[sebbie]

Part LXLII

Not long after puberty, I learned fully about the sheer joy of the male orgasm. Like other guys my age, I worried a lot about what I had discovered and what I was doing to myself, but in particular I worried about accidentally being discovered enjoying myself. Still, there was much to be learned. The thought of accidentally being discovered—it did not matter who—initially shaped how and when I masturbated. Under the covers in darkness was a lot “safer” than being caught enjoying oneself in the bathroom. Besides, when done in the bathroom it seemed that everything had to be done as quickly as possible, lest prying eyes figure out what was going on.

Only gradually did I manage to learn that like a lot of things in life, going slow is generally better than going fast and leads ultimately to a much more powerful and enjoyable orgasm. I experimented with something I now know as edging—getting aroused and hard nearly to the point of ejaculating, but then suddenly stopping just before I was about to go over the edge and cooling down a bit, then returning to the stroking technique I had been using, only to once again stop just in time to delay ejaculation. I quietly learned that a guy (me) could train myself to go through these stop-start episodes multiple times, and I started to notice that each time I pushed this right up to the edge, then pulled back, then waited a bit before restarting, my penis would keep getting a bit more erect, big and hard with each successive cycle. But playing with myself this way took time, lots an uninterrupted time, maybe a half hour or more instead of two or three minutes. For a young person, that much uninterrupted time is often tough to obtain. Still, the orgasm I would get after one of these multiple start-stop sessions was so good in comparison to the ones I had trying to get everything done in two or three minutes, that I knew I wanted to keep finding times and places where I could just be by myself without being accidentally interrupted.

Somewhat later in life I learned that what I was doing to and by myself in these extended sessions was in fact a commonly-employed method used by sex therapists to treat the male problem of premature ejaculation, whereby the guy comes far too quickly for his female partner to also have an orgasm. This problem leads to a host of other issues such as women “faking” orgasms in a not-very-successful effort to convince the guy that she came about when he did. So learning how to maintain a high level of arousal without ejaculating is a really useful skill for males to be able to accomplish, and this is what is generally meant when a guy is called a “great lover”. Great lovers have the edging technique down very well. There are a few other components to being a great lover but I will not take those up in detail right now.

So, here I am, a 72-year old who has had his prostate removed, and I am interested in getting back to my life pre-surgery even though I live alone without a sexual partner. Any of my readers here know that I am extremely fond of masturbation and had developed a lot of techniques prior to surgery that work very well. Post-surgery the medical people assured me that I could still have an orgasm sans ejaculate but that I might not have an erection. This is because the nerves that control blood flow to the penis are damaged and can take a long time to heal, if they heal at all. Yup, that is correct. But also I knew that an orgasm without being big and hard was not going to be as enjoyable as an orgasm that happened when I was rock-hard before the surgery.

But for surgical patients, the ability to get and sustain an erection is not only nice, but essential if a couple is to have penis-vagina sex. So rebuilding one’s ability to do this is a very practical problem. The four methods commonly employed are pills (i.e. Viagra, Cialis), injections, surgically installing a bladder that can be deflated and deflated, and the least invasive route, a widely-available penis pump.

My goal was to be able to come up with a method that would help my solo-sex orgasms feel as close as possible to what I was able to obtain via my multiple start-stop method prior to surgery, without having to take a pill, have an injection into my penis, or go in for another surgery. A penis pump seemed like the logical choice. I am very much aware that these devices are sold via prescription for treating erectile dysfunction including that arising from post-surgical prostate removal. But the devices are also sold as sex toys for recreational use by guys who are not treating a medical issue relating to erection but simply want to experiment with seeing how big and hard they can get.

I suddenly feel like I am once again only 13-years old, and learning something new about employing penis pumps day by day. Here is some of what I have learned.

The silicone rubber sheath that goes on the end of the pump where your penis enters should fit quite snug around your flaccid penis. The pump when activated will pull your penis right through the hole in the sheath even if it seems a little undersized at first. The problem with a looser fit is that the vacuum pump will start to pull your groin into the cylinder if not your balls, and this quickly ends up being quite painful. You really don’t want any body parts other than your penis inside the cylinder of the pump. At worse, once you are out of the pump you may need to wait a bit to remove the sheath. But think of the sheath as simply a slight variation on a silicone penis ring.

I still like the manual pump better than the electric-powered version. The manual pump gives better control over the exact moment my penis gets hit with a bit more vacuum. Once you are inside the pump, each squeeze of the bulb will inflate your penis by between a quarter to three-eights of an inch, and you will see a color change to a deep red as this goes on. Do this slowly. Go back to the idea of adding just a bit of vacuum and then waiting for a couple minutes while your penis adjusts to the new situation it is in. Go ahead and squeeze again. Gradually continue over a period of several minutes, then hold it that way.

Now release the vacuum pressure and your penis will quickly get smaller, but generally not as small as it was when you started. The snug fit of the silicone sheath hole helps in this regard. Again wait a couple minutes, and then gradually begin to build vacuum again but again slowly. This time you are going to try and make your penis just a bit harder, bigger in girth and longer so you want to edge up to just a little more. Again, once you get there, hold it that way for a couple minutes, and then again release the vacuum for a couple more minutes.

You are now getting the hang of it. This is a variation on the same edging technique you employed when you were 14 or so. The basic idea is to go through this same cycle several times with each cycle giving you a harder and longer penis. When you get to the point where you no longer think you can take another start-stop cycle, pull the cylinder off but leave the sheath still around your penis to help restrict blood flow out. Even with the pump out of the way you should be nice and big and hard.

I have had no problems maintaining a nice erection for quite awhile when the pump is removed. But if you fear losing your erection too quickly, you can also put a silicone penis ring around the sheath and put that on as you remove the pump and sheath. If you have a sexual partner who has been observing all of this, now is the time to try copulating. But if you don’t, not to worry. You are now in great shape to finish yourself off by stroking your erect and hard penis just like you have always done. Personally, I had the best and most powerful orgasm that I have had since before the surgery by employing this penis pump technique followed by stroking the underside of my penis.

If you enjoy masturbating in a swim brief like a lot of readers here do, this is also a great time to pull on your snuggest one and bring yourself to a full orgasm that way. And the methods I am suggesting here work equally well for guys who are just doing this recreationally and are not concerned with erectile dysfunction rehab.

To be continued…