[sebbie]

Part 2 Two Years of College to go
continuation of previous post

So, my brother had finished his degree and was planning on marrying, but I still had two years of college to go. And the old problem was back. The dorm rooms were doubles, and I was uncomfortable with the idea of living in the same room as a guy who was randomly assigned to my room. Besides, I had more than a few “habits” and “likings” than another normal sexually-active straight guy might think as weird, annoying, or otherwise impossible to deal with and I was struggling with this and what it might mean for the way I lived.

I could not exactly make public that I was seeking a roommate who enjoyed solo sex as much as I did and was willing to not only deal with my “perversions’ but in some manner become part of what I was doing. In short, a gay roommate in 1967, even a semi openly gay roommate would be pretty weird. At some level I knew that there must be other guys who enjoy solo sex at least as much as I do, but the idea of a somehow shared solo sex experience with your college roommate was way out there. For that matter I wasn’t even thinking about sharing what I was doing by myself with anyone, even as a subject of discussion not a demonstration.

Fortunately, the University made a solution available to me that solved all my problems. A new 9-story dorm had just gone up and it was not like living in a military barracks. Instead of a bath down the hall, the new dorm had 8 floors of suites, each suite consisting of two double rooms and a shared area consisting of a sink, wall phone, enclosed shower and a toilet in another enclosed area. Instead of being clad in a towel to go to the bathroom and shower, guys living in the rooms could go into the common area wearing almost nothing or nothing at all. These floors were set up so that each two floors shared a common lounge area and elevator access. But even more interesting is that on every floor ONE of the suites was set up for 5 men not 4, and the 5th person did not share a room with a roommate put had a separate private room still sharing the common area. Since there were only 8 of these single dorm rooms on the entire campus I needed to get up early to get my name in for one of them.

And that I did! I ended up having the most prime piece of dorm real estate on the entire campus—the single room on the top or 9th story of the brand new dorm with a window looking out to the city airport with planes landing regularly. This was completely private when I wanted my privacy. A great place to study AND jerk off in with privacy. Besides I also had 4 “suite mates” that I could interact with but only to the degree that I wanted.

The other two rooms had four guys, one room with two brothers one a year older than the other, The second room had a football player in it, a burly guy who was also something of a jokester. His roommate was a guy that I remember little about, That roommate like to drink, was probably an alcoholic, and having booze in the dorm room was very much frowned upon to the point where discovery usually meant that the student would be dismissed. I remember walking into the room and seeing his closet foiled with a shelf of booze---it looked like the shelf of a liquor store. The dorm counselors soon figured out what was going on. The guy spent little time in the dorm room and I never knew if he left college on his own or was banned, but he wasn’t around much at all.

The older brother and I became quite good friends and the younger brother too. They were quite different. The older brother was a serious scholar but the younger brother was not fond of college. The younger brother liked to play jokes on people, stupid but never really mean stuff, like putting black shoe polish on the black toilet seat. The older brother was annoyed by this to a degree. And the football player was something of a jokester too, so the younger brother and the football player hit it off.

One day the two of them decided it would be fun to gross out their suitemates. They both put on boxer shorts and then both lay on the football players bed and started grabbing each other’s penises trough the cloth and massaging each other. They were never nude, but all of the suitemates were seeing all of this in real time—two guys jerking each other off with an audience. The older brother thought this was pretty weird but he was used to seeing his brother misbehave in various ways. I just watched in silence as all of this went on.

At least not publicly, neither of them got to the point of ejaculation though it was becoming pretty obvious to me that neither of them was that far away, They suddenly stopped cold. Maybe they both thought that ejaculate was too much for their captive audience to bear. But for me the event raised questions in part because this happened not once but several times in the full view of others in the suite. And I was filled with questions about stuff I had never thought about before, in particular was one or both of these guys gay, and doing this in a situation whereby what was happening was only semi private? Was all of this just another big practical joke on the rest of us and the behavior was what they were claiming it was, just a silly effort to gross out their suitemates in a world of 1968 where gay interactions were deeply frowned upon? The University had no explicit rules banning masturbating your roommate! So far as the university was concerned, gay sex did not exist only straight sex, and they did have rules that attempted to ban straight sex in the dorms.

Thar the alcoholic roommate who often was not in the room night after night meant that the football player was living as a single guy much like I was, and the younger brother may have wandered into the football player’s room at night, and then did more of the same. Lots of odd stuff goes on in dorms in a setting where everyone is male.

I’ve thought about these guys and this incident many times in part because when I saw it I was really naïve about gay sex. And I read that a lot of males have what would be called a same-sex encounter with another male that essentially goes nowhere—the guy marries and penis-vagina sex becomes the replacement for the gay sex, and life goes on as a straight male.

I know that the younger brother left school without completing a degree. He really did not like being in college. But he soon married and lived his life with a woman. The football player I completely lost track of. But, all of this happened in an era when it would be considered really odd if a big burly college football player ever admitted to having engaged in sex in any form with another male in any form including jerking off each other. So to this day I think that guy may have been a deeply hidden gay guy and this was a way to play out a fantasy under the guise of everything being a gross out joke on the suitemates.

Me, I’m still struggling with the whole idea of two males both enjoying wearing snug-fitting Speedos and both at the same time masturbating only themselves not each other, but at the same time and in the same private space, and whether that fantasy should be labeled as gay.