What to wear?

[sebbie]

I realize some of my readers must be incredibly disappointed. Isn’t this supposed to be an erotic story of some sort? Shouldn’t this be all about two people meeting, falling in love and having sex with each other that should involve exchanging bodily fluids? This hasn’t happened, and now my readers are fearful that we might never get to that part, or, if we do, the story is not going to play out in any sort of familiar expected way.

Writing is extraordinarily fun—for the writer. For the serious reader, maybe not so much. As storylines progress, readers keep trying to figure out what they think will happen next, and then all of a sudden the storyline takes a completely unexpected term.

So, think back, where are we here? Two male college roommates, both think of themselves as straight as an arrow on a sexuality scale. Yet, something weird has happened. Not only do they both enjoy each other’s company, they have both gotten to a point whereby they are comfortable revealing to each other at least a little of what goes on in their deepest, darkest minds. And, strangely enough, the two of them are not living on different planets in this regard. They are both on the same planet other male college students their age are living. They are both living in a place in which some of the guys brag that they have girlfriends and get to exchange bodily fluids certainly on weekends and maybe a couple or even three times a week! Certainly this is the place where normal 19- and 20-year old guys live, and certainly any guy not living in that place must be socially challenged or have issues related to his own sexuality. Maybe, Maybe.

If I were to look back on each of these stories, the particular segment that sticks out in my mind is the one in which Dylan and Josh decided it would be fun to order a bunch of different swim briefs in varying colors, cuts and sizes, not for the purpose of going swimming (at least not in all of them), but rather to see what would happen to each of them if they sorted the suits by size, largest to snuggest, and then simply tried each brief on starting with the biggest, loosest-fitting one first, and then gradually working through each pile with each brief getting smaller, snugger and tighter-fitting.

Unless the guys are completely brain dead, just contemplating trying this should result in at least a partial hard-on. Dylan and Josh are completely normal guys in this regard. This is all related to the male fear of being seen with a bit of an erection while wearing a swim brief in public. But the really psychosexually interesting part here is pushing yourself to the limit as in seeing how much of this silliness a guy like Dylan can tolerate before he goes over the top and has no real choice any longer about whether or not he can further delay ejaculation.

Then to make matters even more interesting, there is another guy Josh, who is trying to do the exact same thing. There is no touching or anything else physical going on between the two of them. But still, the mere knowledge that there is another guy in the room having the same experience adds a unique element that makes the whole situation even more interesting for both of them.

So, one way of looking at all of this is that it is just a really elaborate way to engage in solo sex, and whatever happens therefore has got to be psychosexually less enjoyable than the real thing with a partner. This goes back to the old school of thought that basically says masturbation is something that children and socially maladjusted adults may occasionally engage in, but these people are, at minimum very unfortunate souls who are missing out on what really make the world spin on its axis—that is, partner sex.

Or, maybe masturbation can end up being TOO enjoyable. That is, techniques like what Dylan and josh are doing are so much fun that a guy’s desire to find a real partner who wants to have real sex will somehow be damaged. What if I come up with a technique like this one that is just too much fun to ever abandon? If I get into a relationship with another person, aren’t really fun solo sex experiences going to have to somehow recede into the background as I keep discovering ever more enjoyable things to do with my partner? In short, how do deeply satisfying solo sex experiences even fit into a relationship, or is all of this stuff just psychosexual baggage that needs to simply be abandoned and somehow forgotten or the entire relationship is in trouble?

But then, maybe all of this messing around with the swim briefs of various sizes has an odd payoff in a partner-focused sexual relationship. Certainly, hundreds, thousands or even tens of thousands of books and book chapters have been written under the generic title “Dealing with premature ejaculation” in which the guy goes off too quickly and the partner—usually a female partner—complains that it was all over before she got anywhere herself. Maybe all Dylan and Josh are doing is practicing and developing specific skills in this regard. As Yoda might have said, “Complicated stuff, this all is”.

At puberty, guys quickly learn that having an orgasm with ejaculation—any orgasm, is a life experience not to be missed. But almost as quickly they also learn that this should be done in private, alone, and as quickly as possible so as to not get caught doing it. Guys quickly develop real skills for getting hard and over quickly. Then they spend much of the rest of their lives unlearning what they had figured out how to quickly an efficiently do---instead letting sexual feelings bubble and simmer without boiling over for an ever longer period of time, even as the sexual partner attempts to do the same thing. The funny thing is that when the pot does boil over, and it eventually will, this becomes the path to a mind blowing orgasmic experience, whether with a partner or alone. And, either way there is certainly nothing at all wrong with that.

I suspect some of my readers think this chapter did not go they had figured either. All of this is too complicated and yet far too interesting to take lightly.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

It is always a great deal of fun to experiment with straps and cups. No two brands of cups are alike, and each one of them is shaped a little differently. Finding a cup that feels particularly good requires a bit of experimenting, and perhaps a fortunate find. Further, the one that works right for you might not be perfect for me. As the cup designers are well aware, no to guys have the exact same genital equipment—in fact there is a wide variation in this respect.

There has been substantial redesign of jock strap cups that has taken place largely from in the 1990s. The redesigns were a likely mostly a consequence of the fact that the old-school flat and hard cups tended to do make guys who wore them quickly get aroused and at least somewhat erect, which was probably not desirable from the perspective of success in many team sports if the guy was focusing on the sensations coming from his cup-clad groin area rather than the sport he was playing. Second, something needed to be done about the fact that the old-school cups did not protect the balls at all from hits coming in from below or underneath.

Thus, the Banana Cup® was invented. The term Banana Cup is a trademarked name by the company that first started selling these. Generally, they were shaped like a very large and wide banana, long and fairly narrow, and meant to cover the balls and the penis when in proper position. They appealed to guys who believed themselves to be quite large even flaccid. The top part of the banana was deep enough so that there was room for a guy. Many of the cups are big enough so that unlike the traditional straps and cups, it was pretty obvious that you were wearing one if you were.

If you haven’t noticed, traditional straps with cups or not of any design are not readily found any more in a lot of bricks-and-mortar stores. Discount retailers used to have sections devoted in part to these, but they are all but gone. And the ones you do still find are usually straps with oversized banana cups.

You can find these cups in smaller sizes, but they are made for the youth market. And you can fit a youth size cup in an adult strap. This can be an interesting experience as some of the smaller youth cups are quite narrow as well as small.

Still, for recreational jock strap wear, I still much prefer the old style strap fit with the traditional-fit hard cup that really holds my penis in a cinched-in position. This provides some great feelings and sensations as my mind keeps getting drawn back to where my penis is. Maybe you too!

So, what if you want to find a cup for “recreational” wear as I describe? Would this be a cup of a different size or shape than one you might pick for actually play a sport where you actually need to protect your genitalia? That is an interesting question.

Guys wearing cups, even the roomier ones, are generally aware that there is something around the penis. The sensations a guy feels might be part psychological as well as the physical sensation of the cup bearing down and around the sexually-sensitive penis. Some guys probable experience some discomfort, at least when first getting inside, but this is quickly followed by something that seems to be much more pleasant. This curious mixture of discomfort and pleasure is not readily obtained by any other method.

As Dylan and Josh surely have found out, there are ways of ramping up the experience a bit to make the sensations still more enjoyable. The right pair of men’s thong underwear when worn under the strap and cup can take everything to another level. For me, at least, the ideal thong is one that has but a narrow band or cord that cuts deep between the glutes as I move around. To get the thong in the proper position with everything inside, a guys penis and balls will both be pushed upward and forward, with lots of perineum pressure. Meanwhile the strap and cup are pressing everything downward and back in exactly the opposite direction. The sensation of the two simple items working in the opposite direction is sweet, to say the least. A guy’s penis will be very much aware of the confined space it is in with the cup bearing down. This is, well, a superbly delicious sensation.

Then to top everything off, a pair of compression shorts goes over the top of everything. At this point, I like to do some strenuous exercise, either on my stationary rower or my stationary bike. My exercise time seems to fly by. All my sexual “hot spots” get hit at the same time, multiplying the overall effect. The crack between my glutes is suddenly quite sexually sensitive and this really becomes apparent when my perineum is getting bombarded by the thong and the walls of my penis are constrained by the hard cup held in place by the compression gear. I love trying to move the up around just a bit while all of this stuff is going on, even though it is mostly constrained by the compression shorts.

All of this is highly recommended. From the perspective of the story line, these are stunts that Bill and Joe discovered many chapters ago, as well as techniques that Josh and Dylan have been learning.


To be continued…

[sebbie]

Over fifty years ago, I enrolled as a college freshman. Living in a 3-story dorm that was entirely made up with rooms, two men (that was new, we were suddenly not boys any more) to a room. Me, I was just a wee lad of only 17, not even 18 yet.

Some of the guys may have females on their minds. Me? I had another, much more important and immediate issue. On each floor of the dorm there was one very large military-style bathroom located way down the hall, with completely open showers with shower heads all in a row. There was a row of toilet stalls which, fortunately had doors, and a long row of sinks with mirrors, but that was it.

Does this sound like the dorm Josh and Dylan have been living in? Well, not surprising!

The guys wandered down the long hallway to the showers both morning and night, usually clad only in a bathrobe. That was the easiest way to deal with the situation of having to be out in the open and wanting to shower. Of course, the University had a military (ROTC was offered) “flavor” and men’s dorms that by design were somewhat like military barracks seemed only logical. After all, guys who went into the military would face a similar situation, and this was the late 60s when the draft and the Vietnam War was on. For the moment, anyway we were “safe” because generally the college kids had educational deferments at least until they finished undergraduate degrees. The question was what would be going on once we had graduated from college.

Me? by 17 I had already developed a series of masturbation techniques that I enjoyed a lot. Not quite as elaborate as the ones Josh and Dylan have been pursuing of course, but they were great fun for me nonetheless. Dylan and Josh have gotten to try a bunch of different things that I hadn’t thought of when I was a beginning college student and what they did in this respect has gone way beyond what I was actually able to do at that age.

The basic problem I faced was very simple. With no privacy, how was I going to adapt what I was doing with and to myself to the circumstances I was now in? In retrospect, I was pretty naïve at that age. But social morays were quite different back then as well. In those years, in this setting, there were no males who were openly gay, and certainly no males living under semi-military style conditions in the little double dorm rooms. At least, that was the assumption. Generally any male living in one of these double dorm rooms was assumed to be perfectly straight.

I guess we all were aware that some guys didn’t quite fit with that idea, but, interestingly enough, I never was aware of any teasing or bullying similar to what could have easily gone on in junior high or in high school. Still, there was this problem that if you were inadvertently discovered to be masturbating, and that meant at minimum that you were not getting any (with a girl). This led to the assumption that the frequent masturbators could be or even likely were gay guys. Therefore the “penalty” for being discovered masturbating was not something most guys would want to endure. This was long before the vast majority of guys were comfortable being openly gay.

These are my observations about undergraduate college life from over 50 years ago when society was very different from now. I keep thinking about how society has gradually changed with respect to being more and more comfortable with the entire idea that there are some people who are openly gay and that this is not something that any more needs to be kept secret. There are interesting implications for all of this in many ways.

For starters, a lot of these old dormitories still exist where the rooms are small doubles with the restroom facilities down the hall. Further, even back then, if two guys wanted to pick roommates, housing offices generally allowed and even encouraged that. So even back then there were no restrictions on two male guys rooming together in a dorm room for the entire duration of college. And what they did with and to each other during that period of time behind closed doors was completely private.

The issues are interesting. The housing office, then and now would never rent a dorm room to a guy and a girl who wanted to hook up for four years of college. But for two gay guys, this was perfectly fine.

Me, I was 17 and not anywhere near wanting to form a sexual relationship with anyone, male or female. Much like Dylan, I had too much else going on academically. I was a bookworm, pretty much and excelled at doing that.

Still, I was already deep into masturbation as an interesting and hugely enjoyable activity, and even then I kept thinking up new and endlessly fascinating ways to enjoy my own body. I kept thinking up stuff in that department that I had not yet gotten to try. But even admitting to being interested in masturbating was a very taboo topic for guys to even discuss, let alone demonstrate, even inadvertently or by “accident”.

For most guys, the entire topic of engaging in solo sex remains quite taboo and something that should be kept very secret. It’s still a topic that most guys refuse to discuss openly with other guys unless the guys are gay males. But even here there is still stuff that stumps me. A lot of gay guys seem to equate being in a gay relationship with having sex that involves an exchange of bodily fluids which is usually thought to be oral or anal sex, and if two guys do not do that, then they are not in a “real” gay relationship.

I also keep thinking about what seems to me to be at first a very simple question. That question is “what is sex?” Is sex defined as simply male and female penis in vagina? What about oral sex? Is that “real” sex? Or anal sex? Must “real” sex involve an interchange of bodily fluids?

Then is solo masturbation is not sex does this somehow change if another person is present? If a guy is masturbating and another person is present that is not masturbating is that mutual masturbation? Or does the other person have to also be masturbating as well? And is mutual masturbation, however defined, then actually a type of sex? What about a married couple who enjoys mutual masturbation? In so doing are they having sex? If they are not having sex what exactly are they doing in the presence of each other?

I’ve met male-female couples, often even married, who claim to be in love with each other but never actually have penis-vagina sex and they both seem to be fine with that. I suspect that the same also must happens with some, perhaps many gay male couples, but then we get bogged down in trying to define what is a gay relationship versus just a male roommate in a completely “innocuous” situation much like the male roommates in the dorm rooms.

Suppose I simply have a male roommate, and inadvertently he wanders in and discovers me having a lot of fun playing with my own body? Has the situation suddenly changed making him more than just a roommate? What if anything changes if when he watches me having so much fun that he gets horny just thinking about what I am doing, and, as a consequence, he can’t keep himself from starting to masturbate himself while watching me? Has the situation for both of us suddenly changed from just roommates to something that is on the cusp of becoming a true gay relationship? And am I suddenly finding more enjoyment because my roommate has suddenly decided it was OK to join in? Are the two suddenly on the cusp of a “real” relationship? This, to a degree, is exactly the problem Dylan and Josh are confronting.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

A lot of myths about the sexual behaviors of guys come about by watching “coming-of-age” movies. Invariably these movies contain several teen-age guys supposedly on the cusp of manhood, and, in particular on the prospect of having penis-vagina sex with a female their age, or in a few instances a female somewhat older (See the movie “Summer of 42” which was considered quite risqué when it came out in the early 1970s). It is from these movies where a lot of females learn about the boorish behaviors of males that they might encounter.

But think about this for a moment. Did your teen years approximate the script of any of these movies? Were you so fixated then on somehow having penis-vagina sex with a female that you somehow failed to notice that there were other, less complicated but still very interesting methods and ways to enjoy your own body, without having to suffer through all the complexities of a “real” relationship at that age with all its complications and uncertainties?

I hold the view that the typical coming-of-age movie represents what only a small minority of teen males actually did as teenagers. Many teen males may have fantasized about those kinds of encounters as seen in the movies, but that is not what really happened for most of them at least. Instead, the fantasies were simply fantasies, and as nearly every male surely knows, there is nothing like a fantasy to “assist” in the entire process of jerking off. Of course, a guy still faces the additional problem of finding a place and time to enjoy a good fantasy to a powerful conclusion, but that problem seems minor compared with the problem of having a real sexual relationship with a partner.

Still, engaging in solo sex has its own nagging problems, especially if a guy is discovered doing it at an inappropriate place or time, inappropriate being any place or time when privacy is somehow lost. And the myth that solo sex is somehow an immature thing to do creates its own set of issues. Still the only thing acceptable is for guys to somehow behave in a boorish manner as seen in the movies.

The goofiest thing about a sexual is how it somehow manages to mix together stuff that is purely psychological with stuff that is quite physical. But that is also at the very core of what makes a sexual orgasm such a wonderful treat.

There is an element of it that is purely in one’s head, but there is another equally important part that is largely driven by physical sensations. At some level nearly every guy understands that. To illustrate, Josh and Dylan have been engaging in activities that are really enjoyable from a purely physical perspective and have probably taught my readers a thing or two about what to try doing and the specifics of how to go about doing it. But the presence of Josh watching Dylan enjoying himself introduces a new purely psychological element into the mix, an element that Dylan realizes will add to his own pleasure. And the same or Josh as well.


Have Dylan and Josh somehow managed to enter a gay relationship just by engaging in this most simple form of mutual masturbation? When Josh and Dylan sat down to each order a series of snug-fitting swim briefs fully knowing what was in each other’s mind with respect to how these briefs were likely be going to be used (swimming at the gym, anyone?) , were they somehow crossing an imaginary line, and, if so, what did that line actually represent, anyway? The mere thought of climbing into a series of successively smaller, snugger and tighter swim briefs even as the online order was being placed is purely psychological not physical. Yet, even as the orders were being placed, there was likely something physical going on too.

Both Dylan and Josh knew what they were going to be doing with their packages of snug-fitting briefs once they arrived. Just this thought was enough to induce some physical sensations that quickly emanated from each of their respective groins, not to mention perhaps a few expectant drops of precum. Not exactly like what happens to a guy when he goes out on a date with a person whom he thinks might soon be a sexual partner, but not totally distant from or unlike that either.

This is all inherently complicated stuff. I would submit that the vast majority of females, taking cues from watching the movies, have any idea that males are so complex in this regard and that males have so many other options for enjoying their own bodies that do not involve a female. Or, at minimum, they WANT to believe that what they think they know about the sexual behavior of males is accurate, because in its own way, that puts the female in charge of controlling a guy by either permitting or not allowing sex with the female.

I have often thought that gay males in some ways have it a lot easier, as both males in a sexual partnership have lived with and enjoyed all the other stuff their entire lives. A guy in a gay relationship is probably not going to have any difficulty admitting to his male partner that he likes to masturbate, whereas this admission could easily break up a male-female relationship when the female concludes that she then must not somehow entirely “control” her male from her sexual “driver’s seat” so to speak.

There is a lot to think about here. What, for example is the role of the psychological anticipation of getting to pull on a swim brief you are nearly certain will be too small and too snug for you, versus the physical sensations embodied in the reality of actually doing just that? Exactly how horny will you feel when you get to actually try on that new, super-slick brief? The mere anticipation is part of the fun. Will you be unable to control your urges and want to ejaculate almost immediately after you are in? Or can you tolerate the sensations for awhile as you keep feeling hornier and harder?

Complex stuff, all of it.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Past puberty, most guys quickly discover that on awakening each morning, every day turns out to be a little different. I’m talking about not only what a guy is thinking about as he awakens in the morning, but also whether or not there are specific identifiable sensations emanating from the various parts of the groin area. This is one of those complex but fascinating parts of male sexuality. Females likely experience some of the same feelings and sensations as well. Once again, the physical and the psychological get melded together in what can turn out to be an awesome mix, or not, depending on how the day goes.

There are all sorts of possibilities here. Suppose you awaken knowing that day that you are going to be doing some very demanding and complicated work and that your mind needs to be at its sharpest and best with zero time for distractions, sexual or otherwise. The last thing you want to have happen is for your mind to be distracted with sensations emanating from your groin, no matter how pleasant they potentially might be under different circumstances.

At the other extreme, suppose that everything in your life is going well and you simply realize that there will be time for a break from the intense activities you were engaged in. You have a weekend coming up with nothing special planned that you need to do, at least not on a rigid schedule that requires you to be at a certain place at a certain time. Certainly this is the time to kick back, have a lazy day, and just try to enjoy yourself (so to speak) being out of the intensive mental and physical grind for a bit.

For most guys, there are also all sorts of days that may fall somewhere between these two extremes, say days at work or school that do not call for everything you have got. Generally, some days are just made to go smoother than others. Some days are just not as intense, either psychologically or physically, as others, and in most jobs guys will cycle through some of each of these possible scenarios.

We have all seen movies where a guy wakes up and desperately wants to have sex with his live-in partner. The partner desperately wants to as well, but the guy has something going on at work where he needs to be out the door in 15 minutes, tops. No time for sex for sure, even a truncated session, but the guy somehow manages to get himself together and psychologically shut down his horniness so that he can get to work and help resolve whatever the immediate crisis at work happened to be. The attention that has to be devoted to the crisis at work temporarily shuts down the guy’s general horniness level.

A college student in the midst of a tough exam is hardly going to want to contend with pleasant sensations from his penis at the same time the exam is ongoing, but afterwards, when the pressure is off, maybe.

What does this have to do with “what to wear?” anyway? It turns out, quite a lot! Everyone is aware of the familiar question asking if a particular guy prefers to wear boxers or briefs. One of the problems with this is that it somehow assumes that all guys have a clear preference for one style over the other as in some guys must wear only boxers and other guys wear only briefs. But I submit that the majority of guys have a wide assortment of different underwear styles in heir wardrobes, ranging from loose-fitting boxers through tighty whitey briefs in various sizes all the way down to skimpier items that fit even snugger.

I know how this works for me. I have all these possibilities available to me. Each morning I make my choice depending on how horny I feel along with the question of what I plan to do on that day whether or not the activities will take a lot of my attention both psychological and physical. Invariably, if there is likely to be stress that day I will choose underwear that fits quite loose. If the day is simply a lazy weekend day around home, I will quickly pick something from the snugger, tighter and skimpier options I have. Something still skimpier, say thong underwear, if I really want to jerk off and know I will shortly be in a situation where I can do that. I suspect that it works this way for a lot of guys. For me, this even affects me in what I wear with the underwear, and my skinniest jeans tend to be worn on the days when I am not under intense pressure from other activities and am feeling the horniest.

I also do a lot of exercising using my home gym equipment, a stationary rower, a stationary bike, and a weightlifting machine. These activities can get quite boring particularly since I tend to spend a lot of time working out (a couple hours a day). But the time seems to go much faster if I am feeling horny as I row or ride the bike. Wearing something really snug as I work out helps the time I spend go quickly. Stationary rowing while wearing thong underwear is, of course,well, interesting. Straps are fun to wear while exercising too, and I like to wear a strap with a cup over a pair of undersized tighty whiteys as one option. I even wear cupped straps doing yard work. The psychological knowledge of just knowing the cup is there along with even a slight physical sensation from the presence of the cup tends to be very pleasant.

Finally, I’ve often thought about the situation faced by guys on a swim team where the coach has decided that for a very important upcoming meet it critical that the swimmers minimize drag, and so the coach gives each swimmer a brief that is about two sizes undersized. Psychologically, each swimmer, already used to wearing swim briefs, knows that his body parts are going to be in a place that is going to be really confining, and each guy is wondering how his body ill react to the situation. What happens somewhat depends on whether the coach sends the undersized suits home with each swimmer to try on in private and check the fit in front of a mirror, or whether he just passes them out at the meet and tells the swimmers to wear them. The latter might actually lead to less apprehension as the team members might be so focused on swimming fast that their attention is diverted from where their penis is. But maybe not…

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Ahhh, the Sensations. It wasn’t long after puberty came on that I discovered that I was able to do something that I thought was really interesting. Almost by accident, I discovered that I could take myself from a normal (flaccid) state to a full scale erection and, interestingly enough, sometimes even to a full-scale orgasm without ever even touching my penis. I merely needed to be in the right (though some might say wrong) state of mind and not be distracted by anything other than the interesting sensations I was feeling moment-by-moment in my groin area. I quickly learned however that sexual arousal in this form was something of a full-body experience. What started out as sensations emanating mainly from the groin area suddenly encompassed in a very strange way my entire mind and body.

I was endlessly fascinated with this, and enjoying myself immensely when it happened. Yet at the same time I was terrified at the whole thought that it was that easy for me to get off and, obviously, what kind of a situation would I get myself into if this most fascinating sequence of events happened in some time or place that was embarrassing or otherwise inappropriate? At that age, I kept wondering too if I was the only guy in the world who had a unique set of skills of being able to ejaculate without even having to touch myself, or whether the other guys my age commonly had a similar skill or “problem” with just being a guy.

A was but vaguely aware of the fact that masturbation was also known as self-abuse, which implied that I should have to do something to myself, say maybe touch or lightly stroke my penis. But I was at the age where I was regularly having something called nocturnal emissions. I would wake up in the morning and there would be a starchy oval stain on the front of my PJs.

Ejaculate can be messy. I quickly learned that while these ejaculations while I was still asleep were OK , it was just a heck of a lot more fun if I could get myself in a mode so I would wake up just before I blew. And not long after that, if I woke up with just a full erection going on I could use my hand as a tool to explore and enjoy the sweet sensations coming from the nerve endings in my penis while bringing everything to a powerful conclusion at, say, 2 AM. In which case the semen stains on my pajamas would likely be dry by morning and I could just get up in the morning and act nonchalant as if nothing weird or out-of-place had happened.

I learned a lot about how guys work, sexually, in those cold winter bedtime nights as a teenager, information that has served me well over the decades. I kept wondering if the other guys my age were having similar experiences, but I never dared ask any of my peers, being concerned that if I raised the issues with them I would be looked upon as even weirder than they thought I was already.

Having said that, when it comes to the nuances of sexual arousal, there are probably nearly as many mechanisms for getting turned on as there are guys out there, and all of this tends to be very personal stuff. So personal in fact that it is a wonder to me that as many guys as do manage to somehow find sexual partners that they feel comfortable sharing sexual turn-ons and that generally the world operates as smoothly relationship-wise as it does. I’ve come to realize that for many guys, getting turned on sexually is so intertwined with finding the “right” sexual partner that it is all but impossible to separate the two. Yet at the same time there are lots of different ways of enjoying yourself sexually that in no way endangers or even involves another person and yet is still enormously satisfying.

The very idea of enjoying yourself sexually without getting oneself involved with another person seems to bother a lot of people as if this were a manifestation of an illness of some sort, say the illness of being labeled a “social recluse”. People who are heavily involved in partner relationships tend to think that there is something surely wrong with those who for whatever reason do not see their lives as going that way, those who find dealing with the non-sexual aspects of living day by day with as sexual partner as being stifling, as in the air has been let out of the tires. Pity the poor guy who finds himself married but still enjoys masturbation methods he learned at an early age. Is he stuck meandering through life ever again getting to do the very things he so much enjoyed when he was younger, and single, or is he supposed to somehow act as if this is not still part of his very being?

At an early age, I fell in love with the sheer enjoyment of getting aroused. I’m sure that is evident in everything I have written here. But I also quickly discovered that some snug-fitting item of clothing could make it all even more fun. If that sounds weird, or abnormal to guys whose arousal triggering method is totally intermingled with the idea of being with a partner for sex so be it, but from my perspective I think I was the one who got lucky in that I can still enjoy myself a lot completely free of the burdens associated with day-to-day life with a partner. At the same time I certainly would not call myself asexual at all. Indeed, writing all these stories so that others may read has been very cathartic for me.

Over the years, I have had many male friends who have gone into and then out of relationships with women. I watched these guys muddle through their lives, often in the unhappy phases of various marriages, sometimes not only one but maybe a succession of two, three or even more failed marriages. Almost invariably the guy eventually decides that this marriage is the last for him, and that what needed to happen to keep his latest sexual partner happy just overwhelm him. The same questions keep popping into my head over and over, but I never dare share with them what I have written here.

Think about what I have just told you. A lot of guys could choose to live a perfectly normal single life that is full of immense sexual pleasure without ever even getting involved sexually with another person. A relationship is no certain path to sexual happiness. There are a few techniques that a guy needs to know about how his own sexual body works in order to accomplish this, but by and large they are not difficult to learn. The most difficult part is, at first, dealing with the questions related to “why aren’t you married?” and then the inevitable rumors that must circulate that if you don’t have a wife at a certain age you therefore must be gay. But the rumor-mongering soon stops, and you can go back to having a very pleasant life sexually and non-sexually, free of most of the headaches that your partnered friends are trying to handle.

This is a happy thought, not sad.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

My regular readers know that there are many different ways for a guy to enjoy himself without getting into the complexity of a relationship. What better way to do this than by pulling on a really snug-fitting swim brief. I suspect there are some guys who are at least a little bit embarrassed about the fact that they like to do this, let alone share with anyone specific techniques that they find to be particularly enjoyable.

I realize that a lot of guys think that a powerful orgasm with lots of ejaculate is the ultimate goal for a guy to pursue. For me, a slower, somewhat laid back approach to getting off is normally ultimately much more rewarding, consistent with my view that the longer you can remain aroused and hard, the more interesting and powerful the final moments will be. And what I am saying here is not a truth limited to benefiting guys engaging in solo sex. This is at the very core of what can make sex with a partner ultimately much more exciting and rewarding as well. There are things to lean about how to enjoy yourself whether you are in a relationship with a sexual partner or not. So this is equal opportunity thinking.

The other idea about male sexuality that I find so endlessly fascinating is how the sensations coming from a guy’s groin area vary moment-by-moment during arousal. A lot of guys equate arousal with getting hard and growing, but there is way more going on than that, all fun to discover and enjoy. This starts when the mind thinks about or perhaps sees something that is interpreted as sexually arousing. For me, at least, this has almost invariably been followed by a few drops of glistening clear precum even if there has not been enough time to even start to get hard.

Some guys claim they never precum, but somehow I doubt that. I tend to associate the slight dampness at the tip of my penis with moving into arousal mode, which could soon lead into some ore new sensations.

The other complicated part about the male penis is that it is not only filled with nerve endings that when touched to neat things to a guy’s brain, but also if a guy is even starting to get hard, the sensitivity of these nerve endings and the extent to which you will enjoy the sensations varies moment-by-moment. Penises cannot simply always be in high gear in this regard. Flaccid penises tend to be far less touch sensitive than hard penises, but the really interesting part about this is how the nerve endings vary in sensitivity moment by moment as a guy goes from flaccid but aroused to hard. I find the range of the sensations and how they “mess” with my brain moment-by-moment to be an endlessly fascinating part of being a guy.

Once arousal happens and an erection gets even a little bit underway, of course, blood flows into the penis. The endlessly-fascinating part here is that if a guy pays attention to what is happening, there are some neat sensations that mess with you as only a little bit of extra blood flows into the penis. A guy can sense that the nerve endings in the penis are producing more interesting sensations as the blood starts to flow in, even if you are not actively engaged in stroking or even touching yourself.

And, of course, a snug-fitting item of clothing such as an undersized swim brief makes the sensations even more obvious and enjoyable. It’s a lot more fun to enjoy yourself while wearing the right swim brief than trying for you to experience this nude or in loose-fitting boxers. That is a simple fact.

Let me suppose that you are about 2/3 hard and your penis is in an “up” position inside that snug-fitting swim brief. Guys generally know that for a specific hardness level, the underside of the penis is more sensitive and fun to touch and stroke than the top of the penis. The problem with stroking the glans of a hard penis is that will send a guy into a full-scale orgasm very quickly. Maybe better to hold of on that a bit.

Meanwhile, with your penis up, the underside will be pressing against the slick cloth of the front of the swim brief. When you see a guy in this “predicament” you have to assume that psychologically he is having a great time. Somehow, I must admit that this invariably “gets” to me if I see a guy in this state, and I will want nothing more than to be in the exact same situation. I suppose this could be worked into partner-sex, say two guys facing the same situation and predicament.

I would encourage my readers to explore their own bodies by trying some of these techniques. The techniques are perfectly safe and you will learn about the range of sensations that re possible sexually. If you end up just enjoying yourself, that is fine and you should take advantage whenever you can. But if some of these ideas are helpful in a sexual relationship with a partner, and that is fine too. Perhaps you can teach your partner a thing or two in the process.

It’s great being a guy!


To be continued....

[sebbie]

At first take, a Lycra-blend wrestling singlet would appear to be something very different from a standard Lycra-blend swimming brief, but for a lot of guys they have a lot in common. For starters, they are both designed to be worn with a very snug fit, despite the obvious differences in size and body coverage of the two suits. I suspect that most guys who might be apprehensive about wearing a snug-fitting swim brief would also have some apprehension about getting into and wearing a properly snug-fitting singlet.

Singlets are designed to conform to a guy’s body as tight as is reasonably feasible in part because of the nature of the wrestling sport. A smooth, body-conforming singlet is going to make it very difficult for the opponent to get a firm grip on a guy, so, in that respect the tighter the fit the better. But that means that the best-fitting singlet for competitive wear is going to be more than a little difficult to get into and out of. That is something of a dilemma but is also part of the fun.

As my readers know, I am very much into stationary rowing, and have been engaging in that for over 30 years. One of the benefits of stationary rowing on a daily basis is that it is a very easy way to build strong, wide shoulders not to mention chest and upper body. Part of my interest in stationary rowing is that I thought it would be a simple way to increase the size and strength of my shoulder and lat muscles and that has proven to be true, and I have much broader shoulders than most guys my age.

Wrestlers at the high school and college levels come in all sorts of different sizes and compete in matches in a lot of different weight classes. For a singlet to fit correctly, almost as a second skin, so your opponent has as little as possible to grab in attempting to take you or hold you down, the singlet needs to be available in enough sizes to accommodate all the different sizes of wrestler . For me, I would logically wear a singlet labeled as Medium, given that I am 5’10” and 150 lbs. But my problem has been that a singlet this size fits me very well in the bottom into the chest, but getting the shoulder straps in place, at least for some brands, has posed a struggle. I conclude that those who engage in stationary rowing are not built like an average wrestler of the same size, and the difference is mainly in the shoulder size.

Of course, there are techniques I have learned to make it possible to get the shoulder straps in proper position, but these typically involve first recognizing that the shoulder straps will go on easier if the singlet is first cinched up as much as possible into the groin area and buttocks, which can be interesting to say the least. And using a wrestling singlet as garb for rowing once I am in works well, in part because with each rowing stroke the rower’s shoulders give a nice firm tug to the groin and buttocks.

A lot of guys would probably “react” to this situation in much the same way they would to being in a snug-fitting swim brief. All the tugging and pulling that goes on in the groin area probably will elicit some bodily “responses” whether or not a guy consciously wants to go there or not. Oozing precum is certainly a real possibility under the circumstances I have described.

Not being a wrestler myself in any part of my life, I have been curious as to what high school and college wrestlers like to wear under a wrestling singlet. From what I have learned so far, there is no standard answer to this. Going into this research I presumed that perhaps an old school jock strap might still be favored and maybe with a hard or soft cup. But I presume wrestlers tend to avoid even inadvertently attacking an opponent in the groin area, or points in the match will be lost if not disqualification. So perhaps the need for a hard cup is minimized by how the wrestling matches are scored.

The most consistent answer I have heard on this topic is that wrestlers wear pretty much whatever works for them in their particular situation. No doubt many wrestlers would think a damp precum spot on the front of their singlet right at the penis tip could prove embarrassing in a public match, so maybe some snug fitting briefs made of absorbent cotton would work to absorb the precum before it show up as an oval stain on the singlet. Loose-fitting boxer shorts worn under a singlet for a variety of obvious reasons would appear to work less well.

A wrestling singlet is an interesting choice for engaging in a variety of non-competitive gym sports from weightlifting to stationary rowing and bike riding and are a particularly good choice for guys who get a little turned on by the fit and feel of Lycra-blend fabrics that snug . As I see it, the trickiest part is getting the sizing correct for your specific build so that you succeed in getting that neat snug fit you want without having too much difficulty getting in and out of the singlet.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

At this time of year, I cannot help but think back to my younger days and in particular how important it was to me growing up to have the opportunity to first learn about and then enjoy my own body. Wintertime starting with the shortest days of late December leading into early January played a particularly important role in this respect. The nights were long and the days are short, and a guy’s mind is not filled with so many distractions as seem to occur at other times of the year.

Somehow, for me, this meant a lot of time to myself, and, often under the cover of darkness, discover some stuff that I might not have discovered in the daylight hours. I have long suspected that practically every guy must go through this phase of their existence. A guy is in a situation whereby there is still much to be learned about merely being a male, and what better time to explore all of this than when a guy has time on his hands. School is probably out, and there is not the constant tension that arises from having to be mentally focused on the things going on around you.

I sense that not every guy copes in the ways I did. Some guy’s lives seem to focus at times like this on delving into relationships, perhaps early versions of somewhat sexual relationships with another person, most commonly at this age a female person. I realize that some of the guys like to brag to their male friends about where they got to in these early sexual conquests as if getting into a sexual relationship was a competitive sport.

A lot of people tend to think of teen-age relationships as being spur-of-the-moment kinds of things, but sometimes young people end up making better decisions than might have occurred had the decision been made later in life. One of my high school classmates dropped out of high school at age without graduating, to marry her sweetheart, about two years older. Some 53 years later the two of them are still happily married to each other. All I can say about this is “all the best” and that I am very happy that this all worked out so well for the both of you.

Having said that, I keep coming back to my own situation which suggests that getting into a relationship with a sexual partner (straight or gay) may not always be the secret to long term sexual happiness. Somehow, throughout my life, I seemed to have male friends who were in relationships with female partners and were miserable, and that is putting it mildly. As time passed, all these guys could think about is how much happier they would be if they could somehow go back into a situation whereby they were single again, without the heavy burdens that being in a sexual relationship brought to them. I’m talking about maybe a half dozen guys over the years in this situation, some who went through more than one divorce.

I became friends with these guys I guess in part they admired me for being “smart” enough not to get myself into one of these clunky sexual relationships that lead to so much unhappiness for both participants. They realized the life I was navigating seemed to be working out fine without all the baggage associated with having a sexual partner. But still, there were and are mysteries in how one can operate as a guy without being in some sort of a sexual relationship with a partner.

Or perhaps not.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

2018 Holiday reviews, Part I

Growing up, I always longed for items of clothing as presents that would help me feel horny all during the season. As an adult, I vowed to not try and rely on other people to figure this all out, and every year I would buy myself a few gifts that I thought I would really really like to receive. This has all evolved into an annual affair for me starting in mid-November with online shopping allowing me to get the packages without really keeping track of what might be in each one of the packages. Sometimes I even try and forget what I ordered until Christmas is upon me.

Many of you probably remember that Josh and Dylan bought gifts for each other with the subtle objective being to get the other guy into a state of horniness to the point where he can’t help but want to jerk himself off.

The stuff I buy myself tends to vary year by year. This year I did not buy myself yet another strap (I have a huge collection of those already) nor were there any wrestling singlets in the orders (I have several ones of those already as well). This year I focused on some really snug compression gear, a couple of swim briefs. Last night I started unwrapping (well, by taking stuff out of bags) the various items I had picked out.

The various venders always want reviews of their products. The problem of course is that I need to tone down my reviews relative to what I write here. I can’t just say a particular item would be fun to jerk off in or even that getting into the item makes me horny enough to ooze precum, like I routinely say here. In my public site reviews I do drop subtle hints that if you read between the lines you might conclude something in this regard.

The items this year turned out to be really fun to wear and I have tried them all on. As I do this I keep wondering if other guys with the same tem would tend to “react” in the same way or at least similarly.

I thought all of you would first like to see for each item that I wrote for the vendor review in one paragraph. Then in the paragraph that follows I will try and explain what I really am trying to communicating using more blunt language. As all of you know I am very fond of items that make me feel horny even if this doesn’t quickly lead to an erection and orgasm and I use precum ooze as a measuring stick to determine exactly how successful item each is at achieving my goal. I will rank each item of a 5-point, (5-smiley) scale as it affected me when I tried it on.

The first two items were from Amazon, a pair of compression shorts and two pair of compression pants. Most guys my size might order these in size Medium, but you all know how fond I am of downsizing, so I went with the Small. Other guys if you read their reviews seem more than a little “nervous” about downsizing compression gear and you will often see them upsizing rather than downsizing. But I always thought wearing the gear as undersized as feasible was all part of the fun. (This is similar to the panic phase some guys go into when undersizing swim briefs.)

So, here are the first two reviews, first the one that went to the Web site and then my additional comments. I’m also including a link to the product just in case anyone feels compelled to order. None of the items this year were expensive.

Tesla navy compression shorts, navy blue.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B079YRR63X/

These are a fine pair of compression shorts at a bargain price, though some colors are more expensive than others. The whole point of compression gear is for it to go on like a second skin as in snug and tight. I have a 31-inch waist and actually ordered these in size Small (S). The elastic waistband will need to stretch a bit, but once I am in these are quite comfortable to wear and do fit just like a second skin. The look is really great, and at a very reasonable price. I especially like the fit and feel under a pair of sweatpants, and intend to wear this combination over the winter months in my stationary rowing, biking and weight-lifting. These fit correctly to size and there is certainly no reason to upsize.

I’m wearing these right now with a snug pair of tighty whiteys underneath and sweatpants over. In this setup, I have been feeling horny all morning long. I am very much aware that the compression shorts are on me and further, for me at least they are hitting all the right buttons. Part of the success I am having in precum production relates directly to the undersizing, but these are a great pair of shorts regardless.

Horniness/precum ranking 4/5 based on a 5-smiley scale:
4 :-)

Tesla compression pants

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N5PYHJU/

I’ve long believed that the key to good compression gear is a fantastic fit, snug and tight, so that the gear fits a guy as if it was part of his body not just another piece of clothing. Not all guys may see this exactly the way I do (and this might not be for the faint-hearted) but I like to undersize compression gear a bit. The Tesla gear is able to stretch a lot, so I get the fit and feel that I am seeking. I particularly like the bright green Tesla compression pants but the navy blue ones are neat too. In cooler months these are excellent under sweatpants but in the summer months with a looser-fitting pair of workout shorts over. You will both look and feel great at the same time. These fit true to size, and at minimum you should not oversize. The snug fit is the key!

I ended up with two pair of these one in the bright green shown and one in the navy blue. These do indeed fit just as snug in the ankle and calf as shown, in the size I ordered (Small). You should have a lot of fun just getting yourself into these and getting important body parts into the correct position. The fabric is slick and smooth and provides a slick and smooth fit everywhere on your body. These might make it as bedtime wear as well. The green ones really do it for me even though the navy ones are nice too.

Ooze/precum wise I would have to rank these about the same as the shorts:
4/5 smileys.
4 :-)

To be continued below as Part II