What to wear?

[sebbie]

Coming of Age

I grew up in a remote rural area, 60 miles from any store that would have carried boys’ clothing. We relied on mail-order companies for a lot of items that were not available locally, mainly Sears and Montgomery Wards. Most of my clothing I wore in these days were found on the pages of a Sears or Wards catalog. Early on, mom made all the purchase decisions only occasionally letting me express a preference.

Growing up, parents are always thinking about whether or not a child will likely wear out a garment first or, more likely, grow out of it. This concern applied not only to outer garments but to everything else including underwear and (gasp) swimming trunks. Best to order everything a size or two too big, as he may be able to wear the garment next year as well. Children, but boys in particular, need to always buy and wear clothes a size or two too big.

Of course, all of this is happening when a guy is deep into a discovery mode about the excellent sensations that can be experienced in the groin area, and that a lot of these super neat sensations are brought about and enhanced by wearing something snug fitting there. For young males, the groin area is like a candy store of sorts, but an even better candy store if the garment covering it is snug fitting, and optimally made of a super slick, perhaps even stretchy material.

That garment, of course, is exemplified by a swim brief, perhaps then made from a slick nylon, but even more so one made of a blend of fabric materials including the DuPont Lycra. Lycra in the fabric not only guaranteed that the fabric would stretch to fit beven if undersized ut also fit skin tight.

Of course, there was a down-side to all of this. By the time a guy was old enough to realize how much fun it would be to wear a stretchy Lycra-enhanced swim brief he was also old enough to realize that wearing one in public could lead to some embarrassing “appearance issues” as his penis was going to be delighted to just be in such a garment, and the guy soon realized that anything could happen, and that his penis was not easily taken off course even his brain told him that in public that is probably not where any guy wanted to be.

The Summer sale catalogs from Sears and Wards carried an assortment of swimwear for both boys and men, and among the myriad of plaid boxers there was always a brief or two. I desperately wanted one of these briefs, settling for a series of plaid boxers, each with the woven nylon brief-style inner liner, but I never convinced mom of that, and had to wait until college to be able to buy what I wanted, and even then I needed to be somewhat secret.

I have often thought that coming of age for a young male should be at the point in time where the guy tells his parents that he is old enough to be able to pick out the clothing he would like to wear, but in particular the underwear and swimwear he wants, but this never happened that way for me. A lot of this is also related to a young male recognizing that some private time is important on the way to adulthood, but for me, that was limited as well. The upshot for me was that an adult living away from my family home, I have always placed high value on having private time, and the idea of being alone and then lonely does not compute.

For a lot of guys, what I am talking about here leads right into having a relationship with what might become a sexual partner, and this then leads directly into thoughts such as “how do I get my partner aroused?” and then “what shape and size of underwear would my partner like to see me wearing?” On the swimwear front, there comes this issue of whether or not the swimwear will be worn in a place where others might see me in it. And, of course, whether or not the swimwear might reveal a bulge in a provocative place etc etc.

For straight guys, will my girlfriend like seeing me in a Speedo? Or does this question actually have two different answers depending on whether the guy is with his girl in private or if the guy is wearing the Speedo in a public or semi-public place where other females might ogle.

Gay men are generally used to seeing other gay men in tight-fitting swim briefs, so this is less of an issue for them, if at all. Still, I have often tried to rationalize why so many women seem angry at even the thought of a guy wearing a Speedo. After all, women routinely wear skimpy, revealing clothing clothing in public settings, and I am not aware that guys normally would complain and even get angry about that. But a female freaking out because a guy is in a Speedo in public goes against the female instinct that says her guy is her own, not still some target for other women to ogle over.

Somehow I managed my way through a lot of this, and looking back I have no regrets. Ultimately I got to do what I wanted to do even with some obstacles along the way. Unlike a lot of other guys, I never concluded that a sexual relationship is the ultimate path to happiness over a lifetime, in part because I would probably have had to give up a lot of activities that have made me very, very happy. I like things just the way they are, and I am equally happy that so much of what I have written on the subjects have proven to be such popular reads for others.

All is well!