Thoughts on just being a guy

[sebbie]

Part CI (101)

The role that snug-fitting clothing plays in a guy’s life has always been a topic that has fascinated me. Once I got to an age where I COULD ejaculate, then the question quickly turned to exactly what the circumstances were when this actually happened, involuntarily or with some “overt” help from me.

Think back to the first time in your life that you actually realized that you had ejaculated semen. Some medical references claim that some guys have dry orgasms with repetitive involuntary muscle contractions for some months to actually ‘voiding” any semen. (I am always amused by the sober phrase “voiding semen” as if this were somehow a somber, completely joyless event.)

Anyhow, I don’t recall ever having a dry orgasm. The earliest recollection I recall of voiding semen has me awakening at 2 AM and discovering there was a goofy puddle of something sticky on my pajama leg that if I were lucky, turned into a still noticeable and starchy looking dry stain by morning. Mom said “That is nothing to worry about” but did not tell me anything else (or tell me to see if I could somehow stop doing that. (The limited advice I was getting was somehow both reassuring and in retrospect, amusing).

The first few times this happened the stains were small and almost unnoticeable, but a problem was that they were starting to get bigger. And despite the fact that these events were occurring in the middle of the night, it dawned on me that maybe just maybe I should not be just sleeping right through them. Instead, why not wake up just before this happens and then fall back asleep afterwards?

The other major event in a boy’s life is when he has his first daytime orgasm and voiding of semen. My personal recollection was that I was fond of swimsuits at a very early age especially the ones with the snug nylon liners. And I had a little wading pool in the yard. Oh hot days I would get into my suit, crawl into the pool and just sit in the water for many minutes if not hours. What to do? Why sit and stare at my navel? My penis was drawing my attention away from that as it was starting to feel really good as I sat there and the more I thought about it the better it felt.

Suddenly and somewhat violently (at least I thought so at the time) my penis started to feel really, really good. I was suddenly in a very special place. I was ejaculating into the swimsuit. But conveniently the water in the little pool was going to wash away any evidence. Should I tell mom what had happened to me? Well no, I thought, as she seemed totally unconcerned with the same thing happened to me in bed at night. But, I had just had my first daytime orgasm, and boy was it fun. Plus it was a complete secret. No one knew other than me.

So, I quickly figured out the real reason to try and be in the wading pool on a regular basis, and this became a regular summertime routine. The swimwear soon got connected psychologically to being able to have a secret orgasm. Besides, I was perfecting my bedtime techniques. I was beginning to realize that there was no longer any reason to just wait and see if a nocturnal emission just happened (perhaps at a strange hour like too near the time I needed to wake up for the semen to have time to dry).

Instead, I could kind of “encourage” things along a bit on my own. And the stuff I had pieced together while out in the wading pool was, well, helpful. Why not ejaculate, fully awake, at 11 pm, for example, and the semen stains would have plenty of time to fully dry by early morning? I was making important calculations like this and begging a schedule that had me ejaculating nearly every night.

More generally my fondness for snug=fitting clothing was increasing. I wanted to be in anything that I thought would get me aroused. And I was watching my friends. At that age guys are growing rapidly, and starting to build more muscular bodies, meaning they were quickly outgrowing jeans that were correctly sized in the previous summer. Most parents (mainly the moms) were struggling to keep the boys in close that fit their bigger bodies.

But I noticed an odd thing. At least some of the guys who had clearly outgrown the jeans they wore the past summer were still wearing them this year anyway. Perhaps their parents were too poor to buy them jeans that fit. No, the guys seemed to actually like the fact that the jeans a bit fit tight in the thigh, short in the ankle, and, seemingly most importantly, snug in the butt. The fact that the jeans were now worn but now body-conforming seemed now to be a plus, not a minus. What was going on here?

I grew up in a Western-focused community, and a modified cowboy look was very popular. Wrangler cowboy-cut jeans complete with the Wrangler patch on the right rear pocket was a very popular look, and part of the look is the fact that the jeans fit close to the body but especially so in the butt and thighs.

Stretch denim had yet to be invented, and jeans routinely shrunk when washed a few times. This meant that jeans that were merely snug when purchased after a few washings were, well, quite body-conforming.

I remember being in the local store in search for a pair of Wrangler jeans. Another guy was also shopping and trying jeans on. He complained to the clerk that a particular pair of jeans was OK but he was actually in search of a pair that fit snugger in the thigh and in the butt. I suspect the clerk was concerned that any snugger cut or smaller size would be too tight to wear after a few washings, but that did not seem to concern the guy at all. The whole idea was that when the jeans were laundered, they would have to conform to the guy’s body exactly even if this required some effort to get into the jean. The tighter the fit, the better, and a bit of a struggle getting in and out of the jeans was part of that.

At that point in time I got to thinking about the predicament the guy would find himself in if he got a hard-on wearing those. But maybe, just maybe that was what he was hoping for. These are the kinds of questions one never gets answered.

As time wore on, stuff kept getting snugger and tighter for me as well. In the back of my mind I was worried the potential about the embarrassment of having an “involuntary voiding” of semen even as I was enamored with being able to keep maintaining a nice semi hard-on as the day went on.

To be continued…