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My Awkward Speedo Wearing Teens - Story 1 - Alex
This is not erotic, but it is true account of a memory I've recorded, and I think it is typical of some of the complexities and neurosis that I and others have experienced around wearing speedos.
Puberty came later to me than most, and so too did an understanding of the awkwardness some felt wearing speedos. I'd worn them my entire life but I became increasingly aware that lots of the other kids just wouldn't wear them, and so while speedos were my preference, outside of competitive swimming or training, I became reluctant to be the only boy in the pool or on the beach in speedos. In my early teens I had a few girlfriends and was very attracted to girls, but I came to the realisation that I was also attracted to boys. In the 90s this was definitely not something I could share, and the truth was, at the time I deeply wished I wasn't. So, as much as I liked to be around girls who were not wearing much, I also liked to be around boys not wearing much too, and you can't wear much less than speedos, or togs as we called them in Queensland, Australia. I had a weird set of rules develop around when I would and wouldn't wear speedos. Essentially I'd always wear them to training, or competitions, and in our backyard pool when alone. If I was at the beach just with my family, I'd usually wear them, especially if we were on a quiet beach. I'd actually have anxiety if I didn't wear them around family because mum especially had no appreciation for the awkwardness some boys felt wearing speedos and she seemed to figure that if I wasn't wearing speedos it was because I was either too lazy to get changed or I couldn't find them, rather than something more complex. When I was with mates either in my pool or theirs, I'd wear speedos if they were, which was not that common, but more common if it was a friend from swim club. In situations where I wasn't sure what others were doing, I'd put speedos on under my boardies and make a call when I knew what everyone else was wearing. On a summer weekend when I was 15 we had friends of my stepfather's from interstate come over for lunch. I'd never met them before, but they had a kid the same age as me called Alex. We'd worked out that there was only a couple of months between us, and we were pretty much the same height, both skinny, and with blonde hair and braces. I was always shy meeting other kids, but Alex was instantly friendly and we got along straight away. He seemed a bit cooler and more confident than me so I was a bit nervous. I asked Alex if he wanted to come to my room and play some computer games, so we sat up there playing for a while before lunch. Over lunch mum suggested that we go for a swim in the pool afterwards. Alex looked a bit disappointed as he noted that he only had the jeans he was wearing. Mum chimed in and said it's ok, he could borrow something from me because we looked the same size. I of course said 'sure I can get you something'. We played another couple of games for half an hour and then noticing that the sun was blaring I asked Alex if he wanted to jump in the pool now. He said 'yeah sure'. I said I'd get changed and then sort out something for him to wear. I had an ensuite bathroom attached to my bedroom, so I went in there but I forgot to take anything in with me to change into and I was nervous about what to wear and what to give Alex. Lots of kids I knew would never wear speedos, and Alex might be one of those, so I didn't want to risk an uncomfortable encounter, but my hormones and curiosity was running wild. I came up with an idea. I poked my head out of the bathroom and told Alex that I'd forgotten to grab something to swim in, and asked if he could pass something for me from my drawers. I had my head poking around the door because I was already half undressed. I pointed to the drawer on the other side of the room. In the drawer I knew there was a pile of board shorts on the left and speedos on the right. I had 4 or 5 different pairs of speedos at the time, which was not unusual for a club swimmer. Alex asked 'boardies or speedos?' and I replied 'i don't mind, whatever is there' figuring I could force Alex to make a call. He held up the speedos on the top which were green with a white stripe on one side and he asked 'these?'. I said 'fine' and he threw them over. I said 'thanks' and told him to help himself to whatever he wanted. Alex picked up a pair of dark blue speedos from the top and asked if he could borrow those, and of course I said 'yes'. I shut the bathroom door and got changed in about 30 seconds. I was way too shy to be naked in front of other boys then, which I think was an anxiety amplified by being late to puberty. I came out and told Alex he could use the bathroom and he did, and changed just as quickly. We ran downstairs past our parents on our way to the pool to the sound of my mum yelling 'sunscreen!', so back we came and I grabbed the sunscreen and squirted a pile of it on my hand and gave the bottle to Alex. Alex's mum called him over and he put some on his arms and chest while his mum covered his back. While I was covering myself in cream, I could just hear Alex's mum talking to him. Firstly she said, 'make sure to say thank you for the loan of the swimmers'. Then she said 'it's lucky you're the same size, they fit perfectly' because mums are obsessed with how clothes fit. She followed with 'It's been a while since you've worn speedo swimmers', to which Alex mumbled something like 'that's all there was', I think to indicate he had no choice, but said it softly because he didn't intend for me to hear. I of course pretended I didn't hear but I did think about that a bit. My mum left to go into the kitchen, so I asked Alex if he could put some cream on my back where I couldn't reach. We then ran off into the backyard, grabbed a heap of pool toys and proceeded to mess about on inflatable things, do stupid dives, run up and see how long we could stand on a lilo before falling in and a bunch of stuff like that. Nobody cared what anyone was wearing and we played around running and jumping and swimming until we were both exhausted. We pulled ourselves out and laid on our back on a couple of lounges next to the pool to dry off. Alex laid there with his eyes shut facing straight toward the sun. I was suddenly reminded of my attraction to the same sex as I looked at the wet speedos on Alex tightly cling and prominently display what was underneath. I don't know if if was the same for other teen boys, but I always wanted to compare, and it was a bit of a source of embarrassment for me at the time because I felt less developed. I wanted to stop looking but I couldn't. I realised I could lay on my side with my eyes mostly shut, but open enough that allowed me to watch. I could also tell that Alex looked pretty similar to me. I wondered in that moment if Alex had any idea how revealing those dark blue speedos were on him. The quiet was broken by my stepfather sneaking up from behind with the hose while the other adults watched on from the verandah. To our shock, we were both greeted with a blast of fast freezing water. We both jumped up and dived back into the pool to escape. We could hear a lot of laughter at our expense. Alex raced ahead of me to the other end of the pool to grab the only floating lilo to continue sunning himself. As he tried to pull himself up, I caught up and tried to pull him back. This process repeated for a while until we were both on and agreed to compromise and share it. I think about what that must have looked like as we lay together tightly side by side. I wondered if Alex thought anything about it at all, or whether the slight awkwardness and tension and tinge of excitement was all in my head. A minute or so later mum brought us a drink and a bag of chips each. We rolled off and got out and had our snack next to the pool. Alex said, 'let's go play some more computer games'. So we raced back upstairs. He didn't suggest we get changed, so of course I didn't either. We had a solid session of gaming sitting their in speedos until Alex's mum knocked on the door and said it was time for them to go. Alex went into the bathroom with his clothes and took off the dark blue speedos he'd been borrowing for the last few hours. He came out dressed and held up the speedos and asked what he should do with them. I said, pass them to me, I'll sort it out. Remembering what his mum told him, as he handed them to me, Alex said 'thanks a lot for letting me borrow these' and I said, 'no problem' to which he awkwardly replied 'thanks they fit perfectly'. I could tell as soon as he said that he felt embarrassed and regretted saying it, but I think he was just trying to be polite. We ran downstairs to Alex's waiting parents, me not changed because I had no reason to. Our parents were saying goodbye to each other, making vague plans about catching up sometime in the very distant future when we'd be in the same state again. Alex's mum said it was nice to meet me and thanked me for looking after Alex, and then to my surprise gave me a huge embarrassing hug. Alex's Dad, who I also barely knew, to mock his mum repeated the unnecessary hug to make everyone laugh. Then Alex continued the joke by doing exactly the same. I would sometimes reflect on that moment standing there just in my speedos, in the middle of this joke and laughter being hugged by this boy I hardly knew. Sadly, my mum and stepfather would separate not long after this, and as a result, I never saw Alex again. I sometimes wonder if he ever reflected on this day with same angst and curiosity and discovery that I did, or was it just me? |
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