[sebbie]

Part LXLVIV

I have a big dresser drawer containing a lot of the clothes that could be best labeled, bluntly put, as a collection of the “stuff I enjoy jerking off in.” I have often wondered if drawers like this are common with most other guys, or whether, in the quest of “secrecy” they simply mix in the really enjoyable items in with stuff they wear when they are not messing with themselves.

As my readers are already aware, I believe that the “activities” a guy engages in “by himself, with himself and to himself” is a really important part of who we are as guys. To deny this is to fall into the trap that so many writers seem to do of claiming that male “self-abuse” is not something that a guy should or will continue to engage in for a lifetime but merely a “childish” transitional activity that guys engage in until something bigger, better and more satisfying comes along—partner sex.

In my world this view is completely wrongheaded and in itself an infantile view of what it means to be a guy. I truly enjoy my own body. It’s been great fun over the years and even at my current age I still keep finding new ways to enjoy pleasuring myself. I’m totally hooked on being a guy, and I keep wondering if what I have learned is widely understood. It seems to me a lot of guys struggle with who they are as sexually awake human beings, and quickly get bogged down in complicated and messy relationships with sexual partners. It is nothing short of mind blowing to simply toss all that relationship stuff aside, and spend time instead just enjoy the freedom yu have of exploring your own body.

Over the years, my collection )dresser drawer full of) of “aids” has gotten pretty large, including not only a big collection of swim briefs, skimpy to not so skimpy, but a host of other things I enjoy being in. I have been sampling from the top of this drawer. Last night I decided to dig into the bottom and see if there was anything there that I had missed out on wearing. Turns out, there was.

I found an ancient little square-cut suit I had bought many years ago. It was not a skimpy cut, with about 5-inch sides. But the two things that attracted me in the first place was a cloth that had a shiny slick leather-look to it and what was clearly a size that now looked to be, well, undersized, actually a lot undersized. I was getting horny just thinking about the task ahead of me in getting myself into the suit. Like, so many guys here, I get a big “kick” just thinking about that especially if I am aware that the garment is going to be undersized. Then, once I am in will I be able to fall asleep and make it through the night still in the suit.

I pulled myself in, and started feeling how neat my groin area and glutes felt in that snug, slick fabric. Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about self-pleasuring that I am interested in passing on to other guys. I’ve seen a lot of videos of guys purportedly enjoying themselves and the only thing I can say is that from a sheer pleasuring perspective they are doing it all wrong. In this place there are basic methods and advanced methods. In the videos, usually they are approaching the situation as if they need to get this all over and get to the ejaculation part quickly for fear that one of their male classmates (or maybe even a parent or eventhe wife) is going to suddenly barge in on them.

The world of enjoying your own body is not doing it as fast as possible, but as slowly and deliberately as possible. This may make for a poor video on an X-video upload site, but it is by far a lot more enjoyable on a personal level. And the sheer pleasure of being a guy is ultimately what really matters.

So, I crawl into bed wearing this snug little pair of trunks, feeling horny, but the combination somehow acts like a sleeping pill and I doze right off.

At 5 AM I suddenly awaken, and immediately wonder how my penis has been doing in such a confined situation. So I start feeling around down there, and, interestingly, it is still quite flaccid, seemingly having “dozed off” as well. It was almost as if my penis was wondering when it was going to get some “attention”.

For starters, any situation like this slick and snug screams for a “penis up” positioning, and my penis was pointed down. So I start slipping it around so the underside not topside is pressing against the snug, slick fabric. My penis says to me “thanks, that is much better. I’m enjoying the position I am in now.”

The question then becomes what to fo next. Just a light tapping with my fingertips through that slick cloth feels really good, and each successive tap feels better and better. This form of self-pleasuring is just totally different from what you see in the videos of guys “doing” themselves. Someone in the same room as me probably would not know I was even doing anything with and to myself—the perfect college double dorm room masturbation technique. Except that I am starting to say out loud “I like that”. My brain is telling me something. A few more taps and I am saying “I really like that! I really like that!” louder still. Somehow saying that becomes part of the sheer pleasure of it all.

Then I expand the technique a bit by first tapping and then gently drawing my fingertip along the underside of my penis, slowly and deliberately. I think to myself “this is even better and how much I live the sensation of that fabric pressing firmly against my penis underside.” I say out loud “I REALLY like that.” I keep repeating that over and over.

Now, I COULD have quickly gone into the muscular contractions of a full-blown orgasm had I kept this up for a few moments more, but I like to think I know now exactly how to be “mean” to myself and know exactly when to stop. I want to wake up still feeling really horny (so I can still write detailed stories like this in the morning). And, having done some sorting, I know that the drawer still contains some other interesting items I can use as sleepwear for tonight and maybe in future nights. I can pick up tonight with another experiment and see what happens at 5 AM tomorrow morning. I am thoroughly enjoying myself with a huge amount of freedom and fondness for who I am as a guy. Other guys can tap into the same thing, exactly, should they choose to do. It is really not about getting off in a hurry but rather being tortoise-slow, relishing each step in the process and examining how you feel at each instant., screaming out in pleasure as events slowly and deliberately proceed.

To be continued…