Thoughts on just being a guy

[sebbie]

Part CI (101)

The role that snug-fitting clothing plays in a guy’s life has always been a topic that has fascinated me. Once I got to an age where I COULD ejaculate, then the question quickly turned to exactly what the circumstances were when this actually happened, involuntarily or with some “overt” help from me.

Think back to the first time in your life that you actually realized that you had ejaculated semen. Some medical references claim that some guys have dry orgasms with repetitive involuntary muscle contractions for some months to actually ‘voiding” any semen. (I am always amused by the sober phrase “voiding semen” as if this were somehow a somber, completely joyless event.)

Anyhow, I don’t recall ever having a dry orgasm. The earliest recollection I recall of voiding semen has me awakening at 2 AM and discovering there was a goofy puddle of something sticky on my pajama leg that if I were lucky, turned into a still noticeable and starchy looking dry stain by morning. Mom said “That is nothing to worry about” but did not tell me anything else (or tell me to see if I could somehow stop doing that. (The limited advice I was getting was somehow both reassuring and in retrospect, amusing).

The first few times this happened the stains were small and almost unnoticeable, but a problem was that they were starting to get bigger. And despite the fact that these events were occurring in the middle of the night, it dawned on me that maybe just maybe I should not be just sleeping right through them. Instead, why not wake up just before this happens and then fall back asleep afterwards?

The other major event in a boy’s life is when he has his first daytime orgasm and voiding of semen. My personal recollection was that I was fond of swimsuits at a very early age especially the ones with the snug nylon liners. And I had a little wading pool in the yard. Oh hot days I would get into my suit, crawl into the pool and just sit in the water for many minutes if not hours. What to do? Why sit and stare at my navel? My penis was drawing my attention away from that as it was starting to feel really good as I sat there and the more I thought about it the better it felt.

Suddenly and somewhat violently (at least I thought so at the time) my penis started to feel really, really good. I was suddenly in a very special place. I was ejaculating into the swimsuit. But conveniently the water in the little pool was going to wash away any evidence. Should I tell mom what had happened to me? Well no, I thought, as she seemed totally unconcerned with the same thing happened to me in bed at night. But, I had just had my first daytime orgasm, and boy was it fun. Plus it was a complete secret. No one knew other than me.

So, I quickly figured out the real reason to try and be in the wading pool on a regular basis, and this became a regular summertime routine. The swimwear soon got connected psychologically to being able to have a secret orgasm. Besides, I was perfecting my bedtime techniques. I was beginning to realize that there was no longer any reason to just wait and see if a nocturnal emission just happened (perhaps at a strange hour like too near the time I needed to wake up for the semen to have time to dry).

Instead, I could kind of “encourage” things along a bit on my own. And the stuff I had pieced together while out in the wading pool was, well, helpful. Why not ejaculate, fully awake, at 11 pm, for example, and the semen stains would have plenty of time to fully dry by early morning? I was making important calculations like this and begging a schedule that had me ejaculating nearly every night.

More generally my fondness for snug=fitting clothing was increasing. I wanted to be in anything that I thought would get me aroused. And I was watching my friends. At that age guys are growing rapidly, and starting to build more muscular bodies, meaning they were quickly outgrowing jeans that were correctly sized in the previous summer. Most parents (mainly the moms) were struggling to keep the boys in close that fit their bigger bodies.

But I noticed an odd thing. At least some of the guys who had clearly outgrown the jeans they wore the past summer were still wearing them this year anyway. Perhaps their parents were too poor to buy them jeans that fit. No, the guys seemed to actually like the fact that the jeans a bit fit tight in the thigh, short in the ankle, and, seemingly most importantly, snug in the butt. The fact that the jeans were now worn but now body-conforming seemed now to be a plus, not a minus. What was going on here?

I grew up in a Western-focused community, and a modified cowboy look was very popular. Wrangler cowboy-cut jeans complete with the Wrangler patch on the right rear pocket was a very popular look, and part of the look is the fact that the jeans fit close to the body but especially so in the butt and thighs.

Stretch denim had yet to be invented, and jeans routinely shrunk when washed a few times. This meant that jeans that were merely snug when purchased after a few washings were, well, quite body-conforming.

I remember being in the local store in search for a pair of Wrangler jeans. Another guy was also shopping and trying jeans on. He complained to the clerk that a particular pair of jeans was OK but he was actually in search of a pair that fit snugger in the thigh and in the butt. I suspect the clerk was concerned that any snugger cut or smaller size would be too tight to wear after a few washings, but that did not seem to concern the guy at all. The whole idea was that when the jeans were laundered, they would have to conform to the guy’s body exactly even if this required some effort to get into the jean. The tighter the fit, the better, and a bit of a struggle getting in and out of the jeans was part of that.

At that point in time I got to thinking about the predicament the guy would find himself in if he got a hard-on wearing those. But maybe, just maybe that was what he was hoping for. These are the kinds of questions one never gets answered.

As time wore on, stuff kept getting snugger and tighter for me as well. In the back of my mind I was worried the potential about the embarrassment of having an “involuntary voiding” of semen even as I was enamored with being able to keep maintaining a nice semi hard-on as the day went on.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Just Having Fun!

A guy’s early experiences with his post-puberty body may at first seem all but inconsequential, but leave an indelible imprint on what a guy continues to enjoy doing throughout his life. I have always found this statement to be both weird and interesting. At one time I thought that perhaps I was the only one “affected” in this way, but I have gradually come to the conclusion that other guys have the same “problem” or “hang up”.

Bluntly put, a guy’s first experience in ejaculating contains equal parts “scary” and “fun” At least, that is the mindset I had the first time “it” happened to me. At the same time, was scared stiff (no pun intended), but enjoying myself with wonderful sensations that I had never experienced before.

So, I want each of my readers to think back to the very first ejaculatory experience each of you have had in the daytime and were wide awake. What exactly were the circumstances that sent this “unfortunate” event off? Of course, this was not an unfortunate event at all, but an extraordinarily wonderful, happy event. Psychological and sexual nirvana. Of course, you thought the sensations were great fun in addition to being scary.

For most guys, I suspect your first wide-awake experience was not with a sexual partner or even in the presence of a possible sexual partner. Someone else may have inadvertently been there, but having this happen in the presence of a sibling, parent or male peer added complexity to the situation and you might still be psychologically affected by the fact that this happened to you in an “embarrassing” situation. Guys quickly learn that they should keep utterly silent to anyone around them about anything that happens ejaculation-wise. [This at least holds until guys learn that they can make money uploading ejaculation videos to a porn Web site, but they learn that much later! And most of these hide the face (identity) of the ejaculator. Same deal, interestingly! ]

So what set you off way back? I guess it should come as no surprise that personally my first experience of this sort occurred while I was wearing swimwear. I saw photos of guys in Sears and Wards catalogs modeling brief-style suits and wanted very much to be in the same place they were in. The suits they were wearing just HAD to feel really good. All I had was a boxer-style suit, but, oddly enough, the nylon lining was essentially a brief suit underneath. For now, that would have to do!. But at that age I was so horny and easily aroused that was plenty. The rest was history.

Then my two male cousins from the West Coast showed up and they both wore swim briefs on a more or less steady basis and had no issues doing that even if they were not near a body of water. How I admired them! But I was well into college before I got my first real swim brief. By then I was living alone and could enjoy myself whenever I wanted to. Many of my suits have taken a lot of this sort of “abuse” over the years and I have enjoyed every minute of it. Every, every second!

For a long time I kept wondering if there are other guys out there who grew up with a similar fondness for swim briefs. Do I have some weird psychological “disorder” of some sort, or is this common among guys?I also keep wondering about the gay/straight thing. If there is a fondness for swim briefs as masturbation aids, should this be thought of as somehow being a “gay indicator”? Or do many other guys who deem themselves straight have the same “swim brief” affliction? This is a puzzle I have never totally resolved.

Many of you are aware that I had my prostate removed in 2014, and one of the side effects of the surgery is the inability to get a spontaneous erection. The orgasm muscles still work, but orgasms are just OK without an erection. The good news is that for some guys the ability to get an erection sometimes gradually returns over time. The tricky part is that normally guys get erections because of some weird mixture of the physical and the mental, and no two guys are the same in this regard. I wanted to see if I could improve my situation over time by using a variety of methods, a vibrator, a little estim device, a VED device. All of these are devices for treating erectile dysfunction in all its forms irrespective of the cause but they are also used purely for recreation. But what excites a guy varies a lot from one guy to another. After surgery a lot of guys are looking to get enough of an erection to have penis/vagina sex with the wife.

So, fast forward 50 years. I am 72 years old and likely about 60 years past my first wonderful-but-scary daytime ejaculatory experience. Every night I have been running “experiments” using the various devices. Vibrator or estim first, then the VED. But I usually come out of the VED being, well, quite big and hard. I like to then see if I can take myself to yet another level without going into an orgasm. I’m “edging” as in getting close to the edge of not being able to control myself but staying just on this side. Being there is fun. Way, way fun! Really, really fun! And the next day I can pick up where I left off, pretty much, but I will keep feeling hornier and hornier as the days go by. The tricky part is to learn how to do this over multiple days.

So, what next? Why I pull out a swim brief, a little blue “Club Swim” Euro brief with a 28 inch waist that I can barely fit myself into. This fits like a Seobean or Aqux brief and doesn’t quite cover my “Y” in back. And the “comfortable” place for my still-somewhat-erect penis is “up”. Funny, I feel down there. My penis seems to like where it is at very much. I am suddenly 12 again and am feeling really good. I’m not scared any more. I’m just enjoying myself.

I sleep soundly through the night. I awake and feel myself down there. My penis is still pointed up, and feels somewhat hard. If my penis is happy my outlook on life is good. I want to keep going today. Continue to enjoy myself. I discard the brief which now has a neat little precum stain on the lining where my penis tip has lain all night long. I still feel horny as all get out.

I slip on that “mean” little 2x(ist) thong I am so fond of, and over that my asics wrestling singlet. Today will be a fine day. Meanwhile I have learned a lot from watching porn videos. The guys in the videos are using vibrators as well as a variety of estim and VED devices for recreational masturbation. And interestingly, some of them are also edging in the sense that they are employing these devices over several days and seeing exactly how long they can go without having an orgasm. Watching other guys attempt this is interesting. I’m 4 days past my last orgasm. This keeps getting tougher and tougher to do, but at the same time each day somehow gets more and more enjoyable. Weird fun!

The guys in the videos are doing this as recreational masturbation and not treating any physical issue. The idea of forcing me to sleep in a really tight-fitting swim brief is mine, however, and adds a new dimension to the entire experience. I want to do that some more! Lots more in fact!

Oh, and I have come to the conclusion that the main reason most swim briefs have a front lining is not to better hide one’s penis when the brief is wet, but to provide an additional layer of “protection” when a guy precums in the brief so that a trail of tiny wet stains do not show on the front of the brief before he dives into the water!

Enjoy!

[sebbie]

Part CII

I have written any number of times about my experiences in sleeping in thongs, straps with cups and other snug-fitting garb, but last night I was playing around by and with myself once again, and I ended up having a wonderful night. I got to thinking that maybe my readers would like to hear the details of exactly what I did to and with myself that made for so much fun all night long, with the idea that maybe there would be some things my readers might wish to do as well.

Both physically and psychologically, what I do ends up being way fun. Doing this successfully combines a mix of the psychological and the physical. I love wearing thongs—always have—it’s the combination of the elastic cord or band that cuts snuggly between my glutes and the idea of getting my penis and balls all positioned inside a pouch that never seems to have quite an adequate amount of room. For a lot of guys who like to wear thong underwear and swimwear The whole idea of just getting into one with everything in place becomes an erotic experience given the attention a guy needs to place on making certain that all parts of the male anatomy is where it should be.

Last night, as my “challenge” I picked out an old black swim thong from Koala Swim. These are the ones with a very narrow front pouch and a really tight fitting rear band that has to fit between the glutes. Getting into the thong posed a fun challenge for me. A proper fit pushes the penis and balls upward and forward even as the thong back disappears between the glutes. Keep in mind that I am going to be wearing this through the entire night if all goes as planned. Great fit and feel once everything is in.

Next up, I am going to be wearing a strap with a cup over the thong. And, of course, I am an old school strap guy. I like the flat cups like the guys wore in the 1960s, not the roomier “Banana Style” cups. Now keep in mind that the thong is pushing a guy forward and upward into the strap cup, even as the cup itself is putting pressure downward. Think about this. Two opposing forces providing tension in opposite directions with my penis stuck between the opposing forces.

I’ve said this before, but the best straps and cups are the ones that fit so snug that they can only fully contain a flaccid penis. Penises and jock cups have an interesting relationship. Somehow, penises seem to know when they are about to get crammed into a space that leaves almost no room for expansion. Invariably, they take advantage of whatever space is there right up to the walls of the cup. In the process, with the cup containing the expansion, penises are capable of generating some marvelous sensations in that limited space. Sensations that can drive a guy bonkers if he just thinks about it for very long.

I have often wondered about how much of this is physical and how much is linked to the fact that the guy psychologically knows that his penis is going to be cramped for space. Sexual sensations always seem to be this goofy mix of the two. The uncertainty about what will happen only adds to both the psychological and physical enjoyment. It is this same mix of feelings that sometimes makes guys very wary about wearing straps with cups for the very first time. But this is also an extraordinarily fun place to be.

So I am in my black Koala swim thong, and have my TruFit old-school strap and cup over. What Next? Why a Dolphin Swim brief, of course. The Dolphin is black with red on the sides—classic old school swim brief that covers the thong, strap and cup and holds the cup firmly in place. This looks neat and feels even neater.

By now, I’m feeling, well, more than a little horny. The thong is squeezing itself between my glutes, and my penis feels like it is in another place entirely. Is it the thong pouch that is doing this to me, the firmly positioned cup, or some of both? Can’t tell! Who cares! Whatever is happening I am feeling absolutely great down there. The cup is pressing down on me and my penis knows that space to expand is really limited. Can I fall asleep this way? Good question.

I tap on the cup and my penis notices. I press harder on the cup with my hand. My penis likes that a lot. But in this situation it is impossible to have an orgasm while still in the cup. It’s frustrating, but, at the same time I am savoring my predicament moment by moment. This is why the phrase “delicious agony” was invented I guess. I try to adjust the cup a bit, but that only seems to make matters worse, or maybe better. My penis is absolutely loving the situation it is in. Goofy, wonderful fun. Delicious! Delicious!

So I do soon fall asleep thinking to myself that other guys need to experience what is happening to me . My body is great. It’s letting me drift off still in delicious agony.

I awaken but not till 5 AM. Still feeling great down there. I made it through the night without awakening at 2 AM to tear everything off. I finally get up at 6:30 and tear everything off. My black thong has some really neat wet precum stains in the pouch, about quarter-dollar sized. I still have not had an orgasm. I get up and start writing this.


A great part about all of this is that if I can avoid having an orgasm today I will be even hornier tonight and I can repeat the process once again. This is great technique for learning the nuances of how to edge. The pressure and need to ejaculate keeps building night after night. Some guys are able to go for a week or longer without ejaculating but this keeps getting tougher and tougher to do. But testing yourself this way is part of the fun. At some point I will break too, but not for now! Not now!

I like it! I like it! Enjoy yourself! I always do.

[sebbie]

Part CIII

Day 2
Every guy knows that a lot of the fun associated with just being a guy has to do with having orgasms and ejaculations. Guys pick up on that idea at a very early age. But male sexuality is more complicated than simply the sheer pleasure of ejaculating, way more complicated. Throughout their post-pubescent lives guys keep learning new things about themselves and their bodies.

Some of my readers may think that what I am talking about is relationship-driven, as in who a guy has sex with or not and why. I never want to be accused of ignoring the psychological aspect of male sexuality, not at all. Sexuality is always a crazy goofy mixture of the emotional and the physical. What feels good or not on part depends on who a guy is with, or not.

I am a strong advocate of the idea that partner sex is not the place for any guy to first discover who he is as a sexual human being. On order to be successful a guy needs to first understand who he is as an individual, single human being with male sex organs. This involves learning an array of self-pleasuring techniques. Perhaps more succinctly put, learning the techniques of masturbation. Instead of treating solo sex as an inferior activity that guys should never do, I am going to suggest that every guy make way to elevate masturbation to an important part of his daily life.

What I am saying may be tricky to do. I have written at length about the problems teenagers may face in dealing with this at home, and then as college students living in a dorm room or a fraternity house. Some guys seem destined to be constantly stuck in situations where they are never able to have any real privacy as single guys and tjis is unfortunate. Some of the best solo sex methods take time to implement, and this becomes more and more of an issue if a guy seldom has any time by himself. I think a lot of guys probably end up having sex with partners in part because that is the release when the privacy a guy seeks when playing with himself is restricted or absent entirely.

Besides, mastering solo sex ultimately can make you better at what you need to be able to do when you are having sex with a partner. And what you need to be able to do specifically is NOT see how fast you can get an erection and go into a full-scale semen-producing orgasm…Everything about partner sex is intertwined with being able to come slowly and deliberately. The guys who thought they were somehow studs because they could masturbate to orgasm in the bathroom in 60 seconds are not the winners but the losers here.

Besides, assuming you are having sex with a female, you have probably found out that women can have multiple orgasms within a single sexual encounter—or none at all. Women just don’t fit the male mode of getting quickly into a single, gigantic orgasm that blows them away all at once like some guys who think they are good at having sex do. For a woman, a sexual encounter is a much more complicated thing than that. To be successful at satisfying a woman a guy must first learn how to get hard and stay hard for a long period of time without ejaculating. This is tricky stuff, generally not learned by quickly masturbating behind a closed bathroom door.

What does all of this have to do with swim briefs, compression shorts, jock straps and other gear guys are fearful of? A great source of anxiety for a lot of guys is that they are inadvertently going to get a hard-on at a time and in a place where there is no obvious sexual encounter about to take place, and that this will be embarrassing or lead to peer bullying. So guys avoid any item of clothing that could get themselves into that situation. But then once guys marry and attaining an age, the greatest fear then becomes NOT being able to get a hard-on in the presence of their sexual partner. Funny how all of this reverses itself as a guy gets older.

Male sexuality can be a lot more fun if a guy can learn how to get horny and hard WITHOUT immediately concluding with a full scale orgasm, and in this regard, the various items of snug-fitting clothing can play a critical role in helping a guy accomplish this over longer periods of time. The only question is what specific clothing item works for a guy and this can be very individualized. The fascination that a lot of guys seem to have with snug-fitting jeans currently seems to fit right into this. Some guys pick out jeans simply because they like how the jeans feel on their bodies which, translated means they feel horny wearing them

I’m convinced that guys’ fondness for tighty whitey briefs in the middle of the 20th century was connected to this as well. What happened since then is more interesting in that the tight-fitting compression gear and ordinary daily underwear has largely merged into one. Guys picking out underwear are still thinking in terms of what will make them feel horny without causing them to unexpectedly go into a powerful orgasm.

The idea of being able to stay aroused but not to the point of going into a full-scale orgasm seems to now captivate a lot of guys, and from the standpoint of enjoying one’s sexuality as well as having sex with a partner I see this as being a very good thing. Further, guys without sexual partners can still have intense pleasure as well. It’s all a matter of “reading” your own body. Does wearing a skimpy swim brief as underwear under your tight-fitting skinny jeans make you feel even more aroused than wearing something bought specifically as underwear? Go right ahead! How about a jock strap as underwear? Do your thing! Whatever makes you happy down there is the correct choice.

So the guys on the porno sites sometimes engage in sessions that last for days in which they attempt to get very aroused but not quite to the point of having an uncontrollable orgasm. Each day they get harder and harder, and with each day that passes it becomes more and more difficult to keep from ejaculating. But that is part of the fun, because the guy somehow knows that when he does finally ejaculate, it is going to be really powerful.

So last night I went into day two of my edging experiment. Another thong. Another strap, another thong and another swim brief. Once again I made it through the night without an orgasm. The cup I was wearing fit really really snug, a goofy-tight fit and I couldn’t do a thing about it.

But as I write this on my computer this morning I am feeling really horny. Unresolved. I’m already thinking about what I might try wearing tonight, to make things even more difficult to deal with. Coping! Male sexuality is all about coping, and doing things to, with and by yourself is a key element of all of that. You too can learn to cope.

Have Fun!

[microbikinidave]

I joined the Board hoping to find a like-minded community of guys who, whether gay or straight, revel in the eroticism of their bodies in general and sexuality in particular. Well, I'm VERY pleased! I fully agree with the points made about male sexuality being a life-long process of discovery and pleasure! I take specific steps daily to not only care for my health and body in general, but also my orgasmic abilities in particular, especially good cumshots. Your comments about the angst many guys put themselves through in regards to clothes in general, and underwear and swimwear in particular, are right on point. Geez, they don't realize what they are missing out on! I have always worked to have time and privacy to masturbate, utilizing the "external and internal squeezes" to prolong the sensations, with some rip-roarin' cumshots all the way to my neck!! I noted in my "Cumshot Confidential" post about the Kegel exercises I do. I'm pleased to report that, at age 68, my initial spurt still goes about 1 foot! I enjoy watching cumshot videos, but have noticed something which puzzles me in regards to a number of the porn actors. They are trying to jack off without any lubricant!! They don't look happy, and their cumshot may not be very large (or enjoyable;OUCH!). They have great bodies, but you wonder if they are REALLY ENJOYING their sexuality!! (Maybe not!) In regards to my first, concious (non-wet-dream) ejaculation, here is my story. Scene: Taking a bath. Privacy. Erections came easy and were fascinating! Soaping up. Hard-ons are easy to wash. Hey, that stroking feels goooood! Let's keep this up a while...whooa...feels like I'm gonna piss!!! WHAM! Several thick spurts of creamy fluid GOOSHED out of my cock!! WOW!!! Off to the races ever since, and I'm starting to think I could show those gay porn actors a thing or two! I'm looking forward to comments as well as first-cumshot experiences from other Board members.

[sebbie]

Part CIII

As a teenager growing up, I probably spent an inordinate time focusing on the sensations I was feeling in my groin area, and in trying to better understand what was happening to me in my body as I grew just a bit older each day. Compared with today’s teenagers, information sources relating to sexuality, and in particular male sexuality were few. There was no cable TV, no Internet, and certainly few places that one could go to find answers to questions I almost invariably thought were far too complicated and embarrassing to ask anyone.

Still, I was growing up on a farm. Cattle and sheep were breeding ind having lambs and calves regularly. So far as the mechanics of relationship sex occurred in livestock by the time I was 13, I had probably seen a lot more stuff than the “town kids” had, given that the town kids were not raising livestock like I was.

But there was something missing—maybe a lot missing. I knew all but nothing about relationship sex as practiced between two human beings. Of course, I had a loving mom and dad, and the mere fact that I was there said a lot. They were inclined to say nothing about the details of what exactly went on between them. But still, exactly what went on between two human beings with respect to partner sex was largely uncharted territory.

The other interesting part of this story is that about this point in time I discovered that I really liked being a loner, at least most of the time. I had a few close male friends, but most of the other guys seemed to be primarily focused on the females in the class, and were taking early steps in forming bonding relationships with members of the female class. I was never very comfortable chatting with females, even as a lot of the guys seemed to thrive on that. This activity still mostly makes me uncomfortable. Over time I have gradually learned how to cope in such situations where chattering with members of the opposite sex is required, but I still have a desire to get out from the situation as quickly and as painlessly as possible. This is just a place where I do not want to be stuck, and I cannot imagine having to deal with it on a daily basis. The Covid shutdowns have not been a problem for me as I just continue to live my life pretty much the same way I always have---I do not need to interact with other people to be comfortable and that has actually proven now to be a great strength not a weakness.

I suppose that given what you have just read, some of you would perhaps conclude that this is the description of someone who is asexual. But if you have read any of my other chapters here you will probably conclude that is definitely not the case. It is just that being in a sexual relationship with another person is not the center of my life, or for that matter any real part of my life. There are, of course, times that I feel quite horny, but In order to get into that condition generally I have not been mulling over the nuances of how it could be to be having partner sex.

Sexual relationships as a rule do not last forever. Guys get divorced, spouses can die or even just lose interest in sex. And when something like this happens, guys often completely fall apart both mentally and physically. It is here when having a backup plan for enjoying your own male body can really be helpful. And any backup plan of necessity is likely going to involve getting the best out of one’s own body in much the same way guys handled their sexual feelings when they were 12 or 13. Almost invariably we are discussing solo sex here also known as the “M” word.

Now I realize that one of the great taboos in male sexuality is that the vast majority of guys of any age would never care to admit that they now masturbate of even did masturbate at one point in their lives, because the entire male society is built around relationship sex most acceptably with a female partner. And guys who do not regularly get to have sex with a female partner are frowned on as being in an unfortunate but hopefully temporary situation. The wild idea that male sexuality just possibly take on other forms of pleasure is a nonstarter in a relationship-centered society.

Despite what I have just told you, all sorts on interesting sensations come out of my groin area, sometime in the context of this goofy mix of the psychological and the physical. I can easily feel horny even without thinking for an instant about being with a sexual partner. I view this not as a “9defect” of some sort, but rather a talent that allows me to navigate waters that would pose difficulties for guys who are fixated on having partner sex for every release. This whole world of guys getting charged for crimes involving attempting to have sex with a partner who does not want to have sex seems like a crazy place to me—a place so far off in another alien planet that I do not even have to think about it.

What I know for sure is that guys can get horny in situations that do not involve a sex partner or even a potential sex partner. And being horny every guy knows is potentially the first stage in masturbating perhaps to ejaculation and without being fully in control. This possibility drives guys bananas because that means that whatever makes a guy feel horny in such a situation must be immediately shut down or the worst could happen—an uncontrollable and obvious ejaculation that somehow happened when everything went out of control, all right in front of a bunch of his male peers.

We have discussed some of the most interesting instances over and over where guys might worry about this. The classic example is the instance of the swim coach requiring that the team members all wear the team swim brief for the upcoming meet—the little league coach expecting all the players to wear a jock and cup when participating in the sport, but there are others. Just shopping for clothes can be the source of some “strange” feelings for many guys. The current underwear departments seem filled with designs that are meant to make a guy feel horny. It used to be that guys went to Victoria’s Secret to buy sexy clothing for their wives or female partners to wear, but this is considered nowadays not to be a politically-correct thing for a guy to ever do. Nowadays, women may more likely shop for underwear for their MALE sexual partner—designs that are sure to make him get feeling horny as a prelude to having sex.

Then there is the whole parade of compression gear—shorts, tees and running tights that not only fit snuggly but emphasize male bulges in critical areas. What is up with THAT, anyway? And the skinny jeans! Ahh the jeans. Is it good for a guy’s jeans to fit so snug that it is obvious that a guy’s groin area is not shaped the same as that of a female, and how is it that the men’s jeans retailers are selling jeans that are designed to fit so snug that they look like a painted-on second “skin” and how do those feel in the groin? Is it possible to go into an uncontrollable ejaculation simply by wearing a pair of snug-fitting jeans? Of course!

Unlike when a guy is 13, once a guy has grown into adulthood, being able to get horny enough to go into a full-scale ejaculation without being with a sexual partner might be seen as a huge advantage, a useful skill to have mastered, and not a problem of any sort.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part CIII

As a teenager growing up, I probably spent an inordinate time focusing on the sensations I was feeling in my groin area, and in trying to better understand what was happening to me in my body as I grew just a bit older each day. Compared with today’s teenagers, information sources relating to sexuality, and in particular male sexuality were few. There was no cable TV, no Internet, and certainly few places that one could go to find answers to questions I almost invariably thought were far too complicated and embarrassing to ask anyone.

Still, I was growing up on a farm. Cattle and sheep were breeding ind having lambs and calves regularly. So far as the mechanics of relationship sex occurred in livestock by the time I was 13, I had probably seen a lot more stuff than the “town kids” had, given that the town kids were not raising livestock like I was.

But there was something missing—maybe a lot missing. I knew all but nothing about relationship sex as practiced between two human beings. Of course, I had a loving mom and dad, and the mere fact that I was there said a lot. They were inclined to say nothing about the details of what exactly went on between them. But still, exactly what went on between two human beings with respect to partner sex was largely uncharted territory.

The other interesting part of this story is that about this point in time I discovered that I really liked being a loner, at least most of the time. I had a few close male friends, but most of the other guys seemed to be primarily focused on the females in the class, and were taking early steps in forming bonding relationships with members of the female class. I was never very comfortable chatting with females, even as a lot of the guys seemed to thrive on that. This activity still mostly makes me uncomfortable. Over time I have gradually learned how to cope in such situations where chattering with members of the opposite sex is required, but I still have a desire to get out from the situation as quickly and as painlessly as possible. This is just a place where I do not want to be stuck, and I cannot imagine having to deal with it on a daily basis. The Covid shutdowns have not been a problem for me as I just continue to live my life pretty much the same way I always have---I do not need to interact with other people to be comfortable and that has actually proven now to be a great strength not a weakness.

I suppose that given what you have just read, some of you would perhaps conclude that this is the description of someone who is asexual. But if you have read any of my other chapters here you will probably conclude that is definitely not the case. It is just that being in a sexual relationship with another person is not the center of my life, or for that matter any real part of my life. There are, of course, times that I feel quite horny, but In order to get into that condition generally I have not been mulling over the nuances of how it could be to be having partner sex.

Sexual relationships as a rule do not last forever. Guys get divorced, spouses can die or even just lose interest in sex. And when something like this happens, guys often completely fall apart both mentally and physically. It is here when having a backup plan for enjoying your own male body can really be helpful. And any backup plan of necessity is likely going to involve getting the best out of one’s own body in much the same way guys handled their sexual feelings when they were 12 or 13. Almost invariably we are discussing solo sex here also known as the “M” word.

Now I realize that one of the great taboos in male sexuality is that the vast majority of guys of any age would never care to admit that they now masturbate of even did masturbate at one point in their lives, because the entire male society is built around relationship sex most acceptably with a female partner. And guys who do not regularly get to have sex with a female partner are frowned on as being in an unfortunate but hopefully temporary situation. The wild idea that male sexuality just possibly take on other forms of pleasure is a nonstarter in a relationship-centered society.

Despite what I have just told you, all sorts on interesting sensations come out of my groin area, sometime in the context of this goofy mix of the psychological and the physical. I can easily feel horny even without thinking for an instant about being with a sexual partner. I view this not as a “9defect” of some sort, but rather a talent that allows me to navigate waters that would pose difficulties for guys who are fixated on having partner sex for every release. This whole world of guys getting charged for crimes involving attempting to have sex with a partner who does not want to have sex seems like a crazy place to me—a place so far off in another alien planet that I do not even have to think about it.

What I know for sure is that guys can get horny in situations that do not involve a sex partner or even a potential sex partner. And being horny every guy knows is potentially the first stage in masturbating perhaps to ejaculation and without being fully in control. This possibility drives guys bananas because that means that whatever makes a guy feel horny in such a situation must be immediately shut down or the worst could happen—an uncontrollable and obvious ejaculation that somehow happened when everything went out of control, all right in front of a bunch of his male peers.

We have discussed some of the most interesting instances over and over where guys might worry about this. The classic example is the instance of the swim coach requiring that the team members all wear the team swim brief for the upcoming meet—the little league coach expecting all the players to wear a jock and cup when participating in the sport, but there are others. Just shopping for clothes can be the source of some “strange” feelings for many guys. The current underwear departments seem filled with designs that are meant to make a guy feel horny. It used to be that guys went to Victoria’s Secret to buy sexy clothing for their wives or female partners to wear, but this is considered nowadays not to be a politically-correct thing for a guy to ever do. Nowadays, women may more likely shop for underwear for their MALE sexual partner—designs that are sure to make him get feeling horny as a prelude to having sex.

Then there is the whole parade of compression gear—shorts, tees and running tights that not only fit snuggly but emphasize male bulges in critical areas. What is up with THAT, anyway? And the skinny jeans! Ahh the jeans. Is it good for a guy’s jeans to fit so snug that it is obvious that a guy’s groin area is not shaped the same as that of a female, and how is it that the men’s jeans retailers are selling jeans that are designed to fit so snug that they look like a painted-on second “skin” and how do those feel in the groin? Is it possible to go into an uncontrollable ejaculation simply by wearing a pair of snug-fitting jeans? Of course!

Unlike when a guy is 13, once a guy has grown into adulthood, being able to get horny enough to go into a full-scale ejaculation without being with a sexual partner might be seen as a huge advantage, a useful skill to have mastered, and not a problem of any sort.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part CIII

As a teenager growing up, I probably spent an inordinate time focusing on the sensations I was feeling in my groin area, and in trying to better understand what was happening to me in my body as I grew just a bit older each day. Compared with today’s teenagers, information sources relating to sexuality, and in particular male sexuality were few. There was no cable TV, no Internet, and certainly few places that one could go to find answers to questions I almost invariably thought were far too complicated and embarrassing to ask anyone.

Still, I was growing up on a farm. Cattle and sheep were breeding ind having lambs and calves regularly. So far as the mechanics of relationship sex occurred in livestock by the time I was 13, I had probably seen a lot more stuff than the “town kids” had, given that the town kids were not raising livestock like I was.

But there was something missing—maybe a lot missing. I knew all but nothing about relationship sex as practiced between two human beings. Of course, I had a loving mom and dad, and the mere fact that I was there said a lot. They were inclined to say nothing about the details of what exactly went on between them. But still, exactly what went on between two human beings with respect to partner sex was largely uncharted territory.

The other interesting part of this story is that about this point in time I discovered that I really liked being a loner, at least most of the time. I had a few close male friends, but most of the other guys seemed to be primarily focused on the females in the class, and were taking early steps in forming bonding relationships with members of the female class. I was never very comfortable chatting with females, even as a lot of the guys seemed to thrive on that. This activity still mostly makes me uncomfortable. Over time I have gradually learned how to cope in such situations where chattering with members of the opposite sex is required, but I still have a desire to get out from the situation as quickly and as painlessly as possible. This is just a place where I do not want to be stuck, and I cannot imagine having to deal with it on a daily basis. The Covid shutdowns have not been a problem for me as I just continue to live my life pretty much the same way I always have---I do not need to interact with other people to be comfortable and that has actually proven now to be a great strength not a weakness.

I suppose that given what you have just read, some of you would perhaps conclude that this is the description of someone who is asexual. But if you have read any of my other chapters here you will probably conclude that is definitely not the case. It is just that being in a sexual relationship with another person is not the center of my life, or for that matter any real part of my life. There are, of course, times that I feel quite horny, but In order to get into that condition generally I have not been mulling over the nuances of how it could be to be having partner sex.

Sexual relationships as a rule do not last forever. Guys get divorced, spouses can die or even just lose interest in sex. And when something like this happens, guys often completely fall apart both mentally and physically. It is here when having a backup plan for enjoying your own male body can really be helpful. And any backup plan of necessity is likely going to involve getting the best out of one’s own body in much the same way guys handled their sexual feelings when they were 12 or 13. Almost invariably we are discussing solo sex here also known as the “M” word.

Now I realize that one of the great taboos in male sexuality is that the vast majority of guys of any age would never care to admit that they now masturbate of even did masturbate at one point in their lives, because the entire male society is built around relationship sex most acceptably with a female partner. And guys who do not regularly get to have sex with a female partner are frowned on as being in an unfortunate but hopefully temporary situation. The wild idea that male sexuality just possibly take on other forms of pleasure is a nonstarter in a relationship-centered society.

Despite what I have just told you, all sorts on interesting sensations come out of my groin area, sometime in the context of this goofy mix of the psychological and the physical. I can easily feel horny even without thinking for an instant about being with a sexual partner. I view this not as a “defect” of some sort, but rather a talent that allows me to navigate waters that would pose difficulties for guys who are fixated on having partner sex for every release. This whole world of guys getting charged for crimes involving attempting to have sex with a partner who does not want to have sex seems like a crazy place to me—a place so far off in another alien planet that I do not even have to think about it.

What I know for sure is that guys can get horny in situations that do not involve a sex partner or even a potential sex partner. And being horny every guy knows is potentially the first stage in masturbating perhaps to ejaculation and without being fully in control. This possibility drives guys bananas because that means that whatever makes a guy feel horny in such a situation must be immediately shut down or the worst could happen—an uncontrollable and obvious ejaculation that somehow happened when everything went out of control, all right in front of a bunch of his male peers.

We have discussed some of the most interesting instances over and over where guys might worry about this. The classic example is the instance of the swim coach requiring that the team members all wear the team swim brief for the upcoming meet—the little league coach expecting all the players to wear a jock and cup when participating in the sport, but there are others. Just shopping for clothes can be the source of some “strange” feelings for many guys. The current underwear departments seem filled with designs that are meant to make a guy feel horny. It used to be that guys went to Victoria’s Secret to buy sexy clothing for their wives or female partners to wear, but this is considered nowadays not to be a politically-correct thing for a guy to ever do. Nowadays, women may more likely shop for underwear for their MALE sexual partner—designs that are sure to make him get feeling horny as a prelude to having sex.

Then there is the whole parade of compression gear—shorts, tees and running tights that not only fit snuggly but emphasize male bulges in critical areas. What is up with THAT, anyway? And the skinny jeans! Ahh the jeans. Is it good for a guy’s jeans to fit so snug that it is obvious that a guy’s groin area is not shaped the same as that of a female, and how is it that the men’s jeans retailers are selling jeans that are designed to fit so snug that they look like a painted-on second “skin” and how do those feel in the groin? Is it possible to go into an uncontrollable ejaculation simply by wearing a pair of snug-fitting jeans? Of course!

Unlike when a guy is 13, once a guy has grown into adulthood, being able to get horny enough to go into a full-scale ejaculation without being with a sexual partner might be seen as a huge advantage, a useful skill to have mastered, and not a problem of any sort.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part CIV

Male sexual arousal is always this complicated mixture of the psychological along with the physical sensations. Starting at puberty, and maybe before, guys’ psyches are bombarded with the idea that while male sexuality is a lot of fun, the key to being able to enjoy your own body as a male human being is all about building a relationship with a sexual partner—most often female but perhaps another male.

Every guy who has made it through puberty knows that he can easily get aroused and get goofy fun feelings without being in the presence of a sexual partner—but frequently the stimuli still involve activities between two people, say on an Internet video—which the guy is often scared to watch but he does it anyway, in part writing it off as a “learning experience” so he will know exactly what he should do at the point in his life when he does get involved with a real sexual partner.

In another place entirely is the idea that a guy can get sexually aroused to the point of ejaculating without even thinking about being with a sexual partner. Every guy by the time he turns 14 already has had any number of experiences that prove this, but this is one of the darkest secrets of male sexuality as in “I know I jerk off whenever I get in a private enough of a situation that I am relaxed enough so that I won’t be discovered but I would never tell anyone what I have been doing least of all any of my male friends my age”. Guys may even attempt to somehow research the question of what their male peers do and how they handle this part of who they are, but the data are often limited.

Then there is the issue of what exactly is helpful in stimulating arousal in a guy who wants to jerk off on a regular basis. I presume that my readers here have all experienced jerking off while wearing a swim brief. This is the part that gets really interesting. How is it anyway, that the mere act of actually being able to crawl into a swim brief—something that that seems not all linked to a relationship or partner sex—can get a guy so aroused? That is really strange and goofy, or is it? Does the fact that I get turned on this way mean that I am gay and would prefer another guy to a female as a sexual partner? What gives, anyway? If put in the same situation would my peer males have the same “response” to wearing a swim brief? Is this common among guys, or am I the only guy in existence that somehow thinks jerking off in a swim brief might be way fun? What exactly is it about the swim brief that sets me off, arousal wise? It seems crazy, but I also like being in this situation a lot except that I sure hope no one else ever finds out that I have this weird “affliction”?

A fun mind-game is to think back at the first time you actually got your own swim brief. What are the details of your personal experience? Were you a swimmer and this was a requirement for all the team members? Did you ask your parents to buy you one because you “needed” it for school? Did you get to go shopping for your brief on your own? And how did you feel physically and psychologically when all of this was going on? Were you aroused simply by thinking about what was happening? Did you have male peers you knew were “stuck” in the same situation and if so how were they coping?

Now, guys generally don’t get a hard-on every time something touches the penis, and that is fortunate. But by the time a guy turns 14 he already knows that merely wearing clothing covering the groin will not likely get him an instant erection, and guys are thankful for that. Still, by age 14 guys know that their penises are quite sensitive to certain kinds of rubbing or touching. Heck, a successful jerk-off session is all about rubbing all the right places in just the right way. But one could make the case that the same holds true for successful partner sex. There are nerve endings down there, and they are nerves that love being stimulated that way. This is at the heart of who we are as males for goodness sakes.

I’ve thought long and hard about what makes a swim brief so special with regard to sending fun signals to arousal central. I think it’s a combination of things. Penises love being in snug places, but especially snug spaces with slick and smooth walls. And the fabric of a swim brief not only fits snuggly, but is way slick and smooth. Maybe not as snug, slick and smooth as the walls of a vagina, but still a fascinating place to have one’s anatomy inside.

All I know is that I wanted to have a swim brief from the very first time I saw a guy wearing one, but a particular turn-on for me was seeing a guy’s penis outline pointed upward with the underside of his penis pressed firmly against the slick, stretchy pouch cloth. That guy must really be enjoying his situation and I really want to be in the same situation he is in.

Does my fascination with this mean I have a gay side? Would any gay guy be turned on just by seeing a guy wearing a swim brief pointed up like this? Well, swim briefs do seem to play more of a role in the gay world than in the straight world, but I can only guess.

Getting back to the main story here, another question is what was your first experience that happened after you crawled into the swim brief that you got for the very first time. I would have been horny as all get out in that regard and wanting to “try it on” to experience the sensations as soon as I thought I could get some privacy. What I would have really had in mind was to break-in the brief by jerking off in it to ejaculation. Then I would have had to rinse off the ejaculate and allow it to dry. But I would have been thinking that maybe if I got this over with for one time I would be starting to get “used” to the idea of wearing it, and the second time would not be as traumatic (or fun) and so on, so that I could eventually wear the brief without any fear at all of uncontrollably going into an orgasm. Or maybe not. My big question would have been whether the other guys my age were also having to deal with something very similar to what I was going through. Had they known what happened to me, some of my peers may have tried to claim that my ejaculating in the swim brief was clear evidence that I was gay, and that is not something most guys would want to have happen. Dark secrets here.

Jerking off in a swim brief is not something that a guy suddenly loses interest in doing as he enters young adulthood. More generally sex therapists like to say that guys gradually quit jerking off alone so much as they build bonds with sexual partners. If so, this means that jerking off in a swim brief is not something most married guys would ever do because partner sex is both better and more enjoyable. What does a guy do if he still is fond of jerking off in a swim brief after he has established bonds with whoever wants to be a sexual partner? If that partner finds out about the guy’s “affliction” how will the partner cope? The whole subject of solo male sex poses some knotty issues for guys but I presume more so for straight guys with female partners than for gay guys, given that most women are taught that she should be the sole source of sexual pleasure for a guy, and a guy jerking off in a swim brief simply does not compute in that world. For two gay guys, the idea of mutually enjoying a swim brief jerk-off session seems tame as both guys are on the same page sexually.

Still, the question I always have is that there seems to be a lot more sales of swim briefs on line than I see swimmers wearing briefs at the pool or beach. Might it be that many guys buy these simply because they enjoy jerking off in them? Maybe I am not alone in this respect.

To be continued…

[microbikinidave]

Here is what I mean by the "Big Picture:" let's assume we are dealing with a straight couple who work out regularly and love wearing micro-wear at the beach (and wear micro-underwear as well). They have a strong and satisfying sex life and marriage, and are faithful to each other. Like other guys, this gentleman began jacking off at an early age, and really likes it. Now, say his wife is out of town for a few days attending a conference in connection with her job. Our guy friend is going to enjoy jacking off while she is gone. And what do you suppose our lady friend is going to do as well with that rather LONG, FIRM "helper" she made sure to pack? Soon, she's back home and they are "together" again. Both enjoyed periods of satisfying masturbation when they could not be together. And there is another good reason for any guy, gay or straight, to be good at jacking off WHEN he has a partner: he can jack off while his partner enjoys watching and shoot several spurts on his partner's boobs (or pecs!) and abs! He can also jack off and shoot several spurts for oral cumshots or facials. So there is a lot to be said for jacking off throughout life!