What to wear?

[sebbie]

Bill is now awake, lying in bed, wondering how he is going to get out of the predicament that he has managed to get himself in without embarrassing himself or adversely affecting his currently decent roommate situation with Joe. Bill comes out of the belief that jerking off is best done at night, and under the covers, and between the age of 12 and 18 at home, he honed his skills in surreptitiously jerking off without drawing the attention of others, specifically, his parents, his older sister, but in particular his younger brother, to what he was doing on a regular basis nearly every night.

He had honed his skills at using a facial tissue much like a condom, to catch semen before it messed up his bottoms or got on the sheets in significant amounts. He had actually gotten pretty good at the techniques, as in reading his mind and body as to almost the exact moment he was going to ejaculate, and then collecting nearly all the semen in the tissue. The only real clue was the little plastic waste basket that had somehow migrated from the opposite corner of the bedroom to right next to the upper left hand corner of the bed, and the tissue box sitting right there too. Bill never worried a lot about this, however, because if anyone asked he could always plausibly say that sometimes he needed to blow his nose and clean out stuffy sinuses during the night.

Sometimes his sister helped his mom with the cleaning, and on occasion the boys got dragged into this work too despite their distaste for a lot of it. The convenient thing was that the tissue containing the semen looked almost exactly like a soiled tissue containing whatever you call the flemmy stuff you blow out of your nose. Neither his older sister nor his younger brother were going to try and unravel that. Frankly, it did not even dawn on them that the soiled tissues could contain something a lot more interesting. It was all just soiled tissue that needed to be put in the trash. So the tissue condom was a near–perfect under-the-cover-jerk off cover,…except that….

Except that the wet dreams did present something of a problem, being so unpredictable. If the wet dream ended with a full-scale orgasm and ejaculation while the dreamer was still fast asleep or even awake but drowsy, there was no time whatsoever to get the tissue in position for collecting the semen. So would then end up with cum-stained pajama bottoms (he did not sleep in just boxer shorts at that age) not to mention cum-stained sheets too. This created quite a mess, at least until the cum from the jerking off had thoroughly dried.

When Bill was 13, he initially thought that the only real strategic issue was to wait until the wet semen dried, which usually took a few hours of laying in bed. But Bill quickly learned that dry cum stains leave a very odd starchy patch on his pajama bottoms when dry. Odd not only because these patches felt like a little area that appeared like a small patch of laundry starch, but also because they stained the pajama bottoms with off-colored yellow stains. You could see a pattern on the pajamas where every drop of cum landed. Bill had actually heard the terms, cum-tracks cum-stain trails or even penis tracks.

Even worse, there would be similar stains on the sheets. Starchy little discolored patches landing here and there about a third way down on the bottom sheet. All was ok so long as the bed wasn’t being stripped, but if the bed were opened up, there would be all these stains that clearly indicated that something involving a liquid had happened while Bill was in the bed. Bill never did figure out a plausible explanation that he could use except to say that whatever it was that caused the stains must have happened while Bill was fast asleep. Mom seemed to get used to the notion that the sheets from Bill’s room were always going to be soiled within the week. Pajama bottoms too. If mom had figured out what was really happening and how much Bill was involved in creating these stains, she had the good sense to never confront Bill or even say a word about te laundry issue. Bill always thought that was to his mom’s credit for sure. Were other guys so lucky?

Bill brought all of these teen-age jerk-off and wet-dream experiences and cover ups right along with him to college. Obviously he knew that some of this could easily be an issue with a male roommate sleeping right next to him in a tiny dorm room. But what was he to do, just not go to college? That wasn’t an option.

So, at this point we have Bill still under the covers, still wearing the same pair of boxer shorts he wore to bed, but now the boxer shorts are covered with big spots of wet cum, ejaculate from that wild-ass funchball wet-dream sequence that he just awoke from. Bill THINKS Joe is still fast asleep in his own bed, and knows nothing. Bill NEEDS to get the cum-stained shorts into his laundry bag in the closet in the other corner of the room, and Bill would like to put on a clean dry pair from the drawer in the chest in the same closet. How to pull this all off without awakening Joe?

The sheets have cum on them too, and that is a problem as well, because it is Tuesday and laundry pickup day is on Friday. What a mess!

Bill decides that with respect to the sheet issue, the best strategy is to just let the cum stains dry to their starchy spots of discoloration. Live with the cum-stained sheets until Friday. After all this isn’t the first time in Bill’s life that he has ended up sleeping in sheets stained with cum!

Bill then decides that what he really needs to do is get up in a hurry, quickly drop the soiled, cum-stained boxers he is still wearing to the floor, and then make a fast dash to the opposite side of the room stark naked, grab a clean pair of boxers out of the drawer there, and pull them on as quickly as possible. At that point Bill can nonchalantly carry the pillow-case laundry bag back to the bed edge and stuff the cum-stained shorts into the pillow case. Finally put the laundry bag back into the closet. Bill thinks no one will be the wiser and he implements the strategy.

Bill thinks Joe is still asleep. Of course Joe is not asleep. In fact, Joe has one eye open but only pretending to still be asleep. Joe sees Bill making this wild dash naked cross the room and gets a glimpse of Bill’s naked butt moving in a hurry. Joe is starting to wonder about this, in part because Bill was not exactly completely quiet during the funchball game dream. Bill actually talked, or at least mumbled, in his dream sleep, cheering the opposing teams out loud and making what sounded like nothing so much as like somewhat lewd comments about the uniforms both the guy and the girl funchball players were wearing. What really confused Joe is that he heard Bill mutter what sounded like F@#kball! F@#kball! Several times during the night. To Joe, Bill seemed to be having, at best, a confusing night or a really wild dream.

Bill pulled off his boxer sacking maneuver thinking that Joe knew nothing at all. Shortly thereafter Joe got up and dressed for class. bill did not say anything to Joe about what had happened during the night, nor did Joe mention that he thought Bill was behaving a bit “odd’, to say the least. Both Joe and Bill quickly dressed and were off to their early morning classes.

……..To be continued