[sebbie]

From the very first time I saw a guy wearing a swim brief, I knew that was something that I definitely wanted to be able to do myself. I didn’t know how I was going to set up a situation where I could do that, but something—I wasn’t sure what—was calling me, loudly. I just couldn’t seem to get out of my head the whole idea of having my groin area encased in such a skimpy, snug-fitting garment. I didn’t understand the nuances of what was driving me to think like this, except that whatever it was seemed to be coming through loud and clear and capturing my attention over and over.

At that age, I was still learning stuff about myself and my body. I supposed I was not unlike any other guy my age—I was starting to appreciate how sensitive my penis was to anything that touched it, my fingers perhaps, but what about articles of clothing that accidentally happened to rub against it. It didn’t take me long to learn that the likelihood of this happening was greater the snugger the garment, and that the material used in the garment could be important too—smooth and slick was going to feel better than rough and course.

Somehow, a swim brief checked all the boxes in this respect, better than anything else out there, at least at the time. Snug-fitting? Yup! Smooth and slick? Of course! For a guy who was enamored with the sensations his penis was capable of producing, a snug-fitting swim brief was the “mother lode” of discovery.

I didn’t fully understand or appreciate what was going on with me in this regard, except to realize that whatever it was seemed really important. I was excited about the prospects, but scared and concerned as well. Was I “normal”? Did other guys my age have these same issues and problems? Was what I was going through OK? Is this something that I should logically be ashamed of? These are complicated questions, and not questions any guy at that age should be able to resolve.

I naturally assumed that what I had accidentally uncovered here was a short-term, temporary phenomenon, and once I reached adulthood such “silliness” would get replaced with something still more complicated but better, as in sex with a female partner. I was clueless as to how that was supposed to work. The whole subject of having sexual fun while wearing a swimming brief seemed to be light years different from that of developing a relationship involving sex with a (female) partner. Surely these two ideas could not somehow co-exist, or could they?

Then there are all the complicated side questions. Starting with the question of what happens if I manage to somehow obtain a snug-fitting swimming brief and immediately get so turned on that all I want to do is jerk off in that? That is an obvious puzzle that needs a resolution. How am I going to pull that off given that is one thing that I would really like to experience. But I need privacy to pull that off. Where? When, and what if, by accident, I get discovered? How am I going to explain this to anyone who might figure out what I am doing to and with myself?

This is where life for guys gets really, really complicated. I keep imagining I am with a group of other guys my age who are all dealing with the same issue and doing the same thing. But is this realistic? Perhaps I could be the only guy who is having this problem and the other guys, not aroused at all when putting on their briefs, are just taking the whole thing in stride, wearing a snug-fitting swim brief is just as normal as sunshine! I’m getting really worried now.

But what if the other guys seem to be getting aroused to varying degrees as well? Perhaps I am NOT the only guy who has a problem. Things happen. I know I am really psychologically sensitive particularly when I see other guys wearing swim briefs with partially erect penises in the “up” position. Seeing the outline of the underside of a penis pressing hard against the swim brief somehow does stuff to me, stuff that happens in both my head and in my groin. I love it, but it makes me apprehensive as well.

Then there is the whole subject of drops of precum. I can’t help myself. If I see another guy in a swim brief penis clearly up, I can’t resist looking to see if he is dripping an occasional drop through the brief at the point where the very tip of the penis is located. Am I the only guy who pays any attention to this or is this normal for guys to do? Does this mean I am gay, or have a gay streak? What in the world is going on here from a psychosexual perspective?

I have yet to sort this all out. At one point I thought that this was all something guys might find interesting in their teen years, but then quickly discard as partner sex soon replaced such ideas. After all these years, that never happened and I still find these issues fascinating to ponder.

Now I read that biologically, all of this stuff is laid down in guys even well before puberty, at anderarche, as early as 6-8 years of age. At that age, I had no real awareness of things like swimming briefs, except to say that is where the preconditions to all of this gets fixed, and all the rest. This is all interesting, but scary.

I’m also still trying to determine how this all gets sorted out once guys form relationship bonds. A presume that gay guys have it easier carrying this stuff into a relationship than straight guys do. Sharing the stuff I just told you with another male as a sexual partner just seems a whole lot easier than trying to explain it all to a female partner, even if I were somehow willing to do that.

Then I get into really complicated questions about what a sexual relationship really involves. Are Dylan and Josh involved in some sort of gay relationship despite having never even touched each other, let alone exchanged bodily fluids in any way? What exactly does a sexual relationship with another person involve anyway?

To be continued…