[sebbie]

Thoughts on Just Enjoying Being a Guy

The neatest thing about being a guy is actually NOT the sex with a partner, but rather that a guy can thoroughly enjoy himself WITHOUT being with a partner (without having relationship sex) and still be very happy. Guys all figure out a lot of this part of being a guy starting in their early teens, at puberty, or maybe even before. The male body is capable of all sorts of interesting and enjoyable sensations that seem to start in the genitalia and groin area but are psychologically-driven. This could come about in a partner relationship as well, but I suspect that over a lifetime, the average guy has more sexual experiences that lead to orgasm in the absence than with a partner. Certainly this varies a lot by individual.

Some guys make the transition from solo activities to activity involving a sexual partner at a very early age, and teen sex apparently is commonplace for these individuals. Of course, teen partner sex carries risks, including the all important “what if she gets pregnant?” concerns that often limits what the two people might do. Whenever partner sex occurs to orgasm with young people there are always serious issues to be concerned.

For guys, sexual activity without a partner has no real downside, other than the guy needs a degree of privacy and may be inordinately concerned that his “hobby” will be discovered by someone he doesn’t want to know about what he is doing. So the game becomes one of being careful about ensuring that you are alone and finding a unembarrassing way to ensure that evidence of the activity is hidden.

Still, as male hobby’s go, solo sex is way up there as being a really enjoyable and sustainable hobby with few if any downside risks.

I got to thinking about the history of porn as a technique for helping a guy jerk off in private. The 1950s and 60s were probably dominated by the porn magazines with explicit photos of nude females and their genitalia—Playboy then the more explicit Penthouse and so on. Stores selling these magazines tried to keep them from being purchased by teen males interested in using the pictures for sexual stimulation, since having an orgasm was something suitable for adult males over 18 LOL. That did not stop teen males from accumulating these magazines one way or another. Sometimes a guy got his nerve up and shared them with close male peers, but mostly, jerking off to magazine porn fulfilled a need and was a solo sex activity.

There were, of course, X-rated movie houses that showed porn films, but generally these were located in core urban areas and for most young teens were not able to view these. If they could figure out a way to get to the theater undetected there was still the problem of a firm “18 or older” rule for admission.

Cable TV in the 1970s included a lot of channels that would not be available on broadcast TV including some movies kids under 17 could not view in a theater without an older person tagging along. But even the new pay TV outlets—in the early days, Cinemax—were starting to show some real porn (aka films that had previously only been seen in X-rated theaters) if you stayed up and viewed late at night. But there were also low-cost video recorders, so guys put the video recorder on timed recording and simply made a tape of the movie. Not only that, there were video tape rental places that usually had an X-rated section with many of the same movies, but generally a 15-year old could not wander into a video store and rent one of these tapes, which again was limited to the 18-and-up crowd.

Finally we get into the modern, Internet era, when lots of explicit porn is available free, and often with few if any restrictions on the person accessing the porn. The age restrictions, if present at all, are usually a joke—asking a guy at a laptop if he is over 18 and the guy simply has to say he is. So young people get an education about a lot of how sex works stuff at a much earlier age than they used to, and of course the people who make this stuff keep coming up with interesting ways to do things that that will attract viewers either done alone or with a partner, male or female.

A colleague of mine remained single for a number of years as an adult male. Then he found a female he wanted to marry, but in the meantime he had accumulated a large number of copies of Playboy and Penthouse magazines. He knew his new bride would probably not be happy if he brought the magazines into the marriage, but he did not just want to toss the magazines in the trash. I ended up with a bunch f them that I still keep in a briefcase under my bed. I have not looked at them in decades, though, far preferring other means for arousing myself.

For the readers here, I have no idea what percentage of teen males currently like to jerk off using an item such as a snug-fitting swim brief as an “aid” to helping the process along. Or for that matter, how many guys get horny thinking just thinking about being in the right brief. I suspect the “I would never do that” phase some guys have about wearing a swim brief in public relates to the idea that once in the swim brief, things may quickly lead to a situation that gets out of control and embarrassing if others are around.

What I do know is that the “right” garment (some would say “wrong” garment) as in anything that makes a guy feel horny) whether that is a swim brief or thong designed either as snug-fitting underwear or for swimming, jock strap, compression shorts, compression tights or anything else that works for you as in makes you psychologically aroused or horny, certainly is an alternative to looking at stupid photos in an old magazine. Furthermore, getting horny employing one or more of these garments and maybe concluding with an orgasm requires only a degree of privacy. This is far less complicated and messy than trying to cut a deal over dinner with a female partner, so why not?

I suppose guys who have “embraced” partner sex as the idealized way to get off would have it no other way, and find all this other solo sex in adulthood discussion to be unwarranted. Some guys seem to believe that anything that gets a guy off that is not a sexual partner is not only silly but perhaps even childish. Instead, I tend to view this as a great way for a guy to enjoy life without having to deal with the complicated and often messy aspects of partner sex. Nothing “wrong” with that at all!