[sebbie]

So, how snug would you like this to fit?

This is a “classic” question a store clerk asks when helping a guy pick out the right size for all sorts of different clothing items, not only briefs and swimwear, but items like jeans, and even shirts and full suits. And, styles change, narrow jeans and form-fitting suits are very popular right now.

If the guy were to be truthful, he would say “just snug enough so that merely wearing the item would make me feel horny and aroused!” But guys are never truthful on this subject.

I confess, I sometimes entertain myself by on occasion visiting the major internet porn video sites. One most interesting thing I have discovered is that the sites are divided as to being either the straight section or the gay section. My interest is ordinarily in the solo sex or male masturbation videos, and, oddly enough these are all found in the gay section.

Maybe if I were ever moved to visit the straight side I would discover that this is also the repository for female masturbation videos, as in this is something a straight guy maybe would enjoy watching. But if I want to see males masturbating, this can only be found in the gay section never mind these may be interesting to some females. All of this is very curious. I never thought that straight guys somehow have no interest in engaging in solo sex but that gay guys somehow always do. This idea would be consistent with the 13-year old male bully who accidentally discovers a male classmate masturbating and starts teasing and bullying the classmate because what he saw somehow “proves” that the classmate is gay.

Personally, I am turned off not turned on by most of the partner gay videos featuring gay sex, in part because they most often depict acts of oral or anal sex and are often quite violent. But personally, I am not wired in a way that in any circumstance sees oral or anal sex as psychologically or physically arousing, but I would say the same about seeing these same acts between a man and a woman on the “straight” site as well. And watching a male and female engage in penis-vagina sex is no turn-on either. Maybe this is why I have remained single all my life. Now watching another guy try on a new snug-fitting swim brief—THAT is a real turn-on, both psychologically and physically. Watching a guy masturbating another guy with his hand is not interesting either because I realize that successful self-abuse involves fine interaction between one’s mind and body and this is impossible if another guy is doing the masturbating.


Then I watch the news. A lot of guys somehow claim to be “normal heterosexuals” when in fact their behaviors are anything but normal in this regard. And this even gets into engaging in illegal and dangerous acts at times. Let me toss out a few names of famous people once considered by the public to be normal straight males. Harvey Weinstein. Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton. Or gay males like Kevin Spacey. Then let me add some more names of people who might have done highly questionable things under the guise of just being being a normal straight guy Andrew Cuomo, Prince Andrew, Donald Trump, Bill Gates. Even Joe Biden might appear on this list, having a penchant for hugging females he has barely met, if at all. Is this a way Biden gets turned on sexually, if really weirdly repressed? And we are living in a world in which women (and men too) are more routinely coming forward to complain about being confronted with inappropriate male behavior often by well-known individuals. But I presume a lot of this same thing happens in the world of guys who are not famous.

These thoughts all help clear my mind on a couple of different subjects but in the process raise some more issues. First, if penis-vagina sex was so much fun and so wonderful, why did I choose to remain single all my life having no interest whatsoever in even being close to a woman let alone engaging in penis-vagina sex with her?

Second, if having a male partner is so important in being gay, why am I so turned off even by watching a video of two guys engaging in oral or anal intercourse or even in a partner “hand job”. For me, this is simply not where it is where it is at, either.

So, perhaps I am asexual or even non-sexual and maybe do not have feelings of arousal at all? But that is not at all true either. I greatly enjoy the sexual aspects of being a male in very profound ways, it’s just that I am most aroused in situations where I am the only one and in full control. I think about all the guys who have gotten themselves into trouble in efforts to be with a sexual partner. I have been the wingman in a bunch of different divorces, and the question that I always end up thinking about but never quite dare ask, is that if penis-vagina sex is ultimately such a wonderful part of life, why are the two of you seeking to get out of the situation you have been in. I suppose the answer for some males is because that my partner refuses to have sex with me any more. Then, on occasion I encounter a married couple who do not have sex even irregularly and I scratch my head as to why both partners seem to be fine with that. After all, isn’t the main reason why two people get together is to have regular partner sex? Well maybe, but maybe not.

Believe it or not, I think the main reason I decided to remain single my entire life is that early on I developed a bunch of different ways for doing things to, by and with myself, and at some point I quickly discovered that if I found a partner, male or female, I would have to give up a bunch of activities that I hold dear, with no real chance for integrating a lot of the things I most like do do into a relationship. The partner likely would find me more than weird in that regard, and any marriage would last 24 hours, tops.

Besides, my lifestyle has caused me zero problems. I am not paying off a big divorce settlement. Nor have I caused any unwanted pregnancies. Nor have I ever been infected with HIV or other venereal disease. I do have a drawer brimming with swim briefs in all sorts of cuts and sizes. And another drawer filled with straps some with cups and some without. Another drawer, more recent, has several different VED pumps. Then there is the pile of snug-fitting blue jeans, and another big pile of running tights, compression tees and shorts and all manner of other snug fitting underwear and other similar clothing. Should I suddenly drop dead, whoever cleans all of this out is going to have a heck of a time trying to determine what I have been up to by doing things to, with and by myself.

Which brings me back to Jason, the college student who likes to masturbate at night, under the covers, wearing a really tight swim brief, but to not make what he is doing obvious to his recently-acquired dorm roommate. At some level, Jason is wondering about whether or not his roommate would enjoy engaging in some of the nighttime activities Jason is enjoying, but the big question is how to provide the roommate with just enough hints such that the roommate starts asking questions, and can Jason be open and truthful about what he is doing? I keep thinking about what a turn-on just being back in a double dorm room would be with the night-time erections and trying to understand where a guy you have only recently met is with respect to the stuff I am doing and that I refuse to discontinue doing simply because my living accommodations are with another guy in a double room with no real privacy and his bed but 6 ft away from mine, maybe less.