Thoughts on just being a guy

[sebbie]

Just doin’ exactly what the other guys are doing!

The desire to wear a tight-fitting garment that will encase the penis and balls is nearly universal for males. Exactly what the desired garment is ( a swim brief, compression shorts or tights, snug-fitting underwear made of a stretchy slick material, etc etc) varies from one guy to another, but nearly every guy has some “interest” in the whole idea.

The tricky part always in not that but other considerations. This all gets intertwined with a guy’s feelings about who he is from the standpoint of sexual orientation. But, more importantly, what other guys might CONCLUDE about which sex I am attracted to based on what they see me wearing. I have never seen sexual orientation as being a 0-1 kind of thing—as in either I am gay or I am not. Still, I realize that a lot of guys think that as teens, being somehow identified as gay will lead to a lot of bullying by the purportedly “straight” guys. And it is not my ACTIONS that convinced the bullies but rather what I am wearing. Of course, for better or worse, swim briefs are often associated with the idea that this is something a gay guy would wear so it is best that I never be seen wearing one!

But then, wearing compression shorts, another commonly worn tight fitting garment, is commonplace among the athletes in a lot of different sports—professional team sports that pay millions of dollars to many players. Are these guys all gay too? Stuff like this raises more issues with respect to trying to tie what a guy wears to cover his groin to his sexual orientation. And the other obvious example is high school swim teams, where nowadays some are wearing briefs but others jammers, the jammers purportedly the bullies who engage in doing this are less “gay” I guess. A swimmer who wears a jammer will not be bullied but a swimmer wearing a brief might be!

I have been digging around on the Internet in an effort to unravel all of this. Water Polo is a sport that commonly is found at high schools in states on the coast (probably most often in California and Florida) but would not be a typical high school sport in most landlocked states. And the teams seem to be most common in what I would call “well to do” communities. Nationally, a high school swim team is much more common than a high school water polo team.

Many high school swim teams give swimmers a choice of wearing a brief or a jammer and currently we see a lot of interschool contests where there are some are wearing each style. However, in the case of water polo, there is no choice!

Water polo is a different story entirely. If a guy is going to play on a water polo team for the school, he must wear the team water polo swim brief. And having identical briefs made with the school logo is a big deal for building team “unity”. Because of what happens underwater in the sport, the brief must fit as snug as possible, so the opposing team cannot grab your brief and pull you down. So tight and small is good, and still tighter and smaller is better.

In order to be part of the team, a new player must be able to get his head around the idea that this will require him to wear something that is quite skimpy. But that is going to be OK because all the other guys are going to be doing the same thing. Surely a water polo player is not going to be bullied by a teammate wearing exactly the same suit. Besides it’s a chance to hang out with a bunch of other guys who are all good with this.

I suspect the teams annually place an order for new suits to be worn at meets during the year. I also suspect that the senior members of the team have a lot to say about the exact cut, color and fit of the new suits. The choice is made partly to intimidate the other teams they well be playing but also seves as a way of intimidating the new, younger players on the team as to whether or not they really want to be part of the team. As in, in order to be on the team you have to do this part like the upperclassmen are able to do. Are you able to do this and proudly wear the suit with the team logo on it?

Of course, water polo players must first be good swimmers so the idea of wearing a swim brief like this may be quite simple. Still, it is a chance to hang out with other guys who are quite OK with all of this as an important part of being on the team.

I have noticed that fewer and fewer swim teams take team photos on their members as they appear wearing briefs or even jammers. The team photos I see that show all the guys in briefs generally have some age on them.

But this is not true for the water polo teams. These teams seem to revel in the idea of taking photos with every guy clad in the official team swim brief, and some of these are really skimpy and snug-fitting.

To illustrate, here are three examples I found of Water Polo teams. Each appears to be the team from a water polo team a high school serving a generally wealthy coastal town.
https://www.vhstigers.org/apps/pages...REC_ID=1350215

https://www.ndhs.org/athletics/teams...s/water-polo-b

https://3.files.edl.io/b0cc/18/10/30...c679cecc0d.jpg


Twenty years from now these guys will look back on this time and say to themselves “It was great fun hanging out with these guys.” They might have also kept the water polo suit that they wore then as a souvenir and reminder of the wonderful days they spent with their teammates back then.

[sebbie]

Just Enjoying Myself

Sexually, every guy is wired a bit differently with respect to what he enjoys doing. But this is particularly true when a guy is dealing with self-pleasuring or solo sex. Guy’s have an array of options available to them with respect to how a jerk-off session should proceed with respect to the specific ways a guy can do things with, to and by himself. The whole subject often is kept very hidden for an assortment of reasons. Young guys feel that they will be teased and bullied if any of their peers find out what they are doing, as in, if a guy is caught masturbating or even talking about the subject, there are other guys who will bully them maybe for “being gay”.

Yet, nearly every guy engages in masturbation, and this ordinarily does not change in adulthood, or when sexual partners come availably. Many purportedly happily married guys continue with the practice which is often a surprise to their sexual partners if they accidentally find out.

For me, engaging in solo sex has always been a central part of my life. I like self pleasuring so much that my great fear in being with a sexual partner would be that I might have to abandon doing things that I really enjoy about being a guy. But that fear has also sent me on a lifelong quest to uncover ever-better solo-sex techniques and approaches.

Over the years I have written a lot about employing items of clothing as part of my masturbation techniques. Swim briefs obviously (what guy reading this is not fond of jerking off in a favorite swim brief. But also other items, such as underwear thongs, jock straps and an assortment of snug–fitting Lycra garments, shorts, running tights and so on.

Some guys initially may be more than a little wary of all of this. Is this “normal?” What if I like what I am doing to and by myself “too much”? Is that somehow abnormal?

I have a basic rule that if you like how it fits and feels and does not harm anyone else, then the best idea is to simply kick back and enjoy the fun. Sexually stimulating yourself is not going to somehow do damage—in fact it might be helpful both physically and psychologically.

I am a big fan of thongs. I have written dozens of pieces about how I like the fit and feel of a properly sized, snug-fitting thong. I love how once in place, a thong puts some way neat pressure on the perineum area, where a bundle of psychologically and physically exciting nerve endings are located just behind a guy’s scrotum. Once I felt this and realized what was going on down there I was totally hooked. But I also quickly got hooked on the feel of the thong back cinching up between my glutes, an sensation that was enhanced whenever I engaged in any sort of movement.

I also love jock straps—I think in part because the leg straps that hold the bottom of the pouch in place cross and press upward in the same perineum area the thong is hitting. The so-called old school straps are the best at accomplishing this, and the correct strap and thong in combination feels really good.

To paraphrase the Mounds and Almond Joy candy bar ad, “Sometimes I feel like a cup and some days I don’t.”. I am fond of the feel of a cup surrounding my penis and sometimes that is the sensation I want. But I also love putting my penis in the “up” position mainly because the nerve endings on the underside feel so good when lightly touched or gently massaged. Cups pretty much require that a guy point himself downward, but a strap without a cup allows a guy to point himself upward both inside the thong pouch as well as inside the strap pouch being worn over the top.

Of course, once I am in that position this all calls for the tightest pair of compression shorts in my possession—today a pair of super snug Nike Pro shorts, that fit like a second skin. Penis up inside the thong pouch and covered by the Duke strap pouch. My perineum is screaming for attention. That feels really good But the underside of my penis is now super sensitive too even through the layers of cloth. Just a light touch against the Nike shorts is enough to send me to another time and place—something of a self-pleasuring heaven.

Of course, I can’t resist getting on my exercise equipment wearing all of this. My stationary rowing machine with each stroke makes that thong back pressing tight between my glutes feel really great. Can I row some more? Please!

And then the stationary bike, the seat of which tends to hit the perineum area over and over, and the thong back feels really neat with the pressure from the seat as well.

Should I be apprehensive or embarrassed by all the things that are going on with me? After all, my exercise routine seems to be speeding by, and moment by moment I am feeling an array of different sensations, all neat and good.

I dunno. I think I am just going to keep on doing this. I like what I am doing to, for, with and by myself. Should I be embarrassed? I think not! But I surely do feel horny…

[sebbie]

Jason and his roommate

Among males, the urge to ejaculate is nearly universal. But each guy approaches the issue in a different way. Obviously, teen males engage in solo sex (jerk off) a lot, and this becomes establishing a routine that is not so obvious as to attract undue “attention” to what is happening while continuing to do what needs to be done.

As a teen male, the desire to ejaculate is often relentless. Some guys claim that they ejaculate every day or even maybe twice a day, but some of this might be mostly bragging. I suspect the average schedule for a teen male is about 48 hours, and extending this to 72 hours or about once every 3 days becomes difficult. As time passes since the most recent voiding of semen, the urge to ejaculate keeps becoming ever more intense, as the penis screams for the attention it wants. So delaying too long has its own risks as in ejaculating uncontrollably in a situation that might be embarrassing. Best take some precautions (Swim coach passing out Speedos for us to wear for the first time Friday? I need to prepare myself for that).

By the time guys enter their first year of college at 18 or 19, they have established a bit more control but not by much. As teens living at home with the two-day max schedule, most ejaculations usually occur in bed, at night, in darkness and under the covers. But this may not work nearly as well if I am assigned to a two-man dorm room and have a roommate who may have grown up under circumstances very different from myself, and has deal with his urges to ejaculate in a different manner than the one I have been using.

Dorms for college freshmen are interesting. They traditionally have been segregated by sex, but nowadays there are issues like do you get assigned your dorm room based on the sex you were assigned the day you were born versus what you claim to be now. Freshmen usually get the older dorms, and often the rooms are all doubles with the bath facilities down the hall. And the showers might be simply a row of showerheads with those showering males hanging out nude all around. Not the kind of place a transgender male or even an openly gay guy might feel comfortable with. What if I get an obvious hard-on while I am showering and have a strong urge to jack off? Are there other guys in the shower? If not what if I think I am alone and another guy wanders in just as I am getting going good? A gay guy might be delighted but a straight guy maybe not so much.

So what this means is that the college freshman in this situation is forced back into doing some of the same things that he did when he was living at home as in ejaculating at night under the covers, and hoping that his newly-aquired roommate doesn’t get too suspicious. Take Jason, for example, a bright and good-looking 18-year old who seems to have it all together. Jason is an undercover masturbator, and has been since age 12. He got assigned a roommate randomly by the school when he applied for a dorm room. The roommate could have any imaginable views on solo sex. Maybe in his family, members treat self-abuse as a “sin”, and the roommate grew up thinking that he needed to purge his mind of such thoughts. Or maybe the roommate is very open minded as in if in faced with the situation where his roommate is abusing himself, this would be a place to “join in on the fun”. Or perhaps anything in between. Jason has no clue, and the roommate has no clue except to say that the close quarters without privacy makes sorting this all out very difficult.

Jason, despite seemingly being all together, has another hang up of sorts. He likes to sleep in a swim brief, and preferably a snug fitting one. And Jason is not a swimmer. He would have no reason to be bouncing around his dorm room wearing only a swim brief. So at bedtime Jason quietly slips into his favorite sleepwear and quickly pulls a pair of loose fitting plaid boxer shorts over.

Stuff happens, and at about 2 AM. Jason is right on the edge of ejaculation, so he quickly pulls the plaid boxers down. The swim brief Jason really likes fits quite tight, and the ejaculate semen is mostly contained within the brief. Jason can now pull the brief down under the covers and replace it with only the plaid boxers and br able to pop out of bed as if nothing at all had happened. Stull, he now has a swim brief with lots of milky semen under the bed covers. And swim briefs do not take kindly to the heat of a dryer. He needs to wash out the semen. But the shower where he could do this is not private and down the hall. Jason does this hoping the other guys in the shower do not realize that he is washing out a cum-filled Speedo® at the same time he is showering. He has a cleaner Speedo, but one that is still very damp and needs to be air-dried. Jason hangs the Speedo® in the dorm room to dry. The roommate notices the damp Speedo® and starts to put two and two together. Jason did something that he might be embarrassed to admit having done. But is this how the whole year is going to go?

At this point a lot of things could happen. As I sort through the on-line stores, increasingly I notice snug-fitting colorful briefs where the claim is that they can be worn either as underwear or as swimwear. I presume anything labeled as possible underwear can be tossed in the laundry bag with the other underwear used for day wear, and come out clean from the laundry. Plus this eliminates the need for Jason to try and explain to his roommate why he is drying a name-brand swim brief every other day when he is not a swimmer. What is important is that the on-line purchase be as good at stimulating an erection and containing the cum as the swim brief was but easier to launder.


The school year drags on for 9 months. Jason has obviously found a way to deal with his urges on a schedule that fits his body, even though he might go through a half dozen pair of “underwear” that he purchased on-line. The stunt works. But maybe the roommate, after observing all of this for a time, has gotten way smart about what Jason has been doing to, by and with himself. And how the roommate copes with this could vary all over the place, from a feeling of disgust, to a real desire to do exactly what Jason is doing to an effort to better cope with his own urges, and might to even want to “borrow” a pair of Jason’s underwear briefs and see if the whole idea that works for Jason works for him as well.

As a young college student, I loved to jack off in private in the dorm room, but I usually did it not wearing a swim brief, but rather a pair of the snuggest blue jeans I could find. This is another way a lot of males relieve themselves. The advantage to this is that if a guy hears someone coming down the hallway and about to enter the room the guy can zip up the jeans and act as iff nothing at all has been happening.

When I was a student, the dorm room applications did not ask if I was straight, gay or something else entirely that was not even defined back then. And Universities still have a lot of gender specific member fraternities and sororities, and the presumption rather was that anyone chosen for membership by definition was straight not gay or something else. Of course, that was not always true, though gay members by joining the fraternity usually saw this as a reason to hide their sexual orientation or perhaps using the fraternity to convert them from being gay to straight.

The issues I have discussed above often apply equally well in an all-male fraternity house with even more so with even less privacy for coping with male urges. Another approach might be for Jason, or maybe a fraternity guy struggling with this, to be completely open about what he is doing, why it works, and why he wants to continue and see how the roommate or fraternity brothers react. But this approach has risks. Maybe the roommate will get his nerve up to start asking some questions out of curiousity, but also because the roommate might find these techniques to be quite enjoyable just so long as I can retain the appearance of being straight not gay!

[sebbie]

So, how snug would you like this to fit?

This is a “classic” question a store clerk asks when helping a guy pick out the right size for all sorts of different clothing items, not only briefs and swimwear, but items like jeans, and even shirts and full suits. And, styles change, narrow jeans and form-fitting suits are very popular right now.

If the guy were to be truthful, he would say “just snug enough so that merely wearing the item would make me feel horny and aroused!” But guys are never truthful on this subject.

I confess, I sometimes entertain myself by on occasion visiting the major internet porn video sites. One most interesting thing I have discovered is that the sites are divided as to being either the straight section or the gay section. My interest is ordinarily in the solo sex or male masturbation videos, and, oddly enough these are all found in the gay section.

Maybe if I were ever moved to visit the straight side I would discover that this is also the repository for female masturbation videos, as in this is something a straight guy maybe would enjoy watching. But if I want to see males masturbating, this can only be found in the gay section never mind these may be interesting to some females. All of this is very curious. I never thought that straight guys somehow have no interest in engaging in solo sex but that gay guys somehow always do. This idea would be consistent with the 13-year old male bully who accidentally discovers a male classmate masturbating and starts teasing and bullying the classmate because what he saw somehow “proves” that the classmate is gay.

Personally, I am turned off not turned on by most of the partner gay videos featuring gay sex, in part because they most often depict acts of oral or anal sex and are often quite violent. But personally, I am not wired in a way that in any circumstance sees oral or anal sex as psychologically or physically arousing, but I would say the same about seeing these same acts between a man and a woman on the “straight” site as well. And watching a male and female engage in penis-vagina sex is no turn-on either. Maybe this is why I have remained single all my life. Now watching another guy try on a new snug-fitting swim brief—THAT is a real turn-on, both psychologically and physically. Watching a guy masturbating another guy with his hand is not interesting either because I realize that successful self-abuse involves fine interaction between one’s mind and body and this is impossible if another guy is doing the masturbating.


Then I watch the news. A lot of guys somehow claim to be “normal heterosexuals” when in fact their behaviors are anything but normal in this regard. And this even gets into engaging in illegal and dangerous acts at times. Let me toss out a few names of famous people once considered by the public to be normal straight males. Harvey Weinstein. Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton. Or gay males like Kevin Spacey. Then let me add some more names of people who might have done highly questionable things under the guise of just being being a normal straight guy Andrew Cuomo, Prince Andrew, Donald Trump, Bill Gates. Even Joe Biden might appear on this list, having a penchant for hugging females he has barely met, if at all. Is this a way Biden gets turned on sexually, if really weirdly repressed? And we are living in a world in which women (and men too) are more routinely coming forward to complain about being confronted with inappropriate male behavior often by well-known individuals. But I presume a lot of this same thing happens in the world of guys who are not famous.

These thoughts all help clear my mind on a couple of different subjects but in the process raise some more issues. First, if penis-vagina sex was so much fun and so wonderful, why did I choose to remain single all my life having no interest whatsoever in even being close to a woman let alone engaging in penis-vagina sex with her?

Second, if having a male partner is so important in being gay, why am I so turned off even by watching a video of two guys engaging in oral or anal intercourse or even in a partner “hand job”. For me, this is simply not where it is where it is at, either.

So, perhaps I am asexual or even non-sexual and maybe do not have feelings of arousal at all? But that is not at all true either. I greatly enjoy the sexual aspects of being a male in very profound ways, it’s just that I am most aroused in situations where I am the only one and in full control. I think about all the guys who have gotten themselves into trouble in efforts to be with a sexual partner. I have been the wingman in a bunch of different divorces, and the question that I always end up thinking about but never quite dare ask, is that if penis-vagina sex is ultimately such a wonderful part of life, why are the two of you seeking to get out of the situation you have been in. I suppose the answer for some males is because that my partner refuses to have sex with me any more. Then, on occasion I encounter a married couple who do not have sex even irregularly and I scratch my head as to why both partners seem to be fine with that. After all, isn’t the main reason why two people get together is to have regular partner sex? Well maybe, but maybe not.

Believe it or not, I think the main reason I decided to remain single my entire life is that early on I developed a bunch of different ways for doing things to, by and with myself, and at some point I quickly discovered that if I found a partner, male or female, I would have to give up a bunch of activities that I hold dear, with no real chance for integrating a lot of the things I most like do do into a relationship. The partner likely would find me more than weird in that regard, and any marriage would last 24 hours, tops.

Besides, my lifestyle has caused me zero problems. I am not paying off a big divorce settlement. Nor have I caused any unwanted pregnancies. Nor have I ever been infected with HIV or other venereal disease. I do have a drawer brimming with swim briefs in all sorts of cuts and sizes. And another drawer filled with straps some with cups and some without. Another drawer, more recent, has several different VED pumps. Then there is the pile of snug-fitting blue jeans, and another big pile of running tights, compression tees and shorts and all manner of other snug fitting underwear and other similar clothing. Should I suddenly drop dead, whoever cleans all of this out is going to have a heck of a time trying to determine what I have been up to by doing things to, with and by myself.

Which brings me back to Jason, the college student who likes to masturbate at night, under the covers, wearing a really tight swim brief, but to not make what he is doing obvious to his recently-acquired dorm roommate. At some level, Jason is wondering about whether or not his roommate would enjoy engaging in some of the nighttime activities Jason is enjoying, but the big question is how to provide the roommate with just enough hints such that the roommate starts asking questions, and can Jason be open and truthful about what he is doing? I keep thinking about what a turn-on just being back in a double dorm room would be with the night-time erections and trying to understand where a guy you have only recently met is with respect to the stuff I am doing and that I refuse to discontinue doing simply because my living accommodations are with another guy in a double room with no real privacy and his bed but 6 ft away from mine, maybe less.

[sebbie]

Just growing up

Today, I want to share with you some thoughts I have been having about my years when I was growing up, but in particular in the years just past puberty. I grew up on a farm, in a rural area, in the middle of nowhere with the nearest neighbor being a half mile away. My first 5 years of schooling was in a one-room rural school that only had 6 students the last two years I attended. So I did not have a lot of close friends male or female.

I also have only one sibling, a brother 5 years older than I. By age 14, when I was a freshman in high school, my brother was 19 and off to college most of the year and not living at home. So I got to take over the bedroom we had shared before, and this meant that as a young teenager I had a degree of privacy that, as you will see, came in very handy at times given the “experiments” I liked to run.

I have been fascinated with male sexuality and what happens down there. I had a little set of encyclopedias, and mostly I spent my time as a young teenager poring over the articles that used the term “sexual arousal.” What I learned became a basis for running an “experiment” of one sort or another. Usually the experiment involved getting myself way horny and then ejaculating, although these experiments were best run in night under the covers. But then I was in my room alone so there were lots of opportunities to experiment.

My parents were great in almost all respects. They not only asked no questions, on the few occasions when I was really young I mentioned to my mom that I was having “this problem” (ejaculating) during the night. This seemed to concern my mom not at all. She said to me “that is fine, and what is happening to you is fine too.” I can’t imagine a better situation for a 14-year old. I could continue to act as if these events were happening involuntarily, in my sleep as a “wet dream” even though I may have been wide awake and providing some manual “encouragement”. Mom seemed to think that whatever was happening and the reason did not matter, and that I was just a normal boy.

I have had a fondness for briefs since before puberty. Back then the common swimwear was not a brief, but a short legged cotton suit. And almost invariably these suits featured a brief-style inner liner, there so a guy’s vital parts did not fall out while swimming given that the trunk was but a loose fit. I quickly figured out that of I was not going to get the paors of tighty whiteys I longed for, this suit with a brief style liner was a good substitute. I pulled on the shorts and sure enough, instant and very obvious erection and hard on. I looked at my situation and being a young boy I said to my mom “I seem to have a problem here.” My mom said “What is that? I pulled back the waist of the suit and showed her. My penis was as big as I had ever seen it and a ruddy color that looked unnatural to me too, but worse, it was hard and pointes straight forward the bulge easily seen. Interestingly, my mom said to me “the situation you are in must be thrilling you to the core! But the only way you are going to recover is to quit thinking about your penis so much! But that was easier said than done for sure. The question was “How do I NOT think about an erect and hard penis, a penis that thrills me to the core? But I was only 12 or so. What could I expect? No doubt my mom thought the whole sequence was more than a little silly, though she obviously understood my predicament she seemed not to feel very sorry for me.

In those days guys all wore pajamas to bed, tops with sleeves and matching long-legged bottoms—and sleeping in boxer shorts was not popular at all. The tricky part was ejaculating when it was nearly dawn, because invariably I would have splotches of cum trailing down one of my pajama legs and I could hardly show up for breakfast looking that way. This was a real problem. I soon discovered that if I ejaculated earlier at night, say before midnight, the cum would dry leaving only a yellowish starchy stain on the pajama leg. Once dried, that was not nearly so noticeable. So I learned to run my experiments before midnight, and what fun they were! I was learning a lot about myself and what was fun to do, day by day.

It was not long before I figured out that the underside of my penis was a lot more touch-sensitive than the top side, and the underside really loved to be touched and fondled in various ways. I liked to do that and soon I would have a really nice hard-on. Then what to do. Why not flop over on my stomach, penis pointed upward and put my body weight on the top of my penis while moving myself back and forth in repetitive strokes tpo further stimulate the underside. Ejaculation was only moments away. Only later did I learn that this masturbation method was quite aggressive and if I threw enough body weight onto a fully erect penis from above in this way I might even damage something. But I was this skinny little guy about 100 pounds or so, and nothing bad ever happened.

The other down side was that I quickly discovered that my body produced a huge amount of semen employing this technique. For starters I was way turned on and the semen just cam pouring out. Worse it all accumulated in one large and really wet spot on the lower sheet, a spot that might take some considerable effort to remove in the wash. Still, mom never complained. I guess this is what a mom has to put up with in raising a 14-year old boy. (in later years, I had assigned a female primary care physician and she wondered if that was a concern for me. She said, “Don’t worry, I have raised 6 boys, and I have seen everything there is to see!”).

Mom was remarkable in these years. The only complaint I had is that mom thought guys should wear boxer briefs not tighty whiteys, and bought my underwear through mail order Sears or Wards, as the design was tough to find then in the stores. The guys I knew all wore tighty whitey briefs, and I admired them. I thought tighty whiteys would be much more fun to masturbate in, as so much wanted some, but mom insisted.

The thing I find most interesting about this is that nowadays the teenage guys almost all wear boxer briefs similar to the style my mom favored except now maybe not white but somber grays and navy blue. Tighty whiteys are as rare among teens as boxer briefs were in my years growing up. But if you wonder where the roots of my fondness for jerking off in a pair of maybe undersized tighty whiteys, it may be related to my longings for not being able to do the same thing as a young teenager, and this was the one “scar” mom left on me with regard to sex. Still, once I got to the age where I could comfortably go out and buy my own underwear I quickly made up for lost time, I went out and bought some tighty whiteys, kept the boxer briefs in my drawer lest I need convince my mom that I still wore them, but soon I was wearing tighty whiteys exclusively and enjoying the fit and feel which turned to be at least as good as I had long fantasized about. All of y this soon led to buying swim briefs even though I was not a swimmer, another male jerk-off fantasy thing for sure. It was more difficult to concoct a plausible story line but eventually I was out on my own, living alone and no longer needed a story line.

Overall, I had great fun as a teenager in high school. I can tell you a few stories in which for no really good reason and at an inopportune time or place I ejaculated in a situation that was embarrassing though I suspect many if not most males have some similar teen experiences to tell about. One time, I was just riding along in the school bus over a bumpy road, and sure enough the vibrations felt good in a scary way. The ejaculate oddly enough collected on the BACK side of my pant leg, and so long as I remained seated the wet spot could not be seen at all. When it came time for me to get off the bus, I made a quick exit and no one was the wiser.

Another time I was wearing a new pair of what I thought was a great pair of skinnier-than-I-was-used-to jeans, and this time I got a hard-on pointed downward, and I was in a bad way. With each step I was taking, along side a male friend who was walking along side me, as I moved I kept getting harder and harder. Something soon had to give, I had to stop for a minute and I quickly started to ejaculate, and the semen quickly left a stain on the front of my newly-acquired skinny jeans. I suspect the friend I was walking with figured something was going on and he may have noticed the damp cum stains on the leg of my jeans, but he never said a thing. Somehow I survived all of this. Did I mention that I have this “thing” for snug-fitting jeans as well? Nothing better than a pair of undersized tighty whiteys covered by jeans that conform to the shape of my body, or so it was!

In retrospect, mom was pretty open minded about “guy things”. Maybe I should have just asked her to order me one package of boxer briefs and a smaller 3-pack of white cotton briefs that I would wear in warm weather, and see if she would agree to that. But then I would have faced the problem of trying to figure out how I could get 3 pair of briefs that had starchy yellowish cum stains on the pouch from my wintertime activities washed and dried so that they would be ready for summer wear! I was just too scared.

[sebbie]

Off to College Part 1

I never dated in High School. Not one date. The whole idea did not appeal to me and I got no joy from even the thought of hanging out with a female partner. I was not attracted to guys either. I never got into anything in my interactions with males my age that could in any manner be considered sexual.

Keep in mind that this was in the first half of the 1960s, and being sexually attracted to a person of your own sex was still considered to be a mental illness that could possibly be cured if a guy could only find a skilled expert psychiatrist. After all the thought was that straight people in theory are happy people who lead happy lives incorporating regular penis-vagina sex. And the stuff some gay guys did, such as anal or oral sex, was considered weird and sick, and breaking a gay guy of his fondness for such acts was part of the purported “cure” for the mental illness of having gay thoughts.

Psychologically I was living in a place other than any of this anyway. What other guys were doing to with and for partners was no concern of mine. If the idea of engaging in penis-vagina sex was a turn-off, that applied even more-so to the idea of engaging in sex involving the mouth or anus with a gay guy. But having said that I was quite interested in the sensations that I had learned to create in my body at night, under the cover of darkness, and had spent my high school years honing my skills and technique. I had found a better and easier-to-navigate sexual world, a place all my own and enjoy myself for the pure fun of it, without having to deal with the complexities of being with a sexual partner male of either sex. In my mind, this was an ideal world, and all these years later I still remain convinced of that.

So, I entered college in 1965, and a lot of college activities are built around social activities that involve potential or ongoing sexual partners. In 1965, all the guys who joined a male fraternity were “assumed” to be heterosexual males looking forward to dating women every weekend along with regular dances and other social events that mixed males and females on a regular basis, presumably males and females in search of penis-vagina sex. The idea of a fraternity consisting mostly if not exclusively of gay males was, well, way out there. Fraternity members were by definition straight and totally focused on how good it felt to have intercourse with a woman.

Of course, that was not me at all. Socializing on weekends with women made me miserable and I wanted no part of that scene at all. But, I did not have to join a fraternity with all of these weird guys in it. I could continue to stay in a dorm and not have to deal with any of this. In those days dorms were segregated by sex, and the rooms generally were doubles, with 2 men in each double room and 2 women in each room in the women’s dorms. Assignments, unless a student had identified a specific person as a roommate, were random, and the thought of 2 gay males rooming together and having sex never occurred to the dorm managers, or, if it did, nothing was ever said. The real concern was with the idea of a female showing up in a guy’s dorm room for, to make out and well, you know, but they had rules that purportedly kept that all from happening. Rather weird, huh?

My brother, five years my senior, had completed a 2-year degree and then worked for 3 years. But at the point in time when I would be a freshman he was interested in finishing the final two years of his bachelors degree, and so the obvious thing to do was to avoid the random roommate selection process and we would room together in a double. This was not terrible awful because we had grown up sharing a bedroom as well, and I could pretty well figure out what my brother's schedule was and when I would likely have the space to myself.

The dorm was set up just like I previously described, two single beds not six feet apart. A mirror and towel rack, and two closets with built in dressers, and two metal desks for study. The bathroom was way down the hall. It looked a lot like a rest room at an airport, with a long row of toilets with doored private stalls, another open area consisting of a long row of sinks, and a shower section with 8 heads that was completely open, so any guy showering could see all the nude males who were doing the same thing. These facilities were brand new and seem very much like a military setup. But lkeep in mind that the school was also a ROTC establishment and for many years all the males were required to be in ROTC so the comparison made sense.

In the mornings, the guys would head to the restroom to S, S and S. clad only in a white towel which they kept in place around their waists at the sinks but then removed for the shower and used to dry off. Early mornings the shower could be packed with nude males and to avoid the crowds some guys opted to shower in the late afternoons or evenings when the area was largely disserted. Still, for a gay male who liked to observe other nude males, this was a great place to be, but no one mentioned that.

The University laundered bed linen, but only once a week. How all of this impacted male behavior with respect to nighttime “wet dreams” I always thought was very interesting. The bed was a military style cot, more or less, consisting of a mattress with a flat spring on the bottom. Not a very comfortable bed. The University wanted to keep the mattresses clean, so every one was fitted with a slick, all=vinyl mattress cover that would presumably keep “liquids” from staining the mattress underneath? What kinds of liquids? Well, you know, some of my penis prone masturbation techniques could wreck havoc on not only a sheet but directly on the mattress underneath. Think of the vinal cover as a mattress condom. Think of a vinyl liner as something of a condom for the mattress in a space where 200 guys were all having “wet dreams” and what that could mean for mattress life if they were not properly protected. Guys may like to claim that they were only getting their “rocks off” on their weekend dates but everyone knows that is a myth.

Keeping the sheets clean was quite a task for the University. Think starchy yellowish week-old cum stains on practically every sheet. This calls for heavy-duty laundry detergent and adversely affects sheet life, and part of the dorm rent no doubt was used to replace the sheets and the occasional mattress that had succumbed to the activity going on under the covers. At one point I decided that the slick vinyl mattress cover made just sleeping unbearable. So ine night I got up, removed the cover and put the sheet back on over the unprotected mattress. As I hid the vinyl cover under the bed, I thought to myself if the mattress gets stained no one would be able to tie me specifically to the crime. The housekeeping staff seemed to not notice at all.

In the second year of all of this my brother had gotten heavily involved with a girl he married shortly atfer he finished his degree, and he was in heavy dating mode. This worked out well for me as these dates tended to not end till the wee hours of the morning and once my brother was gone I would have the room all to myself for a lengthy period of time. I took advantage of that and kept honing my skills as I kept thinking of new and interesting ways to do things to, for and with myself. These were happy times for me to be sure. While all of this was going on, I also became a really really good student, a powerhouse in that regard with respect to the entire campus. Somehow, my combination of activities worked really well, but dating was not one of them.

To be continued in part 2.

[sebbie]

Part 2 Two Years of College to go
continuation of previous post

So, my brother had finished his degree and was planning on marrying, but I still had two years of college to go. And the old problem was back. The dorm rooms were doubles, and I was uncomfortable with the idea of living in the same room as a guy who was randomly assigned to my room. Besides, I had more than a few “habits” and “likings” than another normal sexually-active straight guy might think as weird, annoying, or otherwise impossible to deal with and I was struggling with this and what it might mean for the way I lived.

I could not exactly make public that I was seeking a roommate who enjoyed solo sex as much as I did and was willing to not only deal with my “perversions’ but in some manner become part of what I was doing. In short, a gay roommate in 1967, even a semi openly gay roommate would be pretty weird. At some level I knew that there must be other guys who enjoy solo sex at least as much as I do, but the idea of a somehow shared solo sex experience with your college roommate was way out there. For that matter I wasn’t even thinking about sharing what I was doing by myself with anyone, even as a subject of discussion not a demonstration.

Fortunately, the University made a solution available to me that solved all my problems. A new 9-story dorm had just gone up and it was not like living in a military barracks. Instead of a bath down the hall, the new dorm had 8 floors of suites, each suite consisting of two double rooms and a shared area consisting of a sink, wall phone, enclosed shower and a toilet in another enclosed area. Instead of being clad in a towel to go to the bathroom and shower, guys living in the rooms could go into the common area wearing almost nothing or nothing at all. These floors were set up so that each two floors shared a common lounge area and elevator access. But even more interesting is that on every floor ONE of the suites was set up for 5 men not 4, and the 5th person did not share a room with a roommate put had a separate private room still sharing the common area. Since there were only 8 of these single dorm rooms on the entire campus I needed to get up early to get my name in for one of them.

And that I did! I ended up having the most prime piece of dorm real estate on the entire campus—the single room on the top or 9th story of the brand new dorm with a window looking out to the city airport with planes landing regularly. This was completely private when I wanted my privacy. A great place to study AND jerk off in with privacy. Besides I also had 4 “suite mates” that I could interact with but only to the degree that I wanted.

The other two rooms had four guys, one room with two brothers one a year older than the other, The second room had a football player in it, a burly guy who was also something of a jokester. His roommate was a guy that I remember little about, That roommate like to drink, was probably an alcoholic, and having booze in the dorm room was very much frowned upon to the point where discovery usually meant that the student would be dismissed. I remember walking into the room and seeing his closet foiled with a shelf of booze---it looked like the shelf of a liquor store. The dorm counselors soon figured out what was going on. The guy spent little time in the dorm room and I never knew if he left college on his own or was banned, but he wasn’t around much at all.

The older brother and I became quite good friends and the younger brother too. They were quite different. The older brother was a serious scholar but the younger brother was not fond of college. The younger brother liked to play jokes on people, stupid but never really mean stuff, like putting black shoe polish on the black toilet seat. The older brother was annoyed by this to a degree. And the football player was something of a jokester too, so the younger brother and the football player hit it off.

One day the two of them decided it would be fun to gross out their suitemates. They both put on boxer shorts and then both lay on the football players bed and started grabbing each other’s penises trough the cloth and massaging each other. They were never nude, but all of the suitemates were seeing all of this in real time—two guys jerking each other off with an audience. The older brother thought this was pretty weird but he was used to seeing his brother misbehave in various ways. I just watched in silence as all of this went on.

At least not publicly, neither of them got to the point of ejaculation though it was becoming pretty obvious to me that neither of them was that far away, They suddenly stopped cold. Maybe they both thought that ejaculate was too much for their captive audience to bear. But for me the event raised questions in part because this happened not once but several times in the full view of others in the suite. And I was filled with questions about stuff I had never thought about before, in particular was one or both of these guys gay, and doing this in a situation whereby what was happening was only semi private? Was all of this just another big practical joke on the rest of us and the behavior was what they were claiming it was, just a silly effort to gross out their suitemates in a world of 1968 where gay interactions were deeply frowned upon? The University had no explicit rules banning masturbating your roommate! So far as the university was concerned, gay sex did not exist only straight sex, and they did have rules that attempted to ban straight sex in the dorms.

Thar the alcoholic roommate who often was not in the room night after night meant that the football player was living as a single guy much like I was, and the younger brother may have wandered into the football player’s room at night, and then did more of the same. Lots of odd stuff goes on in dorms in a setting where everyone is male.

I’ve thought about these guys and this incident many times in part because when I saw it I was really naïve about gay sex. And I read that a lot of males have what would be called a same-sex encounter with another male that essentially goes nowhere—the guy marries and penis-vagina sex becomes the replacement for the gay sex, and life goes on as a straight male.

I know that the younger brother left school without completing a degree. He really did not like being in college. But he soon married and lived his life with a woman. The football player I completely lost track of. But, all of this happened in an era when it would be considered really odd if a big burly college football player ever admitted to having engaged in sex in any form with another male in any form including jerking off each other. So to this day I think that guy may have been a deeply hidden gay guy and this was a way to play out a fantasy under the guise of everything being a gross out joke on the suitemates.

Me, I’m still struggling with the whole idea of two males both enjoying wearing snug-fitting Speedos and both at the same time masturbating only themselves not each other, but at the same time and in the same private space, and whether that fantasy should be labeled as gay.

[sebbie]

Thinking Back…

In high school, I was a very skinny nerdy kid with a very “long drink of water” look. I had suddenly grown to 5 ft 10 inches, but my body weight stayed stubbornly the same at only 105 lbs. I went through four years of college and my body weight went up to maybe 110 pounds. I might have made it to 120 pounds but that was it. I admired the guys who as they grew they acquired more muscle mass, making their shirts and jeans look right. Me, no matter what clothes I bought, they fit way oversized on my skinny arms, legs and even my chest.

Very early on I also admired the fit guys who looked good wearing only a Speedo, but that required the basics such as an actual chest and thighs, not to mention glutes, and I had none of those. I bought a house after I took a job and decided what it really needed was a hot tub, as that would give me an excuse to own Speedos and wear them every day. So I added a small room on the back of my house and installed a hot tub and bought appropriate “swimwear” for that.

But this did nothing for my gaunt physique. I had a friend who was an excellent swimmer, a native of Greece, who said “no problem! You see I have this friend who is a swimming instructor and she will teach you how to swim.” She tried but physically it just did not work for ma. I could save myself from drowning maybe but that was it.

I decided the problem I was having was way weak upper body strength. Going swimming was a pain as I had to spend time driving to and from the pool. There must be a better way for me to build my body with the idea that this will make swimming easier. Why not a stationary rowing machine, of course! I had a spare bedroom, and I had a small color TV in it. I was also looking at weightlifting equipment that would not cause injury if I was working out alone and I chose a too big weight and dropped it, and the inexpensive home gyms with weight stacks were just that. So the 3rd bedroom became my gym and rowing area.

From the moment I sat on my first rowing machine I knew I had found my sport. And I loved the new no- fuss weightlifting setup too. I watched TV as I rowed. Here were activities that were finally going to make me move along the lines I wanted to go. If it was possible for the rowing machine to build an upper body then my body would have no choice but to obey. I liked these activities so much I never went back to swimming.

The whole idea was to spend an hour rowing followed by various activities on the weightlifting home gym. Speedos are not ideally suited to these activities, though other kinds of Lycra gear are. There was one set of clothing for rowing and weightlifting, and the hot tub was always waiting. So after my daily workout .I would get out of my workout gear, get in a Speedo and hop into the hot tub. There are some interesting things a guy can do with his male body parts up against the jet of a hot tub. Can you say “quick orgasm?” The sensation is like having the cum being “sucked” out of your body, and it happens even if you are not hard at all. This sort of play must sell a lot of hot tubs.

So, for the last 35 years or so I have been rowing and weightlifting pretty much every day. After I broke my hip in an unfortunate accident in 2014, I added a stationary bike to my routine and I have now gone 9000 miles on that a half hour a day.

AND skinny jeans that fit my still lean body are now readily available, but then my thighs are bigger now from all the rowing and bike riding. Today I am wearing a pair of 31 x 30 skinny jeans, the same waist and inseam I wore in high school. At my age of 73, I know of few guys who can say that as the normal aging process adds an inch or so to the waist a year. I have a very big pile of jeans I have accumulated over the past two decades all ranging from 30 x 30 to 32 x 30. Some guys might worry that this would be a huge waste of money (My jeans collection is at least as large as my Speedo collection) but they all have been the right size for 20 years, and I presume if I keep rowing and bike riding on a daily basis my jeans will continue to fit.

Do I have any regrets? Not really! I am still as enthusiastic about stationary rowing as a sport as I was when I first started over 30 years ago. Of course, I also have a big collection of workout gear that works well for rowing, and, being retired now, I live in that every day. Compression shorts and tees, compression running tights, not to mention football pants and wrestling singlets. My go-to setup uses a pair of tighty whiteys under the compression shorts, but an underwear thong is way interesting as well. And sometimes just a strap, with or without a cup. Great sport! Great fun! And the time on the machine goes quickly especially wearing the right gear!

[sebbie]

“How snug do you want that to fit?” is a question a lot of guys get as they start thinking about wearing a new clothing item, but in particular any new clothing item that will cover the groin area. This seems like an innocuous question to be sure, as if it really only has to do with proper sizing for the sake of appearance, but deep down every guy knows that the question often involves issues with a deeper, more personal meaning.

Guys learn at a very early age that there are places in the groin area that are, well, sensitive to having any clothing item touching them, and further, that anything that is looser fitting is probably also less likely to provide significant stimulation down there. Swimwear is probably the best known of the clothing items that guys “worry” about. And there is a psychological element to all of this as well. Part of the appeal of board shorts as swimwear is that the looser, baggy fit is unlikely to provide any significant stimulation to cause the guy to have any psychological concern.

A snug-fitting swim brief is just the opposite, however. And here is the really weird part. If a guy merely THINKS about the possibility that a swim brief will make him aroused or even result in an embarrassing erection, then the odds are much greater that this is exactly what WILL happen if a guy pulls on the swim brief. Merely THINKING about the POSSIBILITY that this could happen could in fact cause it to happen. But generally, guys do not get horny and aroused merely contemplating putting on a pair of loose-fitting board shorts. So these become a “safe” solution, assuming the guy is looking to avoid getting aroused simply by putting an article of clothing over his groin area.

OK, so I am wearing my board shorts, in part because I do not want to get stuck in a situation where I am having a noticeable arousal and erection, and this seems to be working for me, sort of. The problem is, two of the other guys I am with are wearing swim briefs, and because of that they must be experiencing something that I am not experiencing nor enjoying. Clearly, the swim briefs fit quite snug, and I can see an outline of each of their packages down there. I wonder if wearing the swim briefs are in part causing that. The other guys are teasing me, and wondering why I insist on wearing these baggy, loose-fitting board shorts and not sleek snd snug swim briefs like they are wearing. I start to thinking about this, agonizing really over the question of how my body would react if I discarded the board shorts and put on a pair of swim briefs.

Once in a pair of swim briefs, would I be able to “control” myself? How horny would I feel? Would I grow so big that even my body outline would potentially cause me embarrassment? For any guy who has never worn a swim brief, there are lots of unanswered questions here.

The safest thing of course is to go buy a swim brief and then try it on not with a group of guys but in the privacy of your own bedroom maybe in front of a mirror. See how you hang together psychologically seeing yourself wearing one as well as what your physical condition turns out to be. In short, how horny and how aroused do you get once you are wearing a swim brief? If all you can think about is how much you want to ejaculate once you are wearing your swim brief, then you likely have some things you will need to work through before wearing the brief in a public or semi-public setting.

One option at this point would be to try wearing the swim brief as sleepwear and if you are concerned that others might wonder about what you are doing, simply slip on a loose fitting pair of boxer shorts over. A guy’s body does a good job of communicating if you have put yourself in a happy situation or not. If you are uncertain as to whether or not your body “likes” being in the snug swim brief say, at 11 pm, there should be no doubt in your mind when you awaken at 3 AM and observe what has been going on down there. In fact, you may want to thank me for suggesting this idea.

This is all goofy and sweet fun. In the process of wearing your new swim brief to bed, you are bound to learn a lot more about who you really are as a guy and as a human being. And all of that is a great and not-to be-missed. Maybe you will even get to the point whereby putting on a swim brief causes you no issues, either physical or psychological of any sort. But in getting there you have had a lot of pure, not-to-be missed fun!

[sebbie]

A new “woke” college dorm

I have discussed at length the design of the traditional college dorm, with students housed two-to-a room and a shared bath with a row of stalls, showers and wash basins in a common area down the hall. I have long lamented the fact that in such an arrangement, it was difficult for a guy to find any private space in order to engage in any sort of masturbation activity, and how this might affect a guy’s outlook, happiness and performance in college. I also have explained that in my last two years as an undergraduate I managed to snag a single room in a suite containing a shared bath and two doubles and this turned out to be an ideal setup for, well, you know.

Let me also add that back then, colleges and universities thought they had a role in playing parent when the parents were not there (locus parentis), as in preventing young single men and women from having sex. So dorms were separate by gender, and in separate buildings. Gays were simply assumed not to exist. So two gay guys or two gay women could request each other as roommates and no one in university housing would be the wiser. Though, straight guys getting an assigned roommate often worried about what the sexual orientation of the roommate might be and this could be all over the place. Worse, what was the assigned roommate going to learn about my masturbation routine given the close quarters?

Interestingly, university housing in recent years has discovered that young men (and women) much prefer single to double rooms, and most new dorms are designed as suites containing baths shared by a common space. Everyone wants some privacy, male or female. Dorms used to be single-sex places and there were only 2 defined sexes. Anything else simply did not exist, according to university housing.

Gradually, the newly-built dorms became towers with men and women residing on separate floors within the same building. This has happened to the 9-story dorm I lived in my cherished single room as an undergraduate. the individual floors became single sex “houses” like in Harry Potter, where men and women could reside on the same floor but in different areas though maybe not with names.

The 97-year old Charlie Munger is the Vice Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway and has money—lots of it. He has been making donations to colleges that are somehow connected to him, one of them being the University of California Santa Barbara. This is a place with beautiful ocean vistas and extremely expensive land, plus lots and lots of undergrads who need affordable housing--affordable as in a dorm room.

Munger donated to the school money to build new dormitories, the first being an eleven-story undergraduate dorm. Read all about the details here. Munger is also an architect as a hobby,

https://www.cnn.com/2021/10/29/busin...all/index.html

The first 11-story building will house 4500 students, and according to the article, Each residential floor would have eight "houses," each holding 63 students. There are eight suites in each house, and every suite has eight single-occupancy beds. The single rooms are tiny, windowless and cell like. The controversy is centered on the lack of windows. The 8 students share two baths just off the common area which appears to contain a long conference-like table and chairs. The private cells appear to be about 7 ft x 12 ft. and each contains a “faux” window that is really just a digital panel.

California generally likes to claim to be the wokest place in the nation, with the colleges and universities being the wokest of the woke. In my undergraduate days these were the hippies, but no more. Hippies believed that everyone was entitled tpo “do their own thing”. But today wokeness focuses on gender, sexual orientation and race. And we have students divided into houses with 8 students each.

Let me suggest, for example, that 8 gay guys decide it would be fun to hang with just other gay guys, so eight gay guys decide they want to room in a single house. Is that permitted? Same for gay women? Can a university somehow place restrictions on gay sexual behavior as it traditionally has done in attempts to keep men and women out of each other’s dorms in an effort to stop sexual activities like a parent might attempt to do.

Or, what about the straight guy who brings his girlfriend into his single dorm room for sex. Is that allowed? Or, vice versa. What are the other male house members going to think if there are girlfriends wandering around the house on a regular basis in the common area?

But issues become more still more complicated. Suppose we have 8 trans students. Some are males who transitioned to female. Others are females who became male? Can they all live in a single house or should they be separated based on their current not birth gender? And can they identify their house as trans?

And the bisexuals? Can 8 bisexuals all share a common house? If so can it be labeled as such?

And the non-binary, as in students who do not identify as male or female. Is there a separate house for non-binaries?

And race? Are 8 African Americans allowed to be in the same house? 8 Latinos? 8 Asians? 8 Caucasians? Or is there some weird university rule requiring each house to be racially diverse? What happens if 8 students all want to room together by choice? Is it a responsibility of the university to force racial diversity in each 8-student house?

UC Santa Barbara housing faces some interesting questions, questions more complicated than whether or not a guy can find a private space in which to masturbate. I keep reading that only 5 to 10 percent of adult males self-identify as gay, and I presume the largest share of these engage in some form of partner sex that involves the interchange of bodily fluids. But then I also read that a much larger percentage of adult males have engaged in one or more episodes involving same sex activity, maybe 30 or 40 percent. For the most part I presume this activity is mutual masturbation in one form or another.

I realize that my readers here are generally big fans of engaging in masturbation while wearing a snug-fitting swim brief, and that such an activity might be even more arousing when another guy is doing the same thing as each of you watch each other get hard. There are a lot of guys out there where mutual masturbation becomes the only same-sex activity—guys who otherwise ultimately end up living as a straight married guy. To me the interesting part about all of this is what happens when a guys are suddenly in a house with 8 private rooms, guys that may not self-identify as gay, but still take advantage of a great opportunity to engage in mutual masturbation within such a setup.