What to wear?

[sebbie]

Some of you by now may think I have completely forgotten about Dylan, the fourth member of the group. And Dylan has been rather quiet and things of various sorts have been going on around him. The funny thing is that it is sometimes the quietest guy who ends up enjoying himself the most, even if the others around him do not for whatever reason do not fully understand or appreciate all of this.

To be sure, Dylan is a sweet guy, and it is not in his character to be loud or obnoxious or say or do things that other guys might find objectionable. Just because Dylan is at the gym does not mean that he has suddenly changed, personality wise or otherwise.

Those of you who have followed Dylan in this story can perhaps relate to how quiet-and-sweet Dylan thinks and feels. At least since puberty, Dylan has always been very fond of his own body and in particular how it feels. Growing up in his family with very little privacy and the feeling that he needed to always be the “good” kid did have its issues however. You see, Dylan has always had these “hang-ups” relating to snug-fitting clothing of various sorts, hang-ups that he felt that he could never be able to reveal to anyone else around him, male or female. Getting into and then wearing snug-fitting clothing of many different kinds always made Dylan somehow feel good inside, but it was the type of goodness that Dylan thought he would never be able to share with anyone else of either sex.

Now Dylan is in college, and gradually Dylan has discovered that he could be a little more open with respect to his innermost thoughts and interests when with at least some of his male friends than he ever thought he might have been when he was younger. The really odd thing is that Dylan has discovered that for at least three of his male friends, his gym buddies, the friends seem to not find what Dylan likes to be strange or even a bit odd at all. Dylan is still concerned that his inner thoughts and feelings might be the ramifications of a “gay streak”, but, if that is the case, then maybe Dylan’s three buddies also suffer from the same or a very similar “problem.”

Somehow, Dylan knows that his friends Josh, Bill and Joe are doing ome stuff they would not be doing if they didn’t share some of Dylan’s thoughts and interests. This is weighty stuff, tho, and perhaps should not be dug into too deeply.

So, where is Dylan right now? We have left Dylan clad in several items each of which in its own way are making sweet sensations and feelings. Dylan has always loved slick feeling swim briefs, and the snugger and skimpier the better. Dylan never dared reveal that to his parents or siblings, let alone his male friends in high school. So no one really knew that, and the possibilities for purchasing such a garment were also very limited. But now, in College, he was freer to do what he wants in this regard. Dylan loves the fact that his groin area is neatly contained in his little Desmiit® swimming brief, snugger, skimpier and tighter fitting than anything he has ever gotten the opportunity to wear before. Dylan’s penis and balls just feel good in that environment. What a sweet place for a guy to be!

The other items Dylan is wearing only add to the sweet sensations. It’s the mix that works so well: The feel of his penis inside the swim brief: The feel of the jock and cup bearing down on his slickly-encased penis. And, of course the compression shorts that are holding everything securely in place.

Dylan really wants top get hard. Psychologically, he knows that. Yet the fit of the various items constrains his ability to grow. His penis seens to sense what is around it, and why a full-scale hard-on might not be the best thing under the circumstances. Still, Dylan is feeling pretty good right now. He is with his buds who must be somehow attempting do deal with very similar thoughts and issues. He is wearing the articles of clothing he could only dream about (and he did have dreams containing them) when he was younger.

What to do? Why hop on the treadmill and start running. Maybe the exercise will divert his mind from thinking about his male body parts so much. Or, maybe the exercise will simply add to the fun or possible make matters worse, depending on what your mindset might be.

So, sweet Dylan, filled with sweet thoughts, is off for a run on the treadmill. While wondering whether his buds at the gym are having to deal with something similar. These are moments to be savored, regardless of what might be going on. Complicated stuff for sure. But stuff not to be missed, either.

To be continued….

[sebbie]

In case there are any readers who have not yet fully grasped this, what the four of them—Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh are doing is running experiments to see how much pressure, both physical and psychological, each of them can tolerate before being overwhelmed by the urge to ejaculate right now. I suppose that the typical guy would engage in such an experiment with the involvement of a girl friend or female partner. While such an experiment might be, well, interesting, there are numerous issues with all of this, starting with the issue of whether or not there is a female friend out there somewhere who is sufficiently attracted to you to be a willing participant in such an experiment.

For college freshmen, there are all sorts of complicated issues with this. You don’t just go out and verbalize with any girl you might meet or perhaps even be attracted to that you are in need of running an experiment aimed at determine how much psychological and sexual pressure you might be able to tolerate without immediately ejaculating in her lap (or “wherever”). I suppose girls think about guys and their feelings and what is going on in their heads, but what they think they understand about guys in this regard is usually way off from reality. A lot of girls think they learned stuff like this from their mothers—as in that guys see females as the single source of sexual pleasure and that any guy who appears to enjoy solo sex (aka masturbation) is a social outcast who would be avoided as a potential partner. That was part of what mama taught you about guys. After all, that is how it works with the girl’s father, or is it. There are sometimes deep secrets hidden inside marriages bubbling up just under he surface that no one ever verbalizes. One of these being “dad likes to masturbate whenever he gets the chance of doing so without being discovered”. But, if that is true, then maybe male sexuality is a whole lot more complicated than mama realized.

Most mothers raising sons gradually learn that guys past puberty (and maybe before) not only can but do masturbate, and perhaps a lot. Sometimes they end up in situations where they get caught, and that can prove quite embarrassing not only for the guy, but for whoever discovers him, not to mention the issues that occur when the discoverer is a male peer. So as guys get a little older, the quick masturbation becomes the usual method to limit the chance of discovery by family members or peers.

But now, here we have four guys, Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh, who are not only doing things to themselves that make them aroused and horny, but they have basically admitted to each other that is really what is motivating them right now. That situation is, well, interesting. At an earlier age, they would be too embarrassed to admit to someone else their age irrespective of gender that they were actually experimenting with schemes that feel good let alone keeping hidden a collection of clothing that is helpful with the task at hand. This gets complicated in part because the guys are essentially admitting to each other that this is the case even though each of them probably knew this as individuals already. It’s just that once in college, things are a little more flexible in this regard than was the case when they lived at home.

The fact that each of the guys are engaging in this in the presence of three other guys is in itself interesting. To illustrate, a guy would not dare tell a girlfriend that he really gets turned on just getting into and wearing a snug-fitting swim brief. Such a girlfriend would have to be really open-minded if a guy were going to try to be truthful here. But, for whatever reason, admitting this to a group of three other college-age guys seems somehow less daunting than explaining this to the female partner thing.

The only unanswered question is whether or not the behavior of the four guys in being more open with admitting to each other what they are really up to represents some sort of gay behavior. In particular, what role does the knowledge that there are three other guys with you who are doing the same thing to their bodies and struggling in much the same manner psychologically with all of the fun tensions and sensations play in the overall level of sexual excitement for each individual? Is this group masturbation in some strange form? And, if so, is this somehow a gay activity since only other peer males are involved?

I suppose that one response might be just for guys having fun with themselves and with each other. This is less about gay sex than it is about just another form male bonding. Now males bond in all sorts of ways, usually involving shared activities they all enjoy. One way of looking at what is going on here is that it is just four college freshmen getting involved in an exercise program at the school gym. Whatever else might be happening or not, is kept hidden for now.

But, psychological and physical pressures have been building for each of them for some time now. No one can deny that. As the various exercise routines progress, all four of them are probably feeling horniier and hornier, and the focus of their attention increasingly is placed on the sensations and feelings, which seem to not only vary, but get more and more intense almost moment–by-moment.

How long can each of the guys tolerate the situation he is in, and what happens after they get back to the dorm?

To be continued….

[sebbie]

The experiences that Josh, Bill, Joe and Dylan are having right now represent really interesting places for each of them to be in on a host of different fronts. An interesting question to pose is whether or not nearly all guys, if given the opportunity, would long to be in the situation each of the guys now finds himself to be in.

This thought begs the larger question—the question that looms over this entire series of chapters and stories like some giant elephant. That question, of course, is how any guy their age might respond (or not, ha ha) if the same opportunity faced by the four guys were available to them. This is not an easy question to try and answer, but is certainly a question worth posing and discussing here. I hope my readers understand exactly what I am trying to say here without having to provide additional detail. But none of you would be reading this if you did not have an appreciation for what I am suggesting, at least at some level.

In addition to this elephant-sized question, there is a still bigger question that looms large. That question is so big and so general that it can almost be summarized with the question “What is male sexuality all about, anyway?” Heck, maybe we should ask the question “What is human sexuality all about, anyway?”

Now I know that some of my readers see male sexuality as being completely intertwined with the idea of having partner sex. That male sexuality is really all about engaging in physical sex with a partner, straight or gay. Sexual pleasure for two closely connected people is all about getting the most, and giving the most, to the partner. In this world, the partner is the central focus for everything that provides sexual pleasure in the relationship.

In such a world, it is all but impossible to separate sexual pleasure from the idea of a relationship between two people, and all that idea entails, good or, shall I say, difficult. EVERY relationship has its ups and downs, periods of great pleasure sexual and otherwise, and, well, periods where everything didn’t go quite as planned. This is the normal part of being a human being.

But, Josh, Bill, Joe and Dylan have wandered into a crazy but wonderful place whereby they can enjoy themselves in a very special way without having to get into the complexities of a relationship-focused partner sex. For some of my readers, this may seem unbelievable. For others, maybe the larger question is whether ANY 19-year-old college freshman, if so motivated to do so, could find (and enjoy) this special place.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Why has all of this remained hidden and secretive? Why can’t guys simply go to a bookstore (or look on line) and learn what they need to know about all of this? There are an enormous number of myths surrounding all of this, starting with the masturbation myths, going all the way back to early Boy Scout manuals.

1. Masturbation defined as any release of sexual tension that does not involve a partner, is evil, sinful, or worse.
2. Anyone who masturbates is immature automatically lacks basic social skills necessary to find a partner in order to have “real sex”.
3. If a guy masturbates, that’s an indicator that he is gay not straight.
4. Masturbation is something that might be tolerable for guys aged 11-14, but by age 15 he should be getting sexual pleasure from interacting with a partner. It’s all just part of growing up. As a guy gets older, interest in masturbating should dissipate as partner-sex takes over his life. If this does not happen, say, by the time a guy becomes the age of a college freshman, the guy has psychosexual issues and has not “matured” properly. (This myth forces many older teens into relationships they don’t really want or need at that stage in their lives.)


Then there is an equally complicated set of issues that involve sexual tension in part brought on by wearing snug-fitting clothing of various sorts. The so-called sex experts seem to not want to deal with this possibility at all, or if they do, it goes down as part of abnormal psychology in the category “fetish” which is loosely defined as any sexual response to an inanimate object such as a piece of clothing, never mind whether the item comes in contact with the penis or not. The experts seem to want to toss all of this into the same box—that anything that does not directly involve being turned on by a partner is somehow weird, abnormal and sick.

Guys know better, but they generally haven’t told the sex experts about what they are doing to (and for) themselves. In part, they are too embarrassed, given the low opinion most of the sex experts have of guys having sexual pleasure in the absence of a partner. Such an idea can’t be “real” sex, or can it?

This in turn all gets bogged down in the question of what is or is not real sex? “Real” is a synonym for partner? Is oral sex real sex? Must real sex involve a penis being contained by another human being? This all gets really complicated to define.

So, at an early age, guys learn that touching and rubbing their penises induces some very pleasurable sensations, sensations that are great fun so long as the activity can be done without anyone else discovering what they are doing, which is embarrassing and a whole lot more.

Not long after that, many, perhaps most guys learn that there are certain items of snug-fitting clothing that feel really good if they come in contact with their penises. So good, in fact, that they result in stuff happening that the guy was conditioned to think would happen only in the presence of a sexual partner. Psychologically and sexually, this is deep stuff. Guys are not only amazed to discover this, but generally terrified at the same time once they discover this

Generally speaking, any piece of snug-fitting clothing could set this all off, but it helps if the fit is quite snug and the fabric quite smooth.

The classic example here of a garment that does this is the Lycra® blend swim brief. Snug-fitting? Absolutely! Fits especially snug right on the penis? For sure!

But this quickly becomes complicated. I suspect that a lot of guys, maybe most, would like to own a snug-fitting swim brief just to “play around in” but not necessarily to appear in public or swim in, but they don’t know how to pull this off without getting detected as to what they are really up to.

If the guy is 14 years old, the first thing the guy would need to do is explain to his parents why he would want to own such a garment assuming he is not a member of the high school swim team.

Then there is the problem that if he does get to purchase such a garment, what exactly happens to his body as a consequence. For swim team members ‘trying on” swim briefs for the first time in the gym locker room, something terrible might happen—as in an out-of-control erection or worse. This is all uncharted territory. Better to experiment at home first, in front of a mirror, bedroom door closed. But what if it turns out that the guy really likes the brief, and putting it on becomes his favorite way to masturbate? Good luck with that one, for certain.

In my view, most guys have something of a love-hate relationship with skimpy swim briefs. Many guys would like to try wearing one just to see how it feels and how their bodies might respond to the new situation, but they can’t figure out a way to pull this off without embarrassing questions being asked about what they are doing and why.

As guys get older but still single, opportunities increasingly present themselves to try some things, say, as a college freshman, that they thought might be interesting but they didn’t dare attempt before they got to college. A great myth is that most male college freshmen are in a relationship with a female partner involving sex, and that provides everything they “need” in that regard. Nothing could be further from the truth in that regard. Junior or Senior, maybe, but most freshmen are still finding in their way in the relationship department, if at all.

Which brings us back to Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh. The four of them have been experimenting with stuff that has been interesting but does not involve partner sex. A lot of this involves snug-fitting items of clothing in various ways. The twist here is that each of the four of them at some level understands not only what the experiment is and that the others in the group are at some level involved in a very similar experiment.

The four of them have also discovered that nothing each of them is doing is bad or dangerous in any way. The whole idea of enjoying oneself in a special way is a wonderful part of being a guy, and to somehow feel that one needs to keep this as a closely guarded secret is no longer essential.

Do these four guys have a relationship or series of relationships going on under these circumstances? Are the four guys deep down each gay not straight at some level? Or would many if not most guys like to be in the situation each of them is currently experiencing?

All of these are really interesting questions for sure.

To be continued…..

[Lap Counter]

My observation is that many more guys seem to own Speedos than are willing to admit it.

[sebbie]

I suppose that nearly every guy learns at a very early age, shortly after puberty if not before, how wonderful penis are as organs of the male anatomy. Just touching or rubbing the penis can give what seem to be some very strange but also very pleasant sensations. The complicated part of course is the exact linkage between the strange and wonderful sensations and the appearance and size of the penis. Oddly enough, sometimes the strange but wonderful sensations and feelings happen even as the penis seems to be doing nothing at all, size or hardness-wise. At other times, everything seems to be focused on getting bigger and harder to the extent that the other stuff going on gets pushed into the background. What gives here anyway? Is this all normal and commonplace, or is every guy unique? How would any guy go about finding the answer to that question?

Guys are frequently stumped by what is happening to themselves and their bodies. For starters, when a guy gets an unintended erection often at an unexpected and inconvenient time or place and starts to feel pressure in his brain to jerk off, is it a good idea to find a private place, say a stall or a locked bathroom, and relieve himself. Or should the guy simply try as best he can to try to ignore the situation in the fervent hope that the problem will simply go away if he directs his attention to some non-sexual thoughts or intentionally tries to take his mind off the obvious? Younger guys always keep wondering if their male classmates or roommates encounter the same problem but never quite dare ask something that personal.

Snug-fitting clothing of the various kinds I have mentioned in this story add a new and complicated element for a lot of guys. By the time a guy gets to a point in his life where he wants or needs to wear some of these items, he has no doubt already discovered that a. his penis is quite sensitive to touching and rubbing, and b. Smooth and snug fitting (commonly Lycra® blend fabrics merely sliding against the exterior walls of the penis can on their own induce some warm and wonderful sensations. Nearly every guy probably wonders if he is the only guy in the world who has discovered this, or whether it is common for guys to face the same “problem”. On one hand, this is neat, because these clothing items are usually and snug enough to induce some sensations that the guy had previously only felt by overtly rubbing his penis from glans to base.

But this quickly becomes very complicated. If the particular clothing item is a little swim brief or even a pair of snug-fitting jammers, if these sensations are happening basically without any touching at all, what happens if, well, a guy quickly ends up with what be known in slang as a serious boner or hard on? First off, these garments are made to fit snug and tight. Swimmers need minimum drag in the water. Wrestlers need to wear garments that give the opponent minimal opportunity to get a hold, and loose-fitting cloth would work against that for sure. But, that being the case, if a guy gets a boner wearing any of these it is going to be immediately apparent to anyone around, and particularly swimming or wrestling in a public contest in front of a bleacher audience. Worse, what if the boner quickly turns into a giant wet spot of slimy semen dribbling all over the garment swim brief, jammer, wrestling singlet etc.? This does not ordinarily happen in public sport, at least not frequently, which suggests that most guys who wear clothing like this for sport probably fairly quickly get “used” to the feeling or are able to hide their urges, but still.

Then there is the matter of the old school jock straps, aka athletic supporters. A lot of guys are terrified the first time they get into one of these because they have no real clue as to how their anatomy will “react” to being placed in such a confined space. Just the thought of being forced to wear one of these for sports sends many guys into a something of a new situation. The hard protective cup adds a new dilemma for a lot of guys. By the time a guy needs to try this he pretty well knows how big he is both flaccid and fully erect. Some guys assume that the trick is to find a cup big enough to contain the maximum sized anatomy, As in, pick the XL size. But giant cups are not the best for protecting the anatomy. A well fitting cup will be just large enough to contain the guy’s flaccid anatomy. After all, during a contact sport the guy’s mind should be focused on the game not on his own body, anyway. Coaches would certainly think that way.

But that begs the question of what happens if and when a guy’s anatomy gets just big enough to barely fit inside the contained space. The poor guy is not likely to break the hard cup with a still bigger and harder erection. Besides, a lot of guys discover that it is really tough to ejaculate inside a hard cup even if the guy wanted to do this. The cup” protects the penis from being stroked. Still, with the penis gently pressing against the walls of the cup, it is also sending some very pleasant sensations back to the brain. Wearing a snug-fitting strap and cup can be a most enjoyable experience for a lot of guys, even if they are not involved in a sport that specifically requires one. The sensations can be fascinating and fun…maybe an enjoyable way to spend a leisurely afternoon or evening. One could try doing this for an afternoon, and then follow that up with a private masturbation self-pleasuring session to orgasm, for example, as one approach.

I have not forgotten about the four guys Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh, who are now involved in playing with all of this on their own and simply enjoying what is happening to themselves and their bodies. But the four of them have also been having some fun times together. At this point, each of them must know something of what the others have been up to in this regard.

To be continued….

[sebbie]

Guys generally see all of this with mixed reactions amazement coupled with a bit of uncertainty, fear and befuddlement. What I have been talking about is not found in college courses dealing with human sexuality nor in any of the commonly seem sex therapist manual. Even studies that claim to have exhaustively analyzed male sexuality in all its forms generally come up short.

Maybe things are simpler then I am making them out to be. Maybe guys past puberty have sexual encounters with females, and this supplies them with the sexual outlet that they need at that point in life. Maybe guys buy the time they reach college age are having sex so regularly with a favorite partner that anything else (commonly known as solo sex) simply gets pushed out of the entire picture, never to again return. Is it really like that?

Maybe guys never pleasure themselves in their cramped dorm rooms, or, if they do, this only happens when it is certain that the roommate has gone home for the weekend. Maybe these subjects never come up between male college students. But guys in their late teens and early 20s sometimes do things that they might not do either earlier in life or later. Is this not just one of the items on the list? Are the rules that apply in this regard the same ones that applied in high school, or are they now more flexible? These are all interesting questions to ponder.

Let’s see, where were we? Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh getting to wear various clothing items that fit really snug, and are surely bound to lead to arousal and erection assuming they have not completely lost the sensations coming from their groin area. Chances are, each of them has surreptitiously experimented with this long before they got into college. The tricky part about these experiments is in figuring out a way to run the experiments without being detected by a parent, sibling or, god-forbid, a peer class member.

What is the exact “problem” here, the universal problem all post-pubescent guys must face? Shortly after puberty, guys learn from various sources that the only time and place considered acceptable to be aroused is in a relationship with a partner, and from the standpoint of most, a partner of the opposite sex. Anything else that might happen with respect to this is considered to be in some manner unacceptable, unacceptable to the point of the guy being teased and bullied.

But every post pubescent guy is fully aware of the fact that “stuff happens”, and stuff happens in times, places and in situations that do not involve a female partner. Besides, what is a young teenager doing getting involved sexually with a partner as a young teen anyway? More problems and dilemmas to face.

It is surprising that most guys make it through puberty with as few psychosexual scars as they do. It does not take long for every guy to find out that sexual arousal, erection and then the big event, orgasm, are all fun, really fun, the kinds of events that make being a guy such an unbeatable experience. (Can young girls POSSIBLY be having this much fun with THEIR bodies at the same age?)

Then there is the matter of all the goofy fluids. Guys quickly figure out what an orgasm (creaming) is and exactly what the sensations are that lead to orgasm. Understanding this is necessary learning if a guy is ever going to have a degree of control over when and under what exact circumstances he ejaculates. Guys quickly learn that ejaculate is a creamy off-white fluid, not clear and to associate that with having an orgasm, getting a girl pregnant, and all of that.

But then there is the matter of precum, and what that all means and why it happens the way it does. Guys might notice that sometimes a clear, viscous fluid forms in drops at the very end of the penis, but particularly when a sexual thought crosses the mind. This seems really strange, as if a guy, perhaps sexually a bit tense but not erect at all, starts to drip viscous drops of clear fluid. Initially, guys associate this occurrence with the initial stages of an erection leading to orgasm (creaming). But guys soon learn that they can precum for a long period of time without going into erection or orgasm.

Precumming (aka juicing) just seems to happen without conscious control of any sort. Something triggers it, of course, and what that something is might be is the most interesting part. Guys fully dressed can usually tell in an instant whether or not they are precumming because the damp spot forming on whatever undergarment they are wearing will be a quite noticeable. Usually not enough precum forms to stain the fly of, say, a pair of jeans, though some guys worry about this possibility too.

This brings me back around to the guys wearing snug-fitting clothing of various kinds, especially for the first time. Obviously a snug fitting Lycra® (blend) item (Swim brief, Jammer, Wrestling singlet) is going to present more issues in this regard than, say an outer garment such as a pair of jeans. Any precum stain when a guy is wearing one of these items might immediately show up as a stain in exactly the “wrong” place. What if the guy is in public when this happens. It’s not as if the guy can shut down precumming at will, and this in itself poses a dilemma.
Even worse, perhaps, the guy has probably discovered that the sensations that happen when he is precumming are certainly sweet, if not quite as mind blowing as a full-scale orgasm, still certainly worthy of paying attention to and enjoying.

Then there is the problem that specific clothing items that seem to “stimulate” all of this, that is, getting into a mode whereby the guy is precumming, perhaps profusely. Lycra® blend swim briefs are certainly number one on this list, at least for most guys. I maintain that the fear of wearing swim briefs for a lot of guys is not so much out of the fear of immediately getting a firm and big erection leading right to orgasm (well, maybe for only the FIRST time), but the fear that the guy will start to precum leaving quarter-sized and larger damp stains right at where the tip of his penis resides in the brief. The sheer HORROR of this possibility drives guys away from wearing the garment.

The same goes for the fear of snug-fitting wrestling singlets and jammers. Guys think they have a degree of control over when they get hard and ejaculate, but the precumming ooze seems to be completely outside of conscious control. This scares guys.

WHICH clothing items “do” this to (or for) a guy? That is an interesting question, and one that probably varies from one guy to another. The other complicating factor is that precumming is a lot of fun, and if there are garments that help to keep the fun going, there will be at least some guys interested in finding and on occasion wearing these garments. If guys were truthful to themselves, they already know which specific clothing items “do it” for them. The mere thought of shopping for or ordering the garment should start the precum flowing, collecting in whatever undergarment the guy is wearing. The sheer fun of buying and then getting into a garment the guy pretty much knows is going to do this to him cannot be underestimated.

This brings us back to Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh, who have been messing around with this exactly, and, in a sense, playing with their own bodies and psychology in ways that they would have never dared or had the occasion to try when they were still in high school. Their willingness to push forward in this regard should be applauded, even as they discover new ways to enjoy themselves and the company of each other in ways they had not previously experienced.

All is well with the four of them.

To be continued….

[sebbie]

As any guy in his teens probably knows, in your late teens it is entirely possible to get an erection leading into a full scale orgasm without any physical touching or rubbing happening. Furthermore, it is easy for this to happen in an unexpected or difficult-to-explain situation, say a situation that does not involve fantasizing, say, about having sex with a female partner. Every guy knows and probably has had dreams involving a sexual situation that leads to an erection during the night and probably an orgasm.

Dreams are very strange, oftentimes. What a guy thinks about during the day is constrained within conscious thought, but in dreams, all the “rules” suddenly come apart. For example, a guy who thinks he is “perfectly straight” during the day, at least, may very well end up being involved sexually with another guy within a dream. Dreams simply do not follow the rules that apply when a guy is awake.

The fact that dreams can go anywhere and do not abide by the daytime “rules” makes many guys very uncomfortable. They start to think that what happens in dreams, out-of-control or not, communicates the “truth”, for example, about sexual orientation. A guy who “acts” straight when awake may be focused on other guys partly or exclusively during a nighttime dream, and worse, whatever same-sex interest may very well end with the guy suddenly awake and having a powerful orgasm.

Do these dreams mean the guy whereby this happens is actually gay not straight, and is actually fooling himself as well as others when he claims to be perfectly straight? That is a most interesting question, I think, and one that I have never been able to satisfactorily answer. The only thing I can conclude is that dreams are sometimes, perhaps often, built around story lines that represent what a guy would like to try to do sexually but for whatever reason cannot.

Dreams with a sex-related storyline are commonplace for nearly every guy. Nearly every guy worries if dreams turn out to follow an unanticipated story line and in particular a story line that others (peers, siblings) might not approve. But these others aren’t going to know anything if a guy keeps his mouth shut about what just happened.

Then there is the issue of story lines that are erotic, leading to an erection and a “nocturnal emission” (I love that term, as it sounds so clinical), but the story line has nothing to do with engaging in sex with a partner, male or female. What is with these dreams, anyway?
One example would be a guy who in a dream decides to go out to a store and purchase a skimpy little swim brief for his first time. The dreamer finds a rack of swim briefs in a sporting goods store and starts to sort through the sizes, colors and sizes. As the dream proceeds, the dreamer sees a particular swim brief that is particularly skimpy and colorful. He decides that before he purchases the brief, which the price tag says $28, he had better at least try it on. So he locates and goes into the store changing room, and removes his clothing in a tiny space lined with mirrors. At this point he is not only feeling way horny, the size of his penis says that he is near an orgasm, and he hasn’t even gotten the brief on. He is already worried about how to get in and out of the brief without creating a total mess, but it is way too late. He pulls the brief on, takes one look at himself and how his penis looks and there is no stopping a powerful orgasm spilling semen all over the new swim brief. Suddenly the dreamer wakes and, still in bed, he bursts into a most powerful orgasm. The dreamer has the emotions of unbridled sexual fun, pure enjoyment, accompanied by total terror.

What does this dream mean, anyway? Worse, what if this is one of those dreams that happens frequently, say, every week or so? Should the guy be somehow concerned that the dream doesn’t contain a “proper” storyline involving having sex with a female partner? Is this dream the basics of something the guy would like to try doing in real life? What gives, anyway?

Or, what about the locker room athletic supporter “jock strap” dream. In this dream, the dreamer is just starting to participate in a contact sport that requires a strap and cup (Coaches orders). The plot line thickens, because in the dream the first time the guy is going to get a chance to be in the strap and cup will be in the guy’s locker room at the next practice. The school is actually buying the straps and cups for the players and coach will be passing them out for wear at the next practice. The complicating thing about this dream is that all the guys, the dreamer’s peers, will be in the locker room basically doing the same thing—that is, trying on a little jock strap with a cup in the clear view of all the other guys in the locker room. A lot of guys who are having difficulty with this situation realize that their peers might also be facing the same “problem”. The problem, of course is how can the dreamer keep from getting erect in this novel situation, and what happens to me once the cup is (firmly) in place? Dare the dreamer take furtive glances at the groins of the other guys in an effort to see what is happening to them under similar circumstance and what difficulties they might be facing? If the dreamer finds himself doing this, taking furtive glances at his peers and their respective groin areas, does that mean he is actually gay not straight?

As might be expected, a teen guy with a full-scale erection forcing himself into a seemingly undersized strap and cup is not going to be able to hold back a powerful orgasm for very long. The dreamer suddenly awakens and discovers that he is just at the start of a powerful “spontaneous” orgasm (nocturnal emission), an orgasm that was not spontaneous at all but a direct consequence of the story line with what turns into a path that is quite erotic. What does this all mean for the dreamer, anyway?
This brings the story back to the four college freshmen, Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh. Maybe the four of them are getting their first real opportunities to act out events that occurred on a recurring basis in their dreams, dreams that may have started at puberty, or even before. Maybe the items that they purchased or ordered online are very similar to items that played a recurring role in dreams with plots similar to those outlined above. None of this involves partner sex, at least not directly, but that is part of what makes it all so interesting.

Are dreams and fantasies like these commonplace among guys, or relatively rare? If a guys interested in seeing how my male peers might respond to wearing a swim brief or a jock strap with a cup and exactly what happens to their bodies, does that mean the guy deep down is gay not straight, or is this interest commonplace for the vast majority of guys who find it interesting to see how other guys cope with the situation at hand.

These are big questions, and questions that are difficult to answer with any degree of certainty.

To be continued…
 

[sebbie]

Guys are very fortunate, in many ways far more fortunate than they realize. There are many parts of the male body that are more sensitive/sexually active/erotic than many guys realize, and this often becomes a learning experience that can last an entire lifetime.

Most guys at puberty are in a situation where they know almost nothing about all of this. Early on they have but a vague understanding that when certain body parts are stroked or even touched, the sensations feel very good. Only gradually do guys begin to put together an understanding of the complexities of the system. But learning about all of this is the key to enjoying yourself as a guy.

There are a few male body parts not on the penis proper that stand out for me as being both important in this regard and missed or underestimated as erotic hot spots by a lot of guys. I’ve often thought that the urge to/enjoyment from getting a big hard-on coupled with a powerful orgasm is so overwhelming for a lot of guys that they never quite learn to appreciate the more subtle aspects of male eroticism. This same information applies to a situation whereby you are having sex by yourself or with a partner.

Some of you may be just a bit bothered by the fact that I just put experiments with solo sex up there in the same league as experiments with partner sex. I know that this may seems strange or odd to some if not most of you as you are coming from a frame of reference that says there is no way masturbation can be put on equal footing with partner sex from the standpoint of pure erotic enjoyment: That is the relationship with another person is the real key to the sheer enjoyment of sex.

Let me hold that thought for a bit, and perhaps I can come back to it in a later chapter. For now, I want my readers to think about the best solo sex experience that you have ever had, and, more importantly , what in your own mind made that particular solo sex experience so profound?

Then, think about the four characters in the story, Josh, Dylan, Bill and Joe and what each of them have been doing to their bodies while claiming that they were just engaging in a workout at the gym.

Let me start with Josh, first. Let me see, what was Josh wearing? That’s right, the little Desmiit ® thong with the forest green wrestling singlet over.
The perineum area of the male body, located between the scrotum and the anus, is a real hot spot sexually for guys, but this is one of these things a lot of guys do not learn until they are older, if at all. The beauty of a properly fitting male thong of the correct size is that it should put a lot of direct upward pressure on the exact spot that feels so good when the direct pressure is applied. With a thong that fits correctly, the back, be it an elastic cord or a narrow band of elastic, will tend to cinch up between the glutes. Guys who have never tried this soon discover that the entire area between the glutes is what I would characterize as being sexually active.

Combine this with a stationary rowing machine at the gym, which requires guys to engage iin strokes. With each stroke of the rowing machine, the thong gives an exquisite tug that applies a little additional pressure to the perineum area even as the thong back cinches itself a bit deeper between the glutes. Each stroke of the rowing machine becomes a not-to-be-missed erotic experience.

Or think about Dylan’s “predicament “of being contained inside a skimpy swim brief. This may seem at first to be less erotic than the situation Josh is facing, but Dylan also has to face the sensations from a strap and cup bearing down at the same time on his swim brief contained penis. Penises like to grow to the exact space that they have available, which means that shortly, the cup will be bearing down on three sides of Dylan’s penis. Dylan’s penis quickly becomes “aware” of the confining situation it finds itself in, but likes the slick feel of the swim brief within the confined space.

Or consider both Bill and Joe, each wearing thongs that are doing interesting things to the perineum, getting hit by the sensations of the thong back wedging itself between the glutes. Then each is also wearing a jock with a cup bearing down at it all, with everything cinched up even snugger because of the compression shorts, while each of them is attempting to run on treadmills.

As the afternoon wears on, all of this is liable to get tougher and topugher to deal with, but gradually also provide more and more erotic fun. As events proceed, a guys mind being subjected to one of these combinations becomes more and more focused on the need to get off. But, of course, this is impractical given where each of the guys is. Getting off may have to wait some more. The unrelieved pressure to ejaculate just keeps building and building.

Now, what happens to a guy psychologically when he starts to realize that there are three other guys who are in a very erotic predicament like this that is very similar to the one he is in? Does this knowledge add to the fun? Back in High school the four of them would have been terrified to try something like this. Outcomes are just too uncertain. But now, the four of them are in college, and the rules that apply seem to have changed. This is terrific fun with equal parts mixed sheer sexual torment.

I assume many of my readers would be open to trading places with one of them, but the interesting question is “Which one”?

To be continued…

[sebbie]

As any guy has probably quickly learned, exciting sexual tension involves a combination of the psychological (thoughts) and the physical (touching). Furthermore, guys quickly learn that the psychological frequently involves not only what will happen, sexually, but even what could possibly happen.

The human brain, male and female, seems to be equipped with an early warning system that springs into action very quickly, in the case of a guy, often long before any even partial erection takes place. A lot of guys seem mystified with respect to how male bodies work in this regard, but still confront this on a regular basis, perhaps as frequently as several times a day. Guys frequently have difficulty dealing with this if it involves thoughts relating to a potential female partner. Coming of age movies generally are built around plots that deal with exactly this.

For gay males, this becomes even more difficult in part because the guy may not want to admit to himself that he has these male-centered erotic thoughts, let alone come out and explain what is going on to others, perhaps the most terrifying being how non-gay male peers might react. It doesn’t help that many males are terrified of the possibility of a sexual encounter with another male (perhaps because they have a gay streak, themselves) and outcomes in this regard are quite unpredictable. This is why gay males have to be very careful when other males of unknown sexual orientation are nearby.

Complicating all of this still further is the widely held belief by some (claimed as macho) males that any guy who engages in solo sex, if not gay, is certainly a social outcast who will never find a female sexual partner. This leads to ”I saw you masturbating and told all my friends what I saw you doing “teasing and bullying. This to me is one of the saddest aspects of male sexuality as it exists in most societies.

I know that some of my readers are wondering what is with Dylan, Josh, Bill and Joe, anyway? Are these four guys who will never be with a female partner, or, horror of horrors, enjoying their own bodies along with their swim briefs, thongs, straps, cups, wrestling singlets and compression gear more than they ever would than having a sexual encounter with a partner. What gives with these four guys anyway? From a writer’s perspective, keeping this possibility going is part of the fun of setting up the reader.

A central theme of this entire story has been the idea that guys can have a lot of fun sexually and psychologically without having to deal with the additional complications that partner sex brings on, and this is true irrespective of whether you think you are straight, gay or of a sexual orientation in which you are uncertain.

If you stop and think about it what I have just said is quite profound. I think I just said that sexual pleasure is something that every guy can tap into and enjoy irrespective of whether or not the guy has a partner.

But all of this goes even deeper than that. By the time a guy reaches the age of a young college student such as the four of them in the story, he has probably experienced a number of instances, perhaps many, whereby sexual arousal (to orgasm or not), occurred in the absence of any thoughts about being with a partner. Again, many guys are reluctant to admit that their personal sexual wiring works that way. In the case of the “straight” male there is this (macho) view that the only acceptable psychosexual thought are those that relate directly to being with a female partner, and any thoughts that lead elsewhere need to be banished. Many gay males seem to operate with a variation of this, in the belief that real sex involves a direct physical encounter with another male.

But, if this were true for both straight and gay males, what of four college students who go shopping at a big-box sporting goods store for items that they know are going to be tough to wear without getting aroused in and soon after a hard on? Are these guys somehow deviant from a sexual perspective? Or what of four college guys who start ordering items on line that they are pretty sure are going to be difficult to wear without getting aroused? And then, what happens, once the items arrive to the dorm rooms? Is getting into these items a solo activity or can your male roommate be present? Will the male roommate be put off by this if he watches, or will he perhaps secretly think that he would love to be able to do exactly the same thing? What if a guy enjoys playing with himself in this way “too much”, and never progresses to a physical relationship with a partner? Is this a real problem or issue?

And what of all this talk about the notion that it is important for a guy who is sexually aroused be able to restrain himself from going into full-scale orgasm mode? A general truth is that the longer a guy can remain aroused without blowing, the more enjoyable the entire situation is going to be, and the more exciting, powerful and enjoyable the orgasm will be when it finally does happen.
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The problem, of course, is that guys grow up learning how to go into full-scale orgasm mode quickly, so as to minimize the probability that the guy will be discovered and end up in a potentially embarrassing situation. Many guys quickly become experts in rapid covert masturbation. But the four college guys appear to be at least be past that idea.
Then there is the problem of sex in relationships, whereby slower steaminess is almost invariably better sex than anything that happens in a hurry. But guys up until that point were focused on speedy solo sex. All of that has to be somehow unlearned, and quickly, for the sake of the relationship lasting, be it straight or gay.

One way of visualizing what the four college guys have been doing is that they are unlearning a lot of what they learned masturbating in a hurry when they were younger. Unless the four guys are completely brain dead, there is no way the four guys are not each going to be somewhat aroused given what they are wearing, but even for a guy to admit that can be somewhat unnerving.

Still, the male body is brilliantly set up with an early warning system programmed to provide the necessary information even if the guy is nowhere near being erect and hard. That is all the precumming and Cowper’s gland stuff. If precum is forming a damp spot on the tip of a guy’s erect penis, something important sexually is happening. This could possibly quickly lead to an erection and maybe an orgasm, or the entire situation could just sit and “simmer” for many minutes, perhaps hours. Just simmering there oozing viscous clear drops of precum is a very enjoyable sexual experience, not one to be denied. Where each of them takes this after they get back from the gym to the dorm rooms is unclear, except to say that the urge to ejaculate has been slowly but steadily building even as the guys engage in their respective exercise programs as arousal is helped along in happening by wearing the various garments.

And, assuming that each of the four is going to want to engage in partner sex, this “simmering” experience is going to work to undo the damage done as younger guys learned how to get this over quickly to minimize the possibility of being discovered masturbating. So what is happening here is important from a future partner sex perspective even if what has been going on does not now involve sex with a partner.

Female partners do not normally complain to their guy that he needs to get to the orgasm part more quickly. Indeed, quite the opposite. For gay males, the challenges in this regard cannot be different. Would a gay male prefer a partner who gets off quickly, or one who can tolerate a lot of stimulation while still holding back an orgasm? So, straight or gay, this works for both in partner sex.

To be continued….