What to wear?

[sebbie]

Coping With Reality: Fear and Longing

Masturbation is commonplace for both males and females. For both sexes, averaged over a life time, masturbation us probably happens several times more often than partner sex, whether the individual is gay or straight. This no number no doubt varies substantially depending on the relationship a guy finds himself in over a lifetime, and those who do not have sexual partners likely masturbate more frequently than guys who have regular sexual partners, but the same may also be true for women.

Guys start to learn about the pleasure and the fear of masturbation at an early age. The fortunate ones learn that masturbation is OK but it should not be done in the presence of others. Learning about masturbation is thus intertwined with the need for privacy. In particular, there are various “rewards” from having uninterrupted time just to be alone and this is going can get intertwined very quickly about the idea that sex is best (the most enjoyable) when done with a sexual partner. That connection between the two is unfortunate.

Real guys do not talk to other guys about a great masturbation session that happened the night before unless perhaps if the other guy himself is gay. But straight males never bring up the subject with their female partners, either. From this viewpoint, a solo masturbation session is so inferior to partner sex that talking about something like that simply does not happen. Many females like to believe that they are and should be the sole source of sexual pleasure for a man, and any talk of this other stuff that might be happening in a guy’s mind and body that is inconsistent with this view and should be avoided. Never mind that given an opportunity, say a business trip away from home, a guy may take advantage of the situation he finds himself in—and not necessarily sex with a female at the trip location, but simply using the privacy as an excuse to get horny and engage in some masturbation in private!

I have had lots of time to think about what all of this has to do with a male who wants to wear a swim brief. The male may not be concerned about wanting to actually wear a swim brief for swimming, but somehow, he has come to the conclusion that a snug-fitting swim brief would be a great item to use in order to masturbate. The basic problem a straight guy in a relationship with a female has with getting and using a swim brief as a masturbation aid is how to do so without the female partner quickly figuring it all out. This has led to men’s underwear manufacturers designing briefs sold as underwear that look and feel very similar to a swim brief, many of which might be fun to masturbate into as well. If this comes up as a topic, the guy in a male female relationship who purchases these can simply claim that this is simply a sexy pair of underwear that can be worn as a prelude to having partner sex.

Still, a real pair of swim briefs has some real advantages over a swim brief-like pair of sold as underwear, in part because the real swim brief tends to be made of heavier-weight material, a distinct advantage for a guy trying to put his penis in a particular spot within the swim brief. Why this is important is because a guy’s penis is not uniform with respect to arousal sensations. The glans area and tip are obviously ultra-sensitive to touch, but also, the underside of the penis is significantly more fun to touch and fondle than the top side, so the trick is to wear a swim brief in a small enough size that when a semi-erect penis is positioned forward and upward inside the brief. That way, in that position, just a gentle touch along the underside will be extremely pleasurable. Combine this with some tapping or touching at the glans area, and the guy is quickly off into masturbation nirvana, just a great place to be.

Of course, in such a setting, the guy will likely start to drip fluid from the Cowpers. What happens is a wet spot soon forms on the brief right at the penis tip. Every guy should be aware that such dripping is not necessarily a prelude to a full-blown ejaculation, and with practice it is possible to drip fluid for hours at a time without ejaculating. This worries some guys, who get fixated on the idea that, if in a public setting everyone is suddenly focused on what amounts to a dime-sized wet spot of precum on the front of the brief. Let me assure you that dripping like this is something a normal, healthy male does when he is even slightly aroused, and if the guy did not want to be aroused then perhaps he should have refrained from wearing a snug-fitting swim brief, but that would be no fun at all.

Personally, I tend to see these precum drips as “proof” that what I am doing to myself is working, and dripping is almost invariably linked with pleasure pang sensations coming from down there. To me, this is way up there on the list of things that make it so much fun to be a male, and I think the wet spots should be viewed as simply part of what it means to be a male.

In conclusion, I have long thought about why it is that so many females seem to be adverse to guys who wear a swim briefs, whether fit or not. The reason that stands out to me is that at some level, many females realize that a guy wearing a snug-fitting swim brief is going to experience some sensations by himself that the female believes she should be responsible. More generally, the entire idea of a guy experiencing any sexual pleasure that is not directly connected to the experience of having male-female partner sex should not be permitted, and if a guy engages in such activities that even inadvertently leads to sexually-exciting sensations poses a threat to the control the female has over the male with respect to permitting or denying copulation. At some levels, this seems silly, but it is an explanation.