[sebbie]

Spending the Night in a Cup

by David Sebringsil

This story is intended primarily for those men who are not involved in an intimate relationship with another person. It is also intended for men who at times must spend a considerable amount of time away from their partner. Just because an individual is not involved with another person does not mean that a person is asexual, and is somehow doomed to never experience the interesting sexual sensations that their bodies are capable of producing. Indeed, many men living under such conditions could actually be experiencing a great deal more fun than their counterparts that are involved in intimate relationships. You may understand why this could be possible as the story proceeds.

Most men learn how to masturbate under very unfortunate set of circumstances. What is learned in our youth is very interesting-- masturbation is at once extraordinary fun, but somehow evil and something that any real man should be ashamed of. Thus, while most men enjoy masturbation immensely (Authors of a few sex manuals I have read argue that for many men, the orgasms are even stronger than those involved in heterosexual intercourse), they soon learn that in order not to be "discovered," they must complete the act from arousal to orgasm very quickly--perhaps in the space of a few minutes, likely in the bathroom, if possible; and perish the thought of having sheets and pajamas covered with ejaculate.

What's a fella to do after ejaculating in bed? Turn the light on to get up, clean up, and change pajamas? This will likely attract attention from whoever else is in the room or house, whether that be a roommate, a parent or another family member. The message is quickly learned that while masturbation (even involuntary masturbation from wet dreams) is a great deal of fun, the feeling of cold ejaculate for the rest of the night on the pajama leg is not fun, but must be endured to avoid being embarrassed by being "discovered." It's either that or a quickie masturbation session in he bathroom, all the time hoping that no one breaks in to ask why you are taking so long.

And it gets no better as men get older and move away from home. I routinely visit with college students over e-mail who are absolutely terrified of the thought that somehow their roommate or another male friend might discover that they masturbate. I'm not sure what the social signals are here--perhaps that any male who masturbates is somehow unable to form a relationship with a woman? Perhaps this means a person is gay? Why the extreme embarrassment about masturbation even among college students who brag about their other sexual conquests is unclear.

Whatever society is saying here is badly messed up. Masturbation is no sign of weakness, sexual preference, or anything else. Sure, gays masturbate, but virtually every other healthy male masturbates sometimes regardless of their sexual orientation, most throughout their lives.

Nearly every male thinks he does it more than he "should" as if there was some sort of nature-limited allocation. Occasionally, a man might not masturbate regularly if he is in a relationship in which he engages in partner sex so frequently that he lacks the energy do it any other time. Even here it gets confusing, because many forms of partner sex involve mutual masturbation or activities very similar to masturbation. After all, what is foreplay but a form of mutual masturbation? In addition, my hunch is that for most men, masturbation as a form of sexual play occurs far later into life than many people realize.

The problem, of course, is that like most other forms of sexual activity, masturbation is a great deal more fun if it can be taken slowly, with each sensation enjoyed for what it is, and with no concern for being discovered. Furthermore, unlearning the quickie techniques learned in childhood can not only be fun, but even ultimately enhance one's sex life should one get involved in an intimate relationship. Like other forms of sexual activity, it's important to introduce variety in masturbation. Part of the fun of sexuality is the unexpected; the unknown. With this background on masturbation, my story begins about spending a night in a jockstrap.

Before describing a technique employing a hard-cup jock strap, let me first say that I am a big proponent of sexual activities that are not dangerous and do no harm to anyone, and do not transmit disease. If they do not even require a partner, all the better. The approach I suggest here earns an A on all counts.

The internet is abuzz with discussions related to jock straps--A whole news group alt.support.jock-strap is devoted to it. This newsgroup does not exist because of widespread interest in what needs to be worn to protect oneself during contact sports--there is obviously something with sexual overtones going on here. In describing the following technique, I am indebted to one of my e-mail newsgroup contacts, who provided me with some ideas I had not thought of, but I have added some additional ideas of my own that seem to work for me.

Most men, when they think of sexual feelings, tend to identify with the pleasant sensations obtained from stroking the penis, particularly the underside of the head, or the area technically called the frenulum (Has it occurred to everyone that there is a biological reason why nature made that particular spot is so ultra-sensitive? e-mail me and I will explain my theory on that further). But the entire groin area is one giant erogenous zone, including little recognized places such as the inner thighs, and in particular, the area between the scrotum or anus.

Thus, any article of clothing that comes into contact with any of these areas is capable of introducing sensations, some perceived as being clearly sexual, others not, and still others in a strange halfway region that depends on the particular situation. Most men have trouble interpreting signals in this latter category. Most of these sensations are pleasant, but some are interpreted by the brain as being more nearly sexual than others. Is the simple act of putting on a tight fitting pair of underwear sexual or not? I suppose that depends on how the individual interprets the tactile signals. The underWWWear site has served an important function in showing that there are a lot of men, regardless of orientation, who are not certain what to make of all this. However, if you interpret a sensation to be sexual, then for you it undoubtedly is.

Jock straps are of interest because they are the one article of clothing (underwear) that by design and purpose, fit very tight to the groin, perhaps tighter than any other garment. But as the underWWWear site suggests there is also a good deal of quasi-sexual interest in brief and thong swimwear, cycling and compression shorts that contain spandex and the like. (I'm still trying to figure out loose-fitting "boxer people"in this regard. Something similar must be going on based on their observed behavior--perhaps some of you could clue me in on the details of how you interpret the tactile signals from loose fitting boxers. I don't mean to demean my friends who wear boxers, its just that the tactile signals appear to me to be less clear)
Now for the fun part. Actually, you may or may not find this activity fun depending on your mindset. But bear with me. As is widely recognized, the sex organs of a man's body go through a number of erection cycles during the night, some of which may ultimately lead to an unintended orgasm or wet dream. Because of the pressure, any article of clothing that fits tightly to any part of the groin area, (including but not limited to the penis and scrotum} will tend to produce new and perhaps interesting and unanticipated sensations as these arousal cycles proceed. The brain may interpret many of these sensations as providing a great deal of fun (or it may simply interpret them as simply wearing uncomfortable clothing!)

More than a few men enjoy wearing jockstraps as sleepwear. Others who interpret the tactile signals differently (and they have every right to. It's their brain!) describe the sensations in very non-sexual terms--simply as uncomfortable. There appear to be two categories of men: those that prefer loose-fitting clothing and those who enjoy tight fitting clothing as sleepwear. I clearly fall into the latter group. (I also suspect that the loose-fitting group are big on masturbating quickly, focusing almost exclusively on the penis, but that is another arguable story/theory of mine, which will probably result in outcries from the boxer crowd!)

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