Gkag, I've been following along with your posts. There is an increasing sense of joy in your writing, as you are pushing against (AND overcoming!) the fears which are, in fact, are actually the "Cowards of the Conscious." Tell these fears to go to hell, and they will last as long as snowballs in a hot oven. Your on the right path! Take it step by step. Keep us informed of your progress. Know that we are cheering you on! Celebrate each new breakthrough as you reclaim YOUR body and being from the "Clutches of the Clueless Conformists!!"