Thoughts on just being a guy

[sebbie]

Part LXXX

Finding a properly-fitting garment almost always involves something of an “empirical experiment.” I never quite know what I am getting myself into until I actually am able to try the garment on and, especially, get to see how I look in the mirror.

This statement applies to a wide range of garments, swimming briefs and thongs, briefs and thongs designed to be worn as underwear not as swimwear, compression gear style underwear. Plus, what invariably enters the equation is the particular “mood” that I am in at the time I am making my decisions with respect to what I will be wearing that day.

I have been doing some reading from a collection of sources on my favorite subject, male sexuality, with a particular reference to what is going on around the clock with respect to the male sexual organs. Some “viable” males are in a sexual relationship with a partner, but there are also a lot of (us) “loners” out there, that is, guys who for a host of different reasons are not engaged in regular partner sex.

I have long-believed that guys who are not having partner sex on a regular basis should be denied the pleasures of still being a “sexually-active” male. Meanwhile I have been reading the literature on rehabilitation after prostate cancer surgery (that would be me, for example) and, oddly enough, I have been running into some interesting ideas that could be applied not only to recovering from prostate surgery but also for practically any “viable” male of any age. A of what I am reading seems to focus on guys who have a female sexual partner, and how she might be able to actively “participate” in the prostate surgery recovery process. The guy who lives alone, immensely enjoys masturbating, and just wants to get back to enjoying himself as he did pre-surgery apparently is not a significant concern for the medical profession, as every step in the recovery process is focused on rebuilding an an ability to get and maintain an erection sufficient to have intercourse.

Still, what I have been learning is rather interesting. Biologically, it is normal for males past puberty to have erections during the night that occur in multiple cycles of tumescence and flaccidity , perhaps as many as 6 or 8 cycles in a single night! (I thought the number was closer to 1 or 2). As any 14-year old, at least some of these erections end up being a wet dreams that conclude as the guy ejaculates during the night, though these full ejaculatory events taper off and become less frequent usually once a guy gets into his late teens and gets into a regular schedule of masturbating to ejaculation in the waking hours of the day. (This brings me back to the popularity of single rooms in college dorms.)

Still, these regular tumescence-flaccidity cycles of multiple erections are a normal part of the night life of healthy males whether that male has a sexual partner sleeping next to him or not. Furthermore, the cycles that occur during the night occur for a purpose and are vital in maintaining a guy’s sexual health. For guys not in a sexually-active relationship, a regular masturbation schedule (perhaps every day or two at least) can be thought of as a form of “exercise” not unlike me getting on my stationary bike or rowing machine on a daily basis (which is also important for sexual health because the continuing exercise makes the heart and blood flow better. The combination of the two forms of exercise is perfect!

So, what is a guy to do? In particular, what about the guy who for whatever reason does not have a sexual partner? One of the side effects of prostate surgery is that nerves are damaged and that results in a breakdown in these normal nighttime cycles of tumescence and flaccidity, and that this whole system needs to be rehabilitated.

But, most guys do not face this situation. My general conclusion is that it is at least as important for a guy living alone to be feeling horny as he crawls into bed as it is for a happily-married guy who has a partner beside him willing and ready for partner-sex with copulation. Maybe more important! Let me say that again. Maybe more important!

The only catch is in finding a unique path which assures that you will feel horny as you crawl into bed. Of course, there are lots of things a guy can do to help this along. Some of this involves mental activities such as watching a sexy movie or reading a story that is sexually arousing. What you want to try and do is create a situation whereby your penis will be certain to go through cycles of tumescence and flaccidity during the night, and if a porno video or sexually-arousing book does this for you, great!

But sexual sensations and feelings are always a goofy mix of the physical and the psychological. Guys would not have Web sites devoted to the wonders of wearing swim briefs if there was not something physical happening that was sexually arousing, for example. Nor would guys spend time energy and money finding potentially sexually-arousing gear (see list at the start of this chapter). The stuff a guy enjoys wearing for a masturbation episode is exactly what it is also needed to keep a guy horny enough so that his body goes through these multiple episodes of tumescence and flaccidity during the night and no guy should feel even a little bit guilty about doing this on a regular basis.

Ever since my prostate surgery over 5 years ago, I have been in this mode of being able to recover to the point where I enjoy my sexual being as much as I enjoyed being a guy prior to surgery. Only last night I learned that medical doctors believe that for guys who lack sexual partners, getting back to a regular masturbation schedule as quickly as possible after the surgery is complete is an important part of the rehab process post-surgery. (Fortunately, that is what I found myself trying to do anyway and I started working on this fairly soon after surgery, even though my erections were obviously not nearly as strong as they were before surgery.)

It turns out, the “stunts” I was doing bedtime-wise before surgery are equally important for what is called by MDs as “penis rehab”. That is, I want to try and make sure I am doing things that make me feel horny just before crawling into bed. Indeed, it is best to feel horny but NOT immediately take that to orgasm to increase the odds of getting back into a regular set of nighttime tumescence cycles. But this idea applies equally to guys who have NOT had prostate surgery and simply are interested in doing “exercises” to help ensure that the plumbing is all in first-class condition. If this is “treatment” is also fun to do, that is a “side” benefit.

So, think of a snug-fitting swim brief as the equivalent of a stationary bike or a rowing machine, but for helping maintain and improve the health of your male sexual organs. Wear one that you are particularly fond of to bed. It’s the combination of snug fit along with the slick, smooth cloth that will help your penis get erect and go through these critical cycles of tumescence and flaccidity. If, by doing this, at some time during the night you end up ejaculating, well, congratulations. You have taken the process one step farther. Make your resolution to be that you are never going to crawl into bed without making certain that your mind is telling you that you are feeling horny and that you like very much the physical and psychological sensations you are experiencing.

I can’t tell you what specific item you should wear to bed to make you feel good in this way, except to say that over the years I have accumulated a lot of different items that I thought in some manner would be fun to wear, and I keep changing off. Last night, it was a slick, smooth swim brief, and since the weather was cold I slipped a pair of loose-fitting sleep pants and a tee over. I did not have an orgasm during the night (at least I do not think I did) but I am still feeling quite horny while writing this, even though this morning I’m wearing a snug fitting pair of running tights along with a pair of sweat pants over plus a compression tee and a sweatshirt. All in the name of post-surgical penis rehab ROFL.

Enjoy yourselves as I always try to do.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LXXXI

In the process of reading the current literature regarding penis rehabilitation after prostate surgery, I have been running into a lot of interesting information that might be useful to any guy interested in maintaining and improving his own sexual health. Widely-held myths are being busted wide open right and left.

Part of this is centered on the relationship thing, or, in particular what a guy should be doing to continue maintaining and building his sexual health in the absence of a sexual partner even if living alone without partner sex is what a guy wants to do for whatever reason he might have.

I know that a lot of guys seem to think that the involuntary erections that like to happen during the night are something of an embarrassing nuisance, not something that should rightfully be savored, enjoyed and even encouraged. But, I have read a bunch of different papers by doctors and other sexual health scholars and a common theme is that these multiple nighttime erection cycles are critical to maintaining penis health. Each of these erections engorges the penis with fresh oxygenated arterial blood, and this is crucial to penis health. One author claims that these nighttime erections put your penis into an exercise program analogous to an exercise program involving swimming, rowing, weight lifting and bike riding. As you exercise, the muscles getting hit with the exercise of getting fresh oxygenated blood. So think of what is happening in your penis as you get horny and start to get erect as exercise for your penis critical to your overall well-being.

One of the doctors I was reading was discussing post-surgery penis rehab. He noted that it is critical to restore blood flow to the penis as soon as possible after surgery and “I don’t care how you do this. Maybe with the help of a sexual partner, but maybe not. And, if you do not have a sexual partner masturbation achieves the same end.”

So, stimulating yourself is not only very enjoyable but is vital to your sexual health. The whole idea here is that guys need to think about having a regular exercise program for their penises just as they might have a regular exercise plan involving the rest of their bodies. Another popular way of accomplishing this is watching Internet porn videos. You can think of this as just another method of engorging the penis in oxygenated blood.

I know that many of my readers “enjoy” buying and wearing swim briefs, Lycra® compression gear, wrestling singlets, athletic supporters and maybe even super snug-fitting jeans. They have “lists” of skimpy and snug-fitting clothing items that tend to make them horny when worn. Maybe even the mere thought of being able to buy such an item will result in a groin-area response of this sort. Generally, any thought that results in the oozing of a few viscous, glistening drops of precum is also the kind of thought that will improve the oxygenation of and blood flow to the penis. So having these thoughts and enjoying these garments is a very good thing from a sexual health perspective.

I would have the same advice for guys who were once in a relationship with a sexual partner but now are not, for whatever reason. Living alone for a period of time can be quite enjoyable but in a different way from living with a sexual partner. For starters, you now have the opportunity to “do” some things to and with your own body that you might not have felt comfortable doing if another person was there. This goes all the way back to your teen years when you longed for everyone else to occasionally be completely out of the house so that you could “play” with yourself without fear of being “caught” or “interrupted.” Living alone without a regular sexual partner can be quite fun in this respect but you need to have a real plan in place for maintaining and improving your sexual health involving specific “exercises” that you are going to be doing.

I am going to be trying some things in the coming weeks and months that I hope to enjoy a lot but that I have never done before. These ideas oddly enough are an outgrowth of some videos I have been watching related to penis rehab post prostate surgery, but the same ideas could prove valuable for any guy who wants to maintain and improve his sexual health and especially for guys who for whatever reason do not have regular sex with a partner.

To be continued…
[/php]

[sebbie]

Part LXXXII

Every guy loves to jerk off. I think I was hooked on the practice by age 13. At my current age you might have thought that by now I would have explored all the possibilities and sensations that are possible, and that I would be getting perhaps even a bit “bored” with it as there would no longer be anything interesting to try or explore.

I think a lot of guys believe in the normal process of aging, that they will gradually become less and less interested in playing with themselves this way. My only observation is that as a guy ages, ejaculations become less frequent, gradually declining from say, once a day to once a week. But I have often thought that also, as a guy ages, his interest in getting to the ejaculation part as soon as possible may decline, but this is accompanied by a gradually increasing enjoyment of the events going on in a guy’s body that might lead up to the point where his body starts creating those involuntary herky-jerky muscle contractions that occur when ejaculation is happening.

Part of these thoughts go back to counseling I had after prostate surgery in which a nurse explained that erections and orgasms were separate events, and one could have a strong orgasm without having a significant erection. I had figured that part already, in my hot tub. I knew it would be fun to press the underside of my penis against the pulsating water coming out of a jet on the side of the tub. Instant orgasm: Well not totally instant, but within ten seconds you will feel as if semen is literally being sucked from your body. If you are at all built like me you will ejaculate in about 10 seconds out of an all but flaccid penis.

This is fun to try, at least for once or twice. If you do not have a hot tub handy, maybe you have a hand vibrator. If so, start it up and immediately press it against the underside glans area at the tip of your penis. Again, you should go into full orgasm mode within 10 or 15 seconds. A fun experiment, but… Well, at least you have proven in for yourself that an erection is not necessary to ejaculate, which is exactly what the nurse was telling me as well.

So, I keep thinking about all of events that happen in my groin from the very first moment of arousal all the way to an orgasm. I keep thinking back to my nights in my teen years when I was trying to avoid making a mess of my pajamas and the sheets during the night, and my worrying that if others observed the stains and wet spots that happened (seemingly often not to be under my control) this could be very embarrassing. Still, I was “hooked” on the entire process. I was very fond of what my body was able to do.

Take the first moment of arousal. I quickly learned to associate that moment with the formation of a drop or two of precum, and I could immediately feel that wet spot right at my penis tip and that sensation is quickly interpreted by my brain as “feeling horny”.

Now a few drops of precum are much easier for a guy to deal with than a full-blown ejaculation. For starters, a guy’s penis is not hard when this happens, or only minimally so. Assuming the guy is wearing absorbent underwear, it is not likely that the damp spot there will work its way through to his jeans. And, a guy can ooze precum for a long period of time undetected.

Getting into a swim brief in this state is another matter. I realize a lot of guys worry about the possibility that fitting themselves into a swim brief will lead to a full-blown erection and ejaculation, but the more common problem is that getting into the brief causes the guy to ooze precum in a minimally-erect state and that these damp spots will show. The solution, of course is to jump in the water ASAP and that will be that.

Generally, a guy wearing stretch underwear made of a polyester-Lycra® blend “likes” the feel of the fabric against his body irrespective of the design—bikini brief, bigger brief, or any design with longer legs such as a square cut with short legs, mid-thigh or even a jammer cut that goes nearly knee-length. But in addition to the psychological stimulation from the smooth stretch fabric leading to oozing, the stretch fabrics are less absorbent than old school knit underwear is, potentially creating a situation whereby the guy is oozing so much that damp spots start to show on his jeans.

Still, the guy loves how that slick fabric fits and feels. And then there is the problem of how other guys your age might react to seeing you wearing whatever you are wearing in a situation such as inside a gym locker room. One dare not stray too far from what the other guys are wearing! So there is a herding instinct that affects guys who are interested in making sure that their underwear choice fits in with what the other guys are doing and wearing.

At age 72, living alone, I have no concerns about fitting in with my peers or pleasing anyone but myself. As I have indicated in the previous chapter, I have all sorts of different things that can possibly be used as sleepwear on any given night. And, as I previously have indicated as well, it is important to a guy’s overall health to make sure that the normal cycles that occur during the night in which the penis partially fills with blood and then drains continue to occur throughout a guy’s life. So the idea of wearing something to bed every night that fits snug and feels slick against your penis is not only enjoyable but is a great way for maintaining and improving an important part of who you are as a guy. I try to do something different every night—mix it up so my body (my penis) has something new to confront and cope with on a nightly basis in this respect. This basic idea to support penis health comes highly recommended.

I have also been digging through the literature relating to the use of penis pumps as a means of helping sustain and improve blood flow and how regular use of one can help in ensuring that something close to a normal nighttime cycle can be sustained. I will have more to say about this in the coming chapters as I run some more experiments, but let me make just two points now.

First, just as it is possible to have an orgasm without having an erection, the converse is also true, and you quickly discover this in experiments using a penis pump. The pump can build you an erection more quickly than you would be able to do it manually. And further, once you have that erection you can sustain it without any real feeling of urgency to enter full-orgasm mode. Of course, you can still masturbate the erection you created with the pump to an orgasm via whatever method you employed in the past, but you can also just hang with the erection for awhile without doing this. From a post-surgical rehab perspective, the ideal thing to do is to just hang with the erection you created using a pump for 20 minutes as the blood vessels in your penis are getting oxygenated from the new blood flow, which is a good thing both rehab and general heath wise. (My only regret is that I should have been doing this starting 6 weeks after surgery not 6 years!)

Second, penis pumps are inexpensive, can be bought on line, and have minimal if any negative side effects. They exist in a crazy world between medical device for the treatment of a erection problem and a sex toy for recreational use. I have an electronic version and a purely mechanical one for which I do my own pumping. The electronic version (about $30) is really well made and it works really well. But for my rehabbing. I think I prefer the simple mechanical one as I get to control exactly when more blood gets to flow into my penis. Here is a link for the latter

https://www.ebay.com/itm/8-Male-Men-...72.m2749.l2649

You will also need a water soluble sexual lubricant such as Astroglide or KY gel. That runs about $6 on line.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LXXXIV

I am assuming that my readers have never owned or tried using a penis pump. Penis pumps are used for a variety of different reasons. There are FDA-approved medical devices that are obtained using a prescription from a medical doctor, most often to allow a person who has had prostate surgery or radiation treatments to be able to have partner sex. But more generally they could be a medical device for treating erectile dysfunction arising from any source, as an alternative to ED pills and injections or as an alternative to penile-implant surgery (which is much like implanting a penis pump permanently inside your body).

The beauty of a penis pump as an ED treatment device is that there are no side effects such as those common to pills and injections, nor do they involve any surgery. The FDA-approved devices obtained via a prescription typically run $200-500 since technically they are a piece of medical equipment, and medical equipment always has a big markup.

But a penis pump could have health benefits for those not under the care of an MD for ED. For starters a guy’s penis is healthy in large measure because of the oxygenated blood that flows in and out of the penis over and over in nighttime erection cycles, regardless of whether or not the guy is having sex with a partner on a regular basis. As guys get older, this system likely gradually works less efficiently than it did at a younger age, and erections take longer to obtain and more difficult to maintain even with a lot of sexual stimuli.

Then too, a lot of guys have always longed for having a body in which their mind could turn an erection on and off like a water faucet completely by using conscious mind control. As any 16-year old knows, this is not quite the way it works. Guys, this could be your opportunity to accomplish control of your erection with the aid of a penis pump.

Then there are the recreational/appearance issues, as in wanting to look more amply endowed even when you are flaccid, as in filling out your bulge so you look better when wearing your Speedo®. Plus, it might be interesting to see a pump enlarge your penis instead of the techniques you have employed yourself ever since puberty.

So, the sales of low-cost penis pumps sold as recreational and general health-enhancing devices have skyrocketed relative to expensive ones sold under medical prescription (destined to be used as a medical treatment for ED). There are medical uses and recreational uses for penis pumps as well as some uses that are both.

From here I will assume that my readers do not own nor have ever used a penis pump, and what I am writing in detail here is all new. That was the situation I was in two weeks ago.

I want for all of my readers to look at the penis pump illustration I have attached. This is a very basic manual penis pump available on Ebay for about $12. The pump consists of a 2 inch x 8 inch clear polycarbonate plastic cylinder 8 inches long and 2 inches in diameter. That’s bigger than most guys’ fully erect penises. One end is closed except for a small plastic tube that connects to a device capable of creating a vacuum simply by squeezing an oval rubber bulb over and over. The pump itself also has a valve that when pressed the vacuum is released and normal air pressure.

Except, of course the other end is completely open, so no vacuum is created unless the other end is closed off. That is accomplished using one of the three silicone rubber rings shown in red, blue and peach color. The user of the device chooses one of the three based on the diameter of his flaccid penis, small, medium or large. One of these is chosen and the large end of the silicone ring is placed over the open end of the clear plastic cylinder.

You do not have to even attempt to stick your flaccid penis through the hole in the silicone ring. Just put the penis tip partly into the hole in the silicone ring. With your penis in that position press the device against your groin to create a seal between your body and the pump.

At this point I want to stop for the moment and have you determine what is going on in your head and with your body having just read what I have written. Some possible reactions might be:

1. This is the stupidest stuff I have ever read. I can’t imagine ever buying a penis pump or trying this. I can get a hard-on easily without relying on a stupid device like this.
2. Why would a device that is hard plastic and bigger than my best erection ever be even a little fun to be in? My penis has already spent lots of time in places that are a lot snugger, tighter and more sexually interesting and accommodating as well.
3. I dunno, this seems silly but maybe there is more to this than is apparent. I want to read on
4. Psychologically I am starting to feel horny thinking about trying this, and precum is definitely starting to ooze.
5. I’m starting to get an erection just thinking about trying this. Is that going to be a problem? (Not at all!)

So, if you are a reader that falls into category 1 or 2, feel free to stop reading now. I don’t want to pester you about trying something that you are not interested in. However, I suspect that most of my readers fall into category 3 or 4, and are perhaps still somewhat wary about where this is leading.

For beginners at least (like me) I prefer starting messing around by using a manual not powered pump. I ordered both and the powered pump is about $30. The powered pump works great and is very nice quality, but things move along more rapidly than I prefer.

So I am using the manual pump with the silicone rubber ring end pressed against my groin. I’ve put a “personal lubricant (Astroglide)" on the silicone rubber ring and on my flaccid penis! I give the rubber bulb just one squeeze and the tip of my penis is sucked into the device. Cool! Way neat sensation! I can simply continue to hold the device to my groin and contemplate the “predicament” my penis is in. You know me. I love getting my penis into a situation where I don’t quite know what will happen next.

But why not squeeze the bulb again, creating a bit more vacuum? I do that and some of the shaft starts pulling into the device. I am starting to get an erection even without any overt sexual stimuli. I can’t touch my penis either as it is inside the device. This is way goofy thing to do or way neat, or maybe a little of both.

I can either just hang that way for awhile. I’m really starting to “enjoy” my newly-created penis-pump erection. It’s not exactly like a traditional one, but an erection created like this is more than OK too.

So, moment-by-moment I get to just stay with the erection I have and the vacuum level I have, or give the bulb one more squeeze and see what happens with just a touch more vacuum. Just like in leisurely masturbation, I want to take the time to contemplate and enjoy every moment and squeeze. I could hang for 30 minutes with only a slight vacuum or not watching my penis get oxygenated. This is the part that seems more difficult to do with the powered pump. I’m quickly learning that it’s best not to be in a hurry, even if a quick full erection is easy. So, what else is new? Why am I not surprised? In any form of male “self abuse” slow is better than fast and the stuff you learned over the years while masturbating slowly also applies here.

I suspect many of you are wonder what you can do with a penis-pump-induced erection and how you can go from wearing the pump to just having a big and perhaps useful erection with the pump removed.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LXXXV

Each time I put on the penis pump, I learn some interesting things, not only details about effectively using the pump, but also details about how my own body works. I would like to share what I have been learning with my readers. I hope that you do not find what I am writing to be boring. I think it is interesting to get what I learn written down. If you find what I am learning to be interesting and useful, that is good for me as well.

This particular manual pump comes with three different silicone end caps color-coded based on the size of the hole your penis needs to go through, blue=large, peach (flesh-colored) = medium and red=small. Most pumps are sold with just one size, so this is an interesting advantage.

In theory, the idea is to match the hole size to the circumference of your flaccid penis, as in the red one is for little guys and the blue one is for the really big guys. I took a look at the options and concluded that I was neither a big guy nor a little guy, so the first time I used the pump I picked Medium.

The hole for each size has a rim on it. And it feels a lot like a stretchy penis ring. This means that depending on the size you choose you could be restricting blood flow both in and out of the penis but particularly if you choose a hole size smaller than your actual size, say a medium guy (peach) using the small one (red). I was curious if undersizing changed the functioning of the penis pump in any way, but particularly if this would affect how the penis pump built the erection since blood needs to be able to flow into you’re my penis with the vacuum. Turns out not. The only effect was when I removed the pump fully erect it was slightly more difficult to get my penis out of the ring than with the larger size.

Before I got into the pump, I lubed the silicone end with Astroglide® and gave my still-flaccid penis a coat as well. I recommend that every guy—at least every guy with a penis, get a tube of the personal lubricant called Astroglide. This is marketed as a product for guys in a relationship with a sexual partner, but it turns out it is a great masturbation lube as well. Plus it is water-based so it cleans up easily in the shower. And it won’t damage the silicone rubber parts of your penis pump or your gel penis rings.

So, I followed the same procedure as I did the last time. I stuck the tip of my penis into the undersized hole in the red plug and pressed the pump to my (pube-shaved) groin. No problem. One squeeze on the vacuum bulb and my lubed shaft slid right in.

Part of the fun for me is just seeing my penis start to enlarge inside the clear plastic tube, aware of the fact that in this situation there was no way I was going to be able to touch or stroke it. Still, already I was feeling like I was getting a hard-on. This alone is quite a treat for a guy who has had prostate surgery and some feelings and sensations that I have not experienced since the surgery suddenly and miraculously return.

But this would be interesting as well for a guy who is not treating an ED medical condition with the pump. As I have already indicated, the pump gives any guy the conscious ability to get an erection just by squeezing the bulb on the pump a few times. And other things happen too. Blood is flowing into your increasingly-erect penis, so it quickly becomes ruddier in color. If you read the literature, some guys complain that the blood that flows in is not the bright red arterial blood that occurs in an unaided erection, but rather cooler, less oxygenated, and bluish blood from veins. And the arterial blood is better if you are trying to rehab your penis plumbing. The other complaint is that because of this the bluish penis can feel cooler than normal than from an unaided erection for a guy in good health.

So, I have been watching carefully the color as well as the size of my erection inside the pump. It looks quite healthy with something of a dark red condition engorged with blood drawn in by the pump. I conclude that my penis is actually in pretty good shape despite the increasing difficulty getting an erection without aid post-surgery.

And I am putting together with this the stuff I already knew about techniques for enjoying yourself in solo sex. One of the techniques I have long advocated is that slower a guy builds an erection, that is taking a longer period of time, the better the final erection and the more fun the orgasm will be. The electric pump I got works beautifully, except that using it, even at thye lowest setting, you go from no erection to a big erection in about 15 seconds. You can, of course, stop the vacuum pump in the middle, but that does not seem to work nearly as well as just applying a squeeze to the bulb when you decide that a bit more vacuum is needed and would feel good.

I am still working out the details of all of this, but I know I like to just hang with the manual pump in place and initially just enough vacuum to get my flaccid shaft inside the snug silicone ring. What I do, is just stop any pumping, and just kick back and enjoy my slight erection, much as I would do in a standard masturbation session. The pump puts you in this psychologically fascinating place of having an erection, even a slight one, and wanting to stroke it by hand, but not being able to. This is great fun, because of the mix of physical sensations coming from the slightly engorged penis along with the psychological dilemma you are in.

The vacuum might gradually decline if you keep from squeezing the bulb. And with that a bit of your erection as well (though that could also depend on how tight the ring was that you initially choose). At some point you will likely decide that you can “tolerate” another squeeze of the bulb, and in so doing you will be able to observe your penis getting about a quarter-inch longer and the color going from a lighter red to a deeper red. You will also feel your penis getting harder and this quickly becomes psychologically very interesting.

Hang tight some more without squeezing the bulb and just thinking about where you are and what is happening. You can follow the same procedure over and over, in much the same way as you would in a long, slow masturbation session under the covers in the middle of the night. You should be able to cope with this without feeling any immediate need to ejaculate into the pump.

At some point you will decide that you are long enough and hard enough, and you want to get out of the pump. Pull the pump off and there is your fully engorged penis already lubed up with Astroglide. Just stroking that is great fun but there are other options as well. For example, a single guy in this condition might want to get into a favorite Speedo® and masturbate to ejaculation in front of a mirror.

For me, just stroking the underside of my erect penis brought back wonderful erotic sensations that I have not felt for 6 years just prior to surgery. And the lube! What a wonderful product for heightening the sensitivity of those nerve endings that are so enjoyable to touch. Soon I was off! This was easily the best orgasm I have had since I lost my prostate 6 years ago. I want to do this again! And again! And again! And there is no reason not to. As post-surgical treatments go, by a wide margin this beats taking ED pills or pricking my penis with an ED drug-filled syringe.

Suppose you are in a sexual relationship with a female partner and are having difficulty sustaining a hard-on that will satisfy her. I would talk the female partner and get her to help with the pumping and timing the bulb squeezes. It would have to be really erotic to psychologically know that what she is seeing and to a certain degree controlling by pumping the bulb will be in her own body in a few minutes time. Nothing at all wrong with that! I am confident that with the extra help, she will be satisfied with your length, girth and hardness.

In a gay relationship the fun thing to do would be to buy two manual pumps. Both guys lube up and get into their own pump, but trade squeeze bulbs, so my partner controls my vacuum-induced erection and I control his. Wild and super crazy fun. How much of this can both you and he tolerate? Nothing like running an experiment to find out!

Or, you can just pump yourself up and crawl into your favorite swim brief, and kick back and enjoy your improved appearance down there!

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LXXXVI

I keep running tests. In the process I keep learning interesting things about my own body and my ability to get and sustain an erection. For me, this is all in the name of science, and I am not just “messing around” by having fun with my own body. Plus I have a “noble cause” in doing this because I am interested in researching recovery methods after surgical removal of the prostate.

But I do not want for my readers to start thinking that my research applies only to those who have had prostate surgery. Further, as all of you also know now, I have lived as a single male my entire adult life and having a partner available for sex has not been a part of that. Still, I keep thinking about how what I am researching might apply to those with partners versus not, and for those who have ED for whatever reason versus not.

One thing that I learned over the past week is that I emerged from prostate surgery not in bad shape and in better shape than a lot of other guys who have had the surgery. A big part of this has been that I now realize that all I need is a bit of a booster in order to get an erection going. I had been doing this using my hand, but post-surgery I have not been able to get quite the erection quality that I had gotten via this method prior to surgery. I could still have a decent orgasm, but this was not nearly as enjoyable as an orgasm is when a guy is really hard. Hence the idea of trying a penis pump to see if I could get back to getting something closer to what I enjoyed in the pre-surgery days.

I also realize that there are a lot of guys out there who do have a regular sexual partner, and for straight males the idea of being able to get and sustain an erection sufficient to make her happy is an important part of the equation. And I also realize that guys have ED from mild to severe for a host of different reasons not just prostate surgery.

Gay relationships form a separate category and I will have more to say about that as well but later.

I also realize that many of my readers here are turned on just by wearing swim briefs, compression gear and other snug-fitting garments and in that regard I am one of you, so I am constantly thinking about how my current experiments relate to that as well.


I have been attempting to get in a new penis pump experiment conducted every night. I read that from a medical perspective the use of the pump on a daily basis is very helpful. This is getting me back to my masturbation schedule I employed when I was in my 20s and 30s. But maybe that is OK. What I am doing is all for science.

Last night, I was still somewhat exhausted from my efforts the previous nights. I was looking for an experiment to try that might not end in an orgasm. Two things were on my mind. First, the silicone rubber ends on the pump have sizes small, medium and large, the small size providing some constriction like a penis ring, but the large size big enough to be even larger than an engorged penis. What I decided to do is use the large size with the biggest hole, but then use it in conjunction with a penis ring (see photo). Interestingly, the silicone sleeve with the large hole is first placed over the end of the pump. Then the penis ring is stretched and placed over the sleeve with the hole in it.

When I get ready to remove the pump, I first slip the penis ring off the sleeve and on to the base of my penis. Then I pull the pump off sleeve still attached. Now I have an engorged penis with a silicone penis ring on the base.

Penis rings too come in various sizes, small, medium and large (see photo). For the experiment last night I wanted to first try the large ring, which provides minimal restriction of reverse blood flow. One thing I have learned about my own body in the experiments is that once I pump myself up, I can go for a substantial length of time without losing the erection without using any penis ring. Light stroking on the underside helps if I feel that my erection is starting to subside. But after being kick-started with the pump, all of this seems normal relative to where I was before the prostate came out.

I quickly found out that the pump still works fine even if the hole in the sleeve is bigger than my penis as it is being pumped. If the sleeve is lubed and the pubes are shaved, the seal still holds no problem. And I do not really need a silicone penis ring to constrict blood flow and sustain my erection once I am out of the pump.

So I have this pumped erection sufficient to make a female sex partner happy (assuming I had one) and if we wanted to have sex. Indeed, if she “helped” pump me up knowing what was being created and she was observing up close would soon fit inside of her that would add to the eroticism of the moment. These thoughts are surely interesting.

But, back to my reality. Post-pumping, I want to compare the sensations I get from stroking the underside of my penis gently with the sensations I have been getting simply using my hand to masturbate without pumping myself up first. I know I can have an orgasm without having a really hard erection and post-surgery I have enjoyed myself that way many times. Still, the nerves, particularly the ones lining the underside of the penis, get more touch sensitive and more fun the bigger and harder my penis is, (But you all knew that already, right?)

So I have the loose-fitting silicone ring slipped on to the base of my penis, and I have slipped the pump off, entirely.

The pumped penis with the loose-fitting penis ring gets stroked on the underside like my masturbation technique in days of old. But those all-important nerve endings on the underside of my penis are now feeling really good, far better than without first using the pump assistant. Soon I am saying aloud the phrase I like it! I like it! This is fun! Really fun! This is masturbation at its very best! And my penis seems to be getting harder still and certainly not getting softer.

What next? I haven’t had an orgasm. Not yet! Not yet! But I am now feeling as horny as all get out. Why I dig out a couple different pair of skimpy Seobean swim briefs and try them on, something I have long enjoyed doing. Will my engorged penis even fit? Finding out the answer is part of the fun. But not to worry, the Seobean briefs do fit. I put my penis up. Now I am really enjoying myself. Somehow that swim brief rubbing against the underside of my penis just “does” it for me, but this is crazy, goofy fun given the condition my penis is in. I slip out of the yellow brief and into the even skimpier and still tighter gray-and-black one. Touch the underside of my penis once again, and I land somewhere out in “orgasm heaven”. A terrific orgasm. A not-to-be missed sequence of events from beginning to end. Who even needs a sex partner when I can have this much fun all by myself? I’m delighted with all that I have learned and experienced.

I have done a lot of reading, and one of the important things I now know is that a lot of guys with ED have real problems sustaining an erection after pumping and that correctly sizing the silicone rubber ring is important to provide the exact amount of constriction to keep blood from exiting the hard-on but not too snug to cause injury.

I rather like the feel of the silicone ring on my penis even when the fit is loose. My next test will involve using a ring one size smaller and see how that feels on my pumped and engorged penis.

This is extraordinarily enjoyable and fun in a way that I thought was totally lost to me following surgery six years ago.

I like it! I like it!

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LXXXVII

Human beings have only three orifices of sufficient size to accommodate a penis inside, the mouth, the anus, and, for females, the vagina. For most guys, having sex is the same thing as being able to fit the guys hard-and-erect penis into one of these orifices and once inside, then ejaculating. For guys both straight and gay having sex is a polite way of saying that I found someone who will let me put my dick into an orifice they have, and then ejaculating while I am in there. Another term that is used is “partner sex” to make sure everyone understands that I was not engaged in solo sex which is the polite way of saying masturbation which when defined, for a guy at least, as stroking one’s own penis to first get hard and erect, and then often proceed to a gratifying ejaculation.

For a long time it was somehow believed that sex involving placing the penis in a vagina was normal but any other act of penis inside another bodily orifice was somehow abnormal. Gradually, some heterosexual couples engaged in what was termed oral intercourse, which meant that the guy’s penis was being inserted into the mouth of the penis. Back in the 1960s when I was an undergraduate, guys were going out on serious dates that, err, sometimes had a sexual component to them. In my dorm, a guy on a date would come back to the dorm in the wee hours of the morning and the first thing one of the other guys would ask is “does she suck”?

I was so young and n at that stage of my life that I hardly understood what exactly was being so bluntly asked. But even then, in the 1960s here were questions being asked was not “Did you get your dick into her vagina?” but rather “Did she allow you to put your deck into her mouth and then suck the semen out of it?” To the guy asking the question to the guy coming back from the date, clearly the oral sex was at a higher level of eroticism than “normal” copulation (dick in vagina). In those days no one talked about dick in anus, at least not when other guys were around.

Dick in anus was reserved exclusively for two gay guys having partner sex, and, back then being gay was considered a treatable sickness by everyone including the American Psychological Association, so no guy openly admitted that he was gay. Coming out was not what you did. And the idea that heterosexual couples sometimes err, had experienced “copulation by putting his dick in her anus not her mouth or vagina was something only really oddball and weird couples did. This was not a “normal” sex act at all.

Time moved on. In the book “Everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask” written by the psychiatrist David Reuben and first published in 1969 was a best seller in part because it had chapters dealing with topics everyone was curious about but traditionally were hushed up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reuben_(author)

Two topics interested me in particular, the chapters dealing with observations on gay guys and the chapter dealing with masturbation. Reuben actually admitted in the book that gay guys have been known to put a dick into the other guy’s anus, which he thought was more than a little weird. Perhaps a straight couple who admitted to doing this needed psychological help or maybe the guy needed a map of the female body orifices and where one was supposed to put one’s dick in order to have real sex.

But in retrospect he also said some odder things. First, he claimed that gay guys tend to favor clothing that fit snugger to their bodies than straight guys do, and that you sometimes could determine who among the males was gay but not openly gay simply by observing how snug the shirt or pants fit to his body. But he also admitted that a lot of modern men’s fashion consisted of ideas that originated in gay male communities and then somehow spread to straight males, so this clothing-focused approach to identifying gay males was not always perfect.

At least in the early editions, Reuben believed that being gay was a type of mental illness and as such any guy who had this problem should see a psychiatrist. Further, there were excellent psychiatrists out there who had the necessary techniques to fix the problem and turn practically any gay guy straight!

Was that advice ever off base!

Masturbation fared little better than being gay in Reuben’s analysis. That chapter indicated that guys commonly masturbate when they are young and that was just OK. But as a guy gets only a little older, say in his late teens, there would be more and more opportunities for having penis-vagina sex with a female partner, and gradually a guy’s interest in masturbation will fade as he ramps up having real intercourse. He noted that elderly guys living without a female partner as they age may ramp up masturbation again, and that was probably OK for guys who no longer had a convenient vagina in which to ejaculate, but for everyone else, penis-in-vagina partner sex was a lot more fun and should be the norm of what we as guys do.

Over all of this I was thinking about my own situation. I guess other guys were wired differently from me. First, I was never that turned on by females my age, if at all. I had female friends but I did not feel compelled to put my penis into a vagina, like a lot of my male college friends seemed focused on doing. Somehow I must be wired differently from them, but how?

Even at a young age I liked to wear clothing items that were snug-fitting. Was Reuben saying this made me gay? Well not exactly. And increasingly I began to believe that being a gay male meant that I was enthusiastic about putting my dick into his anus or mouth, and quite frankly this appealed to me, if anything, even less than the idea of penis-in-vagina. For me, having a sexual partner who wanted my dick would prove to be interesting for less than 24 hours, if that.

But I love getting a hard on-and then ejaculating. In this regard I am not asexual at all. It’s just the partner stuff involving putting my dick into the orifice of another person that is the turnoff.

So, I have a medical appointment and have to fill out a questionnaire. One of the first questions is am I straight or gay? There is no other option. I had already checked the “single” box. But singles don’t generally live without partner sex in some form, or do they? I suppose that if I checked gay, there would be immediate interest in whether or not I would have an STD commonly carried by non monogamous gay guys, most notably HIV. Saying straight would go down a different medical path assuming I was having regular sex with females that I was not married to and all the messy issues associated with that. If there were an option “neither of the above” the assumption would be that I engage in both anal sex with men and vaginal sex with females and that creates an even messier and more complicated potential set of medical issues.

But I enjoy myself sexually immensely with none of the baggage associated with living with another person and somehow getting my penis into a partner’s orifice, whatever that orifice might be. Because of this I suppose some guys would say that I have missed out on some of the most enjoyable aspects of being a guy. But I am who I am. I’ve enjoyed life immensely in part because I never got bogged down doing the stuff a lot of other guys enjoy doing.

In the stories I have written you will notice that the characters often deeply enjoy masturbating, often by themselves but occasionally engaging getting into mutual masturbation. But never does a dick go in partner’s orifice. In that regard, my stories are at least somewhat autobiographical. I like leaving characters in this situation of dreaming up interesting ways to engage in male self abuse, but never actually engaging in true partner sex. From my vantage point, that is the place to be! Modern medicine I guess doesn’t realize that there are guys who see the world, sexually, from my vantage point. Maybe lots of us! If you are reading this, perhaps you too are one of these.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LXXXIX

I have been reading a host of different medical sites relating to the use of a penis pump as a medical device for treating ED after prostate surgery. A lot of these are high-end places like Mayo clinic and urologists explain in somber tones how the device might aid in a patient’s recovery. The hypothetical patient is a male with a female partner, and the guy is worried about not being able to get hard enough to even get inside of her let alone to satisfy her with his penis. I also learned that prescription “medical-grade penis pumps typically cost from $200-500 whereas the devices sold on Ebay run from $12 to maybe $50, no prescription required.

A penis pump is a penis pump, pretty much. They normally consist of a clear polycarbonate plastic cylinder about 2 inches in diameter and 8 inches long though a few are bigger. And a small vacuum pump, either a manual one or one powered by a rechargeable battery. And a sheath of some sort of flexible silicone rubber that goes over the base of the tube. That sheath forms a seal that is pressed against your groin at the base of the penis air tight and thus a vacuum when the pump is used. The sheath has a hole only big enough to fit your penis through, at least in theory. The sheath will vary quite a bit in design and material depending on the pump you buy.

The powered pump I bought works well at creating vacuum, but I was getting a pain or soreness at the base of my penis as the vacuum level increased. This part was not erotic at all. And I didn’t like the pain I was experiencing. What was going on, anyway?

I quickly discovered that with as the vacuum level increased I was actually starting to pull my balls partway into the pump along with my penis. The sheath was there in part to keep body parts other than the penis outside the cylinder and this was not happening as well as it should.

I needed a better sheath to use with both pumps and so I started looking on Ebay again and found the ones in the photo attached. They are just a very soft and stretchy cylinder which when placed on the pump tube look as you see in the photo. I tried one of these with the manual pump last night. Ahhh, much better, No pain at all. Tonight I will experiment using this sheath with the powered pump. I also discovered that as a lube for these, a bit of clear Softsoap® works about the same as Astroglide as a lube. The Astroglide might be fine as a lube for intercourse, but in one of my extended masturbation sessions it tends to dry and get sticky.

So, yesterday afternoon I decided to see what was out there on the porn video sites in which guys demonstrate the recreational uses for the penis pump. There are lots of videos of that sort, many just videos of guys showing a growing erection inside the pump tube with each pump squeeze. I say videos of men of all ages, from late teens on. Most of the ones I saw were guys who likely could easily get and sustain an erection easily without the pump but found the idea of pumping themselves up to be form of erotic recreational sex.

I also found some of the information useful in better understanding the issue of the sheath not keeping the balls completely out of the vacuum cylinder. There was a cock and ball torture (CBT) video that demonstrated the issue in maybe too much detail. The other guys had one guy restrained with leather straps. They then used a penis pump on him similar to the manual one I have but without any silicone sheath on the end of the tube. They merely placed the 2” inch polycarbonate plastic tube to his groin with sufficient pressure to seal it and create a vacuum. With a two-inch hole in the plastic tube, not only will the restrained guy’s penis get vacuumed into the tube, but his balls were quickly sucked upward and inside the tube completely with just space enough for the balls to press against the expanding penis and the tube itself. Quite a predicament!

Given the experience I had when my balls were only getting a small section partly into the cylinder, this must have been extraordinarily painful as the guy’s “friends” made sure the vacuum level kept increasing as the guy struggled and screamed out with the pain associated with having his balls in that situation. As a penis pump-using viewer, this was interesting to see but I would quickly become concerned that the pump could do permanent damage to a guy’s balls used that way. But I guess that is part of what CBT eroticism is all about for the participants. My bottom line on all of this is that the sheath you choose to use with your pump in part is there to keep other body parts out and therefore is the most important consideration of all.

So, where am I on all of this? The devices clearly have serious medical applications for guys dealing with ED irrespective of the underlying cause, but are especially helpful to guys like me who have faced surgical removal of the prostate. I do not have a sex partner, but if I did, I think I would be more than able to satisfy her in intercourse using my pumper as an aid. I seem to retain an erection for a long time after I remove the pump, even without a penis ring, plenty of time to stick it into another bodily orifice.

However, as things to do sexually from a pure recreational masturbation perspective, these pumps clearly have uses as well and I fully understand why they are popular with many guys. Assuming a guy is able to get and retain an erection without using a pump, as low-cost recreational devices go this is benign with no adverse side effects (except if you decide you want to find out how it feels to have your balls vacuumed and squeezed into the tube along with your penis).

Once I remove the pump, even though I am considerably bigger in length and girth, I do not feel that immediately I must have an orgasm. I am thinking about this of course, but I am not at a point of no return—not yet, anyway. My penis is not as stiff as it would have been when I was 19, or even 30, but it still feels really neat coming out of the pump. And those nerve endings on the underside feel great, almost like they did before the surgery. I face choices. I can simply masturbate to ejaculation without wearing anything over my penis. Or I can slip on a favorite swim brief and just take myself to the next level while “playing” with a good penis position—the same thing I did when I was in my 20s, pretty much. And, most thankfully, this now feels very similar to what I remember from way back when.

Or, what I did last night—crawled into a skimpy thong with a really snug pouch and a cord that cinched between my glutes, and had an orgasm that way in my condition. Perfect! So many fond memories of masturbating in days gone by. And I can keep right on being in that wonderful place I found and went into with much enthusiasm so long ago.

To be continued…

[runnerguy]

You should also do a paper essay on edible marijuana usage. using edibles along with your pump probably deliver some pretty extraordinary excitement.

[sebbie]

Part LXXXX

For guys of any age, I see the ability to get aroused, get an erection, sustain an erection and conclude with a wonderful orgasm as a “great gift” perhaps the greatest gift ever to human beings, at least for male human beings. I do not want to start sounding religious, but this is marvelous stuff in all sorts of ways.

Of course, there are always complexities. The major complexity is that when most guys think about this, thoughts generally trend toward thinking about enjoying one’s own body by having some form of sex with a partner via one of three orifices, mouth, anus or vagina. The idea of perhaps maybe just kicking back and enjoying yourself without getting involved in anal, oral or vaginal sex seems strange indeed, perhaps somehow “unnatural”? Indeed, isn’t one of these three what two adult human beings are somehow “supposed” to do?

With each chapter I write, I try to “mess” with my readers in some way, and toss ideas out that at first may seem more than a little odd or strange, but particularly strange for those who equate sexual enjoyment with the specific kinds of partner sex I just described.

Questions like “Is it possible for a guy to enjoy his own body and sexual being without having a partner willing to engage in the aforementioned “partner sex?” If a guy admits to doing this is he somehow mentally deformed or otherwise inferior to the other guys wandering around who regularly engage in partner sex?

Part of the problem here is that we know that every guy loves to masturbate but this is particularly so if the guy (gay or straight) lacks a sexual partner. Pretty much guys grew up engaging in “self abuse” probably nearly every day (or night) and most are so hooked on a regular schedule that they will only reluctantly give up on doing (what they always did) when they lacked a sexual partner. Bringing a sexual partner into this, as in mutual masturbation, might very well be seen as abnormal or otherwise somehow unnatural but an activity particularly so if the partner is female. I have frequently thought that two gay guys probably have an easier time unraveling this given that both understand the important role that masturbation played in their lives when they did not have a partner and they can drag what they have both learned on the subject into the partnered relationship without embarrassment. At least that is what I conclude from my vantage point.

Most men are experts in the nuances of masturbation by the time they are young adults, and most love it. Some are really squeamish about how their lives might change in this respect once they partner with a female. Does the guy tell her about the stuff he has long loved doing with and to himself? Can some of this be brought into the relationship for both to potentially enjoy? What role if any does this play relative to plain ordinary vaginal or oral sex in the relationship? Is a guy supposed to quit abusing himself and rely solely on vaginal and oral sex because he now has a female partner? Having a male partner instead seems far simpler because both guys can just keep doing what they always were fond of doing, with the added twist of additional enjoyment from being able to get “help” from your partner. Neat stuff for two guys who are fond of their penises! But, male-female mutual masturbation? That is a different topic entirely.

Of course I am all about guys enjoying their own bodies safely regardless of whether or not the guy is in a relationship with a partner or not. I think every unpartnered guy has just as much right to be able to enjoy his own body as the partnered guys do. But adding a partner for mutual masturbation (male or female) adds a whole new dimension, even if the two do not engage in penis inside of some body part. There are endlessly fascinating ways of engaging in mutual masturbation that do not involve penis in a hole of some sort.

For guys without partners there are also fascinating ways to creatively masturbate. If some of this involves a stretchy clothing item that contains Lycra® there is nothing at all wrong with that. Guys learn how to masturbate while wearing snug-fitting garments almost from the point in time where they first discovered that touching their own sex organs produced some interesting sensations in their own brains. This revelation does not somehow go away once a guy reaches adulthood or gets married. It is a major part of who a guy is for his entire life. I realize that some women might have trouble getting their heads around the implications of what I have just told you, but it is the truth and be that as it may be. My sympathy goes out to the married guys whose wives see this all differently and become fixated on what she thinks a guy should be permitted to do with his own body once she has snared him as her husband.

To be continued…