Slate Article: Why Are Guys Afraid to Wear Speedos?

[Byron]

Yes - never could understand why important parts of the male anatomy should be unwanted rubbish to go in the trash can.
Plenty of examples of usage to be found but no indication of this particular derivation (it being also heroin and a chinese boat of course).
Middle English jonk had a particular nautical definition - it was old rope or cable being reused on a ship - but again something worn out and useless for original purpose and so inappropriate for its frequent use now in the anatomical sense.

[Torchwatch]

When I lived in High Wycombe I discovered a community of Indians whose men wore trousers (pants) with loincloth flaps over the front and back, providing greater modesty for the private parts. This attempt of modesty actually drew attention to what it was attempting to hide.
Those that swim in huge baggy shorts in an attempt to modestly hide their junk, actually draw attention to it through false modesty.
Go swimming in Speedos and after a few minutes you will forget what you are wearing as you concentrate on gliding smoothly through the water. Those watching may assess your figure and costume, then concentrate on your swimming style.

[SwimTeamSpeedo]

All these stories on "speedos" make me laugh. I have never understood why so many guys who wear Speedos or other brief swimwear are so hung up about whether other guys should or should not be wearing the same thing. I don't really care if I am the only guy on a beach in a brief swimsuit and if someone doesn't like my swimsuit of choice then don't look. I actually like that my swimwear is not common and I am breaking the norm of most guys. Likewise I could care less if some guys wear boardies to swim or whatever. Their choice. Frankly, I like how some guys look in boardies and I like some of the more colorful ones.

I also can't get over how some folks are all hung up on whether or not someone can see your bulge. If my bulge bothers someone, guess what...every guy has one. Get over it. And no, I do not call my anatomy junk. Never understood that.

It is a swimsuit. Wear it or not. To each their own.

[Byron]

Have to agree - this constant anxt seems to be part of a strange cultural taboo
and denying what nature creates on the skeleton of all males for procreation of the species. Females have two breasts and make no attempt, as far as I am aware, to flatten them out of existence (far from it when itsy-bitsy triangles of fabric are so favored).
We should have advanced in thinking by now but we are in regression - medieval man had a much freer time of it with an obvious codpiece in his costume.

As for Tw's Indian community in High Wycombe there are also many males in the Amazon jungle who keep things simple with just a string at the waistline and
no more.

[Torchwatch]

The Amazonian natives who wore just a string about their waists said on documentaries that it identified them as human, differentiating themselves from the animals.
In England until well into the reign of Elizabeth I a vagrant in a town could be flogged or executed. The vagrants unable to find work or food ended up starving and naked on the heaths. Anyone travelling between towns faced being robbed and perhaps murdered by the vagrants. Even in the 20th Century those arrested for indecent exposure were charged under the Vagrancy Act.
Today to be seen as a citizen and not a vagrant you need money (cash and credit cards), identification (driving/ers licence), keys (to home and transport) and of late a mobile phone. To carry this lot you need a wallet and pockets, even if you take all the stuff out of your pockets to swim in the sea, the pockets are still symbolic of the items removed, in the same way that a string around the waist is symbolic of access to stone age technology.
Put on your speedos, swim or walk out of sight of your pile of clothes and you become a vagrant with no visible means of support; no identity, money, transport or home. As a speedo lover you are happy with this, you don't need all the junk you left in your pockets to be able to be yourself. However many others do, next time you are in a bar look out for the guys who display their identity in a little pile in front of them on the table; the cigarettes, lighter, mobile phone and car keys. Without all this junk for all to see they would become nobodies, and the bigger, baggier and "pocketier" their board shorts become the more somebody they feel they are.

[Byron]

...all board short wearers suffer a massive inferiority complex ?

(interesting observation - have to agree about the goods on the table - the car keys should preferably have attached a fob of a prestigious marque of course).

Btw how did the canny Scots learn about the sporran ? - there is both a container for the valuables and a frontal protection of the valuable junk in one.

[SwimTeamSpeedo]

maybe they just wear board shorts because they like them. Hmmmm.

[Byron]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/rugby-...-beach-2007642

I thought I would post this to emphasise the male/female difference.
If the Lions were having their recreation time on the beach wouldn't it be nice if they were left alone to wear their own speedos (if they so wished) ?
But no - regulation black shorts rule and they all conform and all are of the Adidas brand of course so every appearance is no doubt strictly governed by sponsorship contracts. Is there any sport in the world where that company has not penetrated to create a near monopoly? ( I am beginning to wonder how soon it is before no swimwear will be allowed at all on even public beaches unless it is one of their products).

[Byron]

Sydney Roosters RFC seem to have the right idea:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uWfZcyLQ_6...y+Roosters.jpg

[singletlover]

I repeat: I cannot understand why we call it junk. I throw out junk that I do not want anymore.

My penis and testicals have been with me a long time and would never throw them out.