[sebbie]

Looking Back

This has been a long and interesting journey. As Internet sites go, I think we can agree that this Web site is relatively obscure—it certainly does not have millions of visitors, and, in recent years, only a limited number of new posts and comments. As those who have been following me for a long time, everyone know that I have posted a comparatively large amount, but the preponderance of my posts in recent years have been under two titles on the “Story Center” section of the Web site,

I have been checking back. I started the “What to Wear” Story way back in May of 2015. and the “Thoughts on just being a guy” Story in May of 2019, the latter in part because I thought maybe the What to Wear line had simply gotten too big for readers to easily navigate.

As of this morning, the end of May, 2024 What to Wear (WTW) contains 447 posts, some of which are comments and replies by others, and Thoughts on Just Being a Guy (TAG) has 228 posts and comments. As of this morning WTW has had 258,141 visitors and readers and TAG has had 147, 641 visitors and readers, for a total of 405,782 visitors and readers. I view cracking the 400,000 mark in visitors and readers as something of a milestone.

The content is proving to be quite popular and it is being found even in a fairly well-hidden location. Of course, the stories I have regularly written represent something of a long-time personal journey for me that can be summarized by the simple statement “Every adult male can still have a great deal of personal enjoyment with his body even if he is not in a relationship with another person!” And further, “I will explain in detail the simple, safe techniques I employ to accomplish that and you can experiment with them yourself!”

You and your partner might find some of these techniques to be quite enjoyable if you are in a relationship, but do not fret if you are not, as the techniques work anyway!

Of course, in this group, some of these techniques might involve crawling into a too-tight swim brief and then seeing how your body “reacts” under such circumstances, but this is merely part of a larger and even more engaging picture of what you can do to, with and by yourself, either in the presence of a partner, or not.

Of course, over the years, the public perception of what constitutes normal sexual behavior or not has changed dramatically. Prior to about 1970, gay guys were treated as abnormal people who had a medical issue that could be “treated” by a knowledgeable psychiatrist. Etc Etc Etc. We all know the path this has taken in recent years even with regard to what is normal with respect to gender identity.

With all of these changes, the subject of solo sex aka masturbation aka self pleasuring is still kinda treated as abnormal, and the public still has not really gotten its head around the notion that somehow a guy who pulls on a skimpy swim brief and then masturbates into it is abnormal, relationship-challenged or some other equally derisive category. After all, in all this, male self pleasuring involving a garment is an abnormal fetish. The guy is more fond of the garment then having a real sexual relationship with a partner, etc etc.

Still, for many adult guys, the things they learned about their own bodies starting at puberty do not simply disappear when one reaches adulthood or even when one starts engaging in partner sex. The stuff I learned when I was 14 stuck like glue to my brain, and over the years I discovered a whole lot more. A basic problem I had as an adult is that I knew that if I got in a relationship, I simply was not going to be able to either act like what I knew about myself was not there or that a partner was going to ultimately be such a great substitute. I would never want to think back about all the fun I had when I was single! If others think partner sex was the way to go, fine for them, but the whole idea of a partner being a complete substitute for me was never going to happen. I would be miserable. I was simply having too much fun as a single person to want to mess up my life by constantly dealing with a partner.

Of course, guys move in and out of relationships with partners all the time. If having a sexual relationship with a partner is so all important, why do divorces take place? The bigger question, of course, is that if for whatever reason I no longer have a partner, how can I deal with my bodily urges in a satisfactory way? I know some guys think the only solution is to find another partner ASAP, but I have talked to men who have been married and divorced and then get into relationships and marry again, and this is still not satisfactory at all.

Still, if the guy has concluded that the only circumstance that works is to be with a partner then I guess that pairing up is the only solution. What I am saying is that there are solutions that are sexually- satisfying and do not involve another partner, but so long as you are led to believe that these solutions must be somehow “abnormal” then these solutions are not going to work for you.

I bounce around the porn sites on the Internet. The interesting idea I spot there is that any porn video involving male solo sex is automatically placed in the gay male section. The assumption I guess is that anyone wanting to learn about how other males pleasure themselves would be of interest only to guys who self-identify as gay. That does not seem correct to me at all. There could be an entire separate section devoted to solo-sex techniques. Indeed, the question I was constantly pondering as a young teen was whether or not my peers were experiencing the same things I was experiencing, and how they were dealing with the situations they faced. But the only thing teen males are usually willing to talk about is their encounters with females. The subject of what a guy does in bed alone at night, under the cover of darkness, still remains completely hidden from view.

Unless of course, you start reading the discussion in WTW and TAG! That I have shown a light on even some of this and others enjoy the stories is a great reward!