3 Many if not most women in a relationship with a guy whether they are a girlfriend or married to the guy. As such, they feel very threatened in a situation where other women could easily gawk at their guy’s sex organs even if fully covered by the brief. A woman who is OK seeing her guy in a swim brief in private may be all but OK if he is parading around in a situation where other females could gawk.

4 Some women claim that they are OK with a guy wearing a swim brief but only if the guy is in “perfect” physical condition AND under 30. They set high standards reasoning that these standards will deter a lot of guys who are even only slightly less fit from ever “daring” to wear a swim brief. But that is the entire point.

5 What goes on in private between a heterosexual couple may be very different from what is permitted in public. Without the concern (threat) from other women gawking a woman is perfectly free to “enjoy” seeing her own guy clad in a skimpy swim brief and maybe in an aroused state. This all could be an enjoyable prelude to partner sex for both. A guy could keep a selection of swim briefs for the same reason a women might want to own a selection of erotic lingerie she knows her guy would like to see her wearing.

Many men seem more than comfortable with their girlfriend or wife out in public wearing a string bikini or thong with a swimming bra that barely covers the nipples. Why is this?

1 This behavior has its roots in the idea of a “trophy” wife or girlfriend and a guy feeling that his status with his male colleagues or peers is enhanced if they see how he obviously succeeded in the dating game. In short, most guys happily put up with some peer male gawking of his significant other, so long as it doesn’t go “too far”.

2 So long as the female is willing to simply play along with this, all is well. I suspect that the gawking in some interesting ways might be erotic for the female.

Are gay guys really into skimpy swim briefs?

1 Yes they are. At least many of them are. Compared with the male-female complexities relating to swim briefs, the male-male situation is easy to understand. Both males have the same wiring and so what one of the two does in this regards should come as no surprise to the other. If a gay guy enjoys wearing skimpy swim briefs and even (ahem) gets aroused and hard in them, the tricky part is to find a male partner who likes very much the same thing. Swim brief heaven!

2 There are lots of aspects of gay male relationships that are far easier to navigate than is true for heterosexual couples, and this is only one of them. I suppose it is possible for a gay couple to disagree about this, but I have trouble thinking that the disagreement could ever be as complicated as what it might be for a straight couple.

What do lesbians, feminists and other females who are not sexually attracted to males think about guys wearing swim briefs?

1 This is a fascinating but difficult to answer question at least with a general degree of certainty.

2 I presume that most women who describe themselves as falling into one of these categories are put off, or perhaps even described as "repulsed" by the sight of a male penis even if covered by a swimming brief.

3 The first reaction women who describe themselves this way is that on seeing a guy wearing a swim brief in public, if he is not a competitive athlete, then he must be a gay guy.

4 Socially and politically, gay men and lesbian women sometimes are grouped together. But they couldn’t be more different in all sorts of different ways.

5 Part of the anger some women seem to have with respect to guys wearing swim briefs in public seems to be tied to a feminist perspective that the only truly acceptable guy is one who appears to not have any male sex organs, and a guy wearing even a modest swim brief is still going to obviously have some body parts that are offensive to see

6 In short, a lot of gay guys seem to flaunt their maleness by wearing a swim brief in public and a lot of women who are in the lesbian/feminist mode find that highly offensive and out of order.

7 My bottom line is that most women on the lesbian/feminist side really do not want to see guys hanging out in swim briefs under any circumstance.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LXIII

I have frequently thought about what I call the “seasonality” of horniness. A general idea is that for both sexes tend to mere easily go into a state of feeling aroused in the warm summer months than in the cool or cold winter seasons.

If you enjoy ejaculating (and what guy doesn’t?) you might think about whether or not your frequency follows any sort of seasonal pattern. This can be either in self-pleasuring or partner sex or some combination of the two. Do you tend to want to do it more often when the weather is warm or cold or does it not matter at all to you as in about the same interest in every season?

Another aspect of this is age related. As a young man, I was probably much like every other young man who really treasured any opportunity I had to get a hard on and conclude with a powerful ejaculation. There was absolutely nothing more enjoyable than getting to watch my own semen spurt out of my body and I became very fond of doing this.

But as I gradually grew older, the herky jerky part, while extraordinary fun, was only part of what I liked so much. Gradually I liked to more and more just “simmer”. Simmering means maintaining a significant arousal level perhaps with only a minimal erection if any, but going for increasingly lengthy periods of remaining in this semi-aroused state without going into a full-blown ejaculation. As I got older, more and more I began to increasingly enjoy these subtle aspects of male sexual arousal, using precum production as a visual gauge for determining whether or not I was enjoying myself and certainly not how rapidly I went into full-scale ejaculation mode.

Now, as some would say, I am an old man. Going into an orgasm is still possible and really enjoyable, except that it may take me a day or more to fully recover. For 24 hours or more after, I now feel sluggish and disinterested in sensations from my groin area that I would have loved very much had I not only recently got off. This poses more than a small dilemma..Now that I am retired, I don’t need to go to work. I can go for hours and even days literally feeling aroused and slowly precumming away, Or I can go into a mode in which I get off, enjoy my full orgasm immensely, then feel sluggish for a day or two before I start to come around and again get interested in playing with my sexual body.

This may seems strange to a guy in his 20s, but generally overall I like the first option I outlined much better than the second. And the first option seems to keep me going through the cold winter months as well. Occasionally I will still get off but getting off every couple days is no longer my most important goal. I would rather see just how long I can simmer.

You have already been introduced to a lot of the clothing items I use to help me simmer. As we are now into December, I thought I would share with you a little more details as to how this all works in all seasons. All of you also know that as a septuagenarian I still pursue an extensive exercise program with stationary rowing, a stationary bike and a weight machine. Part of what allows me to keep this up is that I like to get clothing items that make me feel good down there while I am exercising. I’m 5’10” and this morning I weighed 149.6 lbs.

I like to layer the clothing. For daytime wear, summer and winter, you will usually find the first layer to be a pair of tighty whiteys, ideally Boys size 10-12. These way snug-fitting cotton briefs are absorbent (they soak up the precum) and always feel way neat against my body. Over those in the warmer months a pair of swimming jammers or some traditional thigh-length compression shorts (the TSLA ones from Amazon are good quality and inexpensive. Size SM fits me fine.The Jammers from suppliers such as TYR I like to undersize to a 28” waist.)

Depending on how horny I am feeling, sometimes I put on an old school strap on over the tighty whiteys but under the jammers—usually without a cup but occasionally with a cup. The cup makes the time fly when stationary rowing and stationary biking but some days I am not “up” to quite this much groin tension.

My top is usually a short sleeved compression tee. And I can always pull on a looser fitting pair of shorts over the compression shorts or jammers if I am expecting visitors.

Summer sleepwear usually is just a bit too snug swim brief but I sometimes wear a loose fitting tee with that.

Then as the weather starts to turn cooler in the fall I still start with the tighty whiteys, but then I like to pull over a pair of running tights instead of the jammers or compression shorts. Then genuine football pants are fun to pull over the tights. (And of course, if I am wearing football pants how could I not also be wearing a strap and an undersized cup too?) Stationary rowing is particularly enjoyable with that combo. Every stroke sends way interesting message to my brain. I am very fond of the “messages” I receive from down there.

At night I may switch from the skimpy swim brief to a square legged brief/underwear that still fits close to my body.

Then in really cold weather I stick with the tighty whiteys and the running tights, but pull on a pair of looser-fitting sweatpants over. I still wear a long sleeved compression tee but with a looser-fitting sweatshirt on top. And, on occasion you would still find a strap (either cupped or not) between the tighty whiteys and the running tights.

At night, in the winter, I like to wear pile sleeping pants and a tee. What I wear underneath the sleeping pants each night depends on how much I want to challenge myself. You have already read in detail my experience with an undersized thong, strap and cup as nighttime wear in the winter. Less challenging for this but still fun is an undersized Seobean® swim brief. I particularly like the ones that are just not quite big enough to fully cover my butt crack leaving a Y-pattern at the rear. I spend the night tugging away on the rear of the brief, which snugs everything a little tighter. I need to be really careful though, as at about 3 AM this can get the best of me, and I end up getting to a point where the only way out is to have a full-scale orgasm which then shuts me down for a day or sometimes two. The real trick of course is to keep myself aroused but not quite enough to go into ejaculation mode. Of course it is fun to see exactly how far I can take this,--right to the very edge, as the sensations keep getting more and more pleasant, but on occasion I have been known to slip right over the edge .

To be continued…