[sebbie]

From my earliest teen years, maybe even before, nights had become a period of time I looked forward to for a host of different reasons, not the least of which I could pursue some thoughts and ideas I had that for a bunch of different reasons, I could not pursue during the day, at least not in the manner I was thinking about. I quickly learned that the sensations that my penis was capable of producing were fun, really fun, and interestingly they seemed to be coming from my mind as well. I soon realized that all of this, however initially strange and wonderful it was, was completely “normal” even though I didn’t exactly have anyone to share my newfound “information”. To me, this was scientific discovery at its very best, or maybe worst, depending on exactly how I was feeling about my body on any given day and whether or not I was simply enjoying myself in some special ways that I still did not fully understand or appreciate, and that whether or not what I was doing was something to feel somewhat embarrassed about or not.

After all, I was playing with myself and each night trying new and wonderful things. Not long after a guy discovers this, he learns that what he is doing to himself is technically called masturbation, a scary word on a bunch of different levels. A guy’s male peers seem to use the word as something of a joke in reference to what always seem to be the socially and perhaps physically inept male classmates—those that “couldn’t get a girl to do it with", however it is defined in those days.

A complicating issue is that masturbation in a lot of the books on young adulthood treat masturbation as something of a temporary condition young guys go through that likely will prove to be less and less interesting if at all as a guy gets a little older and develops a real relationship with another person, likely a girl. The notion that the relationship might be with another male is simply treated as if that would never happen, which in itself is certainly an interesting way of dealing with the subject, if not downright amusing from a current perspective.

Back in the 1970s, there was a popular book entitled ‘Everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask” which every guy my age read as something of a readable reference on sex and sexuality. The funny thing about that book is that the chapter titled masturbation treats the subject exactly like what I outlined above—something that guys mess around with shortly after puberty sets in but will soon lose interest.

Even more amusing is that the book treats the entire subject of being gay as an abnormal condition but treatable disease. This of course was consistent with how most psychiatrists viewed the condition back then. A gay guy who wanted to be straight only needed to find the right psychiatrist who would be able to recondition him in a different direction.

From the current perspective looking back, all of this seems pretty silly. A guy who marries a woman and then discovers that from time to time he is still yearning to enjoy himself on his own isomehow has a sick mind. A guy who marries a woman with the hope that this will somehow cure his sexual interest in other guys is somehow sick because it is not working out that way. Life sometimes, perhaps often, doesn’t follow the rules supposedly smart people write in books.

What does this have to do with a guy just kicking back and enjoying himself at night? Engaging in activity with yourself at night while wearing something loose-fitting can be fun, but perhaps not as much fun as wearing clothing that fits snugger and causes you to focus on the targeted body parts. This is easy to do and running experiments like this quickly become routine if you are an adult living alone. The task merely becomes one of finding some clothing items that might work as sleepwear and then trying them repurposed this way.

If you are with another person, either someone you think of as a sexual partner, or even a same-sex college dorm roommate, things can quickly get more complicated. Female sexual partners by and large will probably see your behavior as strange if not abnormal and perhaps hurtful, as in why is my guy doing this to himself alone when I am right here to please. Few women have any real understanding of how guys are wired in this regard.

I’ve always thought that gay male relationships are much more interesting in this respect in part because the other guy in the relationship probably better understands what and why you are doing this to yourself. One response would be to join in on the fun, as in two male masturbators each pushing themselves in novel and interesting ways.

What your brain is dealing with during the day influences what you might want to try at night. Yesterday I was reading about guys wearing snug-fitting Asian-style swim briefs. Part of what has long fascinated me about the fit is how these briefs are cut low enough to reveal just a bit of butt-crack, something most non-Asians would dare do, at least not in public.

Me, I have a few pair of Asian-style swim briefs, and, not surprisingly, they are cut a little low in back too, aside from being really snug-fitting. I decided I was going to try to wear one of these as sleepwear overnight. The brief fits so snug that I was already feeling pretty horny as soon as I pulled it on and was already oozing precum spots on the brief. You probably know how that goes too. I tried tugging it up in back but my butt-crack was still showing. I crawled into bed and pulled up the covers, but the feelings in my groin area were starting to get more and more intense, as the underside of my penis pressed against the front pouch of the brief. I expected that I would quickly fall asleep and wake up seven hours later still aroused but still wearing the brief. I started fondling my butt crack which was peeking out over the back of the brief. Sadly, I was off in 10 minutes, maybe less.

Oh well, maybe next time I try this stunt I will be able to make it a little longer, so to speak. For now, this idea gets 5 stars on my “interesting stuff for a guy to try doing at night” list.

To be continued…