Thoughts on just being a guy

[sebbie]

Part LXXXX

For guys of any age, I see the ability to get aroused, get an erection, sustain an erection and conclude with a wonderful orgasm as a “great gift” perhaps the greatest gift ever to human beings, at least for male human beings. I do not want to start sounding religious, but this is marvelous stuff in all sorts of ways.

Of course, there are always complexities. The major complexity is that when most guys think about this, thoughts generally trend toward thinking about enjoying one’s own body by having some form of sex with a partner via one of three orifices, mouth, anus or vagina. The idea of perhaps maybe just kicking back and enjoying yourself without getting involved in anal, oral or vaginal sex seems strange indeed, perhaps somehow “unnatural”? Indeed, isn’t one of these three what two adult human beings are somehow “supposed” to do?

With each chapter I write, I try to “mess” with my readers in some way, and toss ideas out that at first may seem more than a little odd or strange, but particularly strange for those who equate sexual enjoyment with the specific kinds of partner sex I just described.

Questions like “Is it possible for a guy to enjoy his own body and sexual being without having a partner willing to engage in the aforementioned “partner sex?” If a guy admits to doing this is he somehow mentally deformed or otherwise inferior to the other guys wandering around who regularly engage in partner sex?

Part of the problem here is that we know that every guy loves to masturbate but this is particularly so if the guy (gay or straight) lacks a sexual partner. Pretty much guys grew up engaging in “self abuse” probably nearly every day (or night) and most are so hooked on a regular schedule that they will only reluctantly give up on doing (what they always did) when they lacked a sexual partner. Bringing a sexual partner into this, as in mutual masturbation, might very well be seen as abnormal or otherwise somehow unnatural but an activity particularly so if the partner is female. I have frequently thought that two gay guys probably have an easier time unraveling this given that both understand the important role that masturbation played in their lives when they did not have a partner and they can drag what they have both learned on the subject into the partnered relationship without embarrassment. At least that is what I conclude from my vantage point.

Most men are experts in the nuances of masturbation by the time they are young adults, and most love it. Some are really squeamish about how their lives might change in this respect once they partner with a female. Does the guy tell her about the stuff he has long loved doing with and to himself? Can some of this be brought into the relationship for both to potentially enjoy? What role if any does this play relative to plain ordinary vaginal or oral sex in the relationship? Is a guy supposed to quit abusing himself and rely solely on vaginal and oral sex because he now has a female partner? Having a male partner instead seems far simpler because both guys can just keep doing what they always were fond of doing, with the added twist of additional enjoyment from being able to get “help” from your partner. Neat stuff for two guys who are fond of their penises! But, male-female mutual masturbation? That is a different topic entirely.

Of course I am all about guys enjoying their own bodies safely regardless of whether or not the guy is in a relationship with a partner or not. I think every unpartnered guy has just as much right to be able to enjoy his own body as the partnered guys do. But adding a partner for mutual masturbation (male or female) adds a whole new dimension, even if the two do not engage in penis inside of some body part. There are endlessly fascinating ways of engaging in mutual masturbation that do not involve penis in a hole of some sort.

For guys without partners there are also fascinating ways to creatively masturbate. If some of this involves a stretchy clothing item that contains Lycra® there is nothing at all wrong with that. Guys learn how to masturbate while wearing snug-fitting garments almost from the point in time where they first discovered that touching their own sex organs produced some interesting sensations in their own brains. This revelation does not somehow go away once a guy reaches adulthood or gets married. It is a major part of who a guy is for his entire life. I realize that some women might have trouble getting their heads around the implications of what I have just told you, but it is the truth and be that as it may be. My sympathy goes out to the married guys whose wives see this all differently and become fixated on what she thinks a guy should be permitted to do with his own body once she has snared him as her husband.

To be continued…