[sebbie]

Part LXLVI

Sexual relationships are frequently not all they are cracked up to be. Being alone is frequently not all that it is cracked up to be, but for different reasons. In both instances, there are all sorts of different things that can and do happen.

For starters, every guy is “wired” a little differently in this regard. Some guys’ entire lives seem to be built around being in a sexual relationship with another person, and these guys cannot imagine living their adult life any other way (not me). Other guys like living alone and are without the psychological burdens of being in a sexual relationship with another person. They see being in a relationship as something they do not tolerate, let alone enjoy. Still other guys seem to move back and forth over and over, living for a time in a relationship, then alone, then back in. (This approach can get really expensive dollar-wise in a hurry, especially for the guys going through several marriages and then divorces, not to mention the possible trail of kids along the way).

Every guy is wired differently in this respect and each guy makes a series of choices along the way, choices sometimes made while enjoying a hard penis but sometimes and even often not. This is the interesting part about being a guy—the navigation end of it. What do I do now? How much of this can I tolerate? Etc. etc. Life is filled with options and choices and a lot of these choices are difficult to make.

Me? I’ve always been in love with living alone. I watch these other guys deal with all of this in their own individual ways and a lot of it seems to make them uneasy—even scared—not happy. I keep comparing it all with the life I enjoy and keep coming to the conclusion that for me, at least, there is no comparison. I love my life just the way it is.

Still, as a single guy not in a relationship there COULD be something missing. Something some of the guys seem to think is very important to their personal well being. What could that be? Well, you already know the answer to that question, or at least I think you do. I had some fun times growing up, and at my age I finally feel at least somewhat comfortable writing about them. Guys fall out of sexual relationships every day. Not only great divorce battles, but the illness or death of a spouse, or a spouse may decide that she is not up to having sex any more. That can happen too. What is a guy to do then? Crawl in a corner and sulk? Does the end of a sexual relationship mean that the guy will never have another orgasm, or that orgasms will return only if another partner is found? I should hope not.


Let me give you four prepositions to think about when navigating through life as a guy. The four Prepositions are WITH, BY, FOR, and TO. Think about pairing each of these four prepositions with the words “YOUR PARTNER”. Now this is starting to make a little sense because suddenly and obviously I am talking, about a partner-based sexual relationship.

Most obviously this is going to be happening WITH YOUR PARTNER. But your partner is going to be an active participant in the goings on so what you are doing is in part BY YOUR PARTNER, but also FOR YOUR PARTNER, because you would at least like to assume that your partner will RECEIVE some gratification from who you are and what you are doing. That goes right along with TO YOUR PARTNER in that you expect that as a result of your efforts your partner will be in a better place from a psychological and sexual perspective. Both partners both get to benefit and both get and receive gratification from the act.

Now let me toss out the possibility that WITH YOUR PARTNER” could be replaced with the word “YOURSELF.” That simple chance creates all new meanings for each preposition. Indeed, the phases now all suddenly become “code words” for masturbation.

Look at the phrase “WITH YOURSELF” If ever there was a code phrase for masturbation that one is it. I am the one who is going to be in charge, and I enjoy playing WITH MYSELF.

To me, at least, the phrase “BY MYSELF” is a bit less overtly sexual because many guys like to do things by themselves that are not focused on stroking the penis, but BY MYSELF could still be a code word for masturbation as an activity mixed in with other non-overtly sexual activities.

The phrase “FOR MYSELF” is really interesting, because it implies that what I am doing to myself I find to be thoroughly enjoyable and I am doing it because I feel better when I do it and because I do it. I like it! I like it! A lot of guys seem to think that it is somehow “unmanly” if they admit even to themselves that they think masturbating is really pleasant and enjoyable and often get hung up comparing an orgasm from masturbation to their best orgasm-inducing episodes involving partner sex. In the comparison a masturbation-induced orgasm may or may not come up short relative to what happened in partner sex, but few guys would care to admit to anything other than that the partner sex was superior.

And finally, the phrase “TO YOURSELF” implies that a guy will be doing “stuff to his own body, and exploring places that he might not have always known existed. This is where the accumulated knowledge not only from the teen years but from a lifetime of exploring, touching and prodding. This accumulated knowledge is what makes being a guy so enjoyable, and the storehouse every guy accumulates in this respect should never be downplayed, alone or in a relationship.

To be continued…