Take one pair of Lycra Speedos that are already well worn and have no souvenir value to you. Start wearing them each time you go swimming, never rinse them out and let them stay rolled up in a damp towel for at least 24 hours before you hang them up to dry. If you swim every day them keep these Speedos rolled up in damp towels all the time between swims.
Almost before you can say "jock itch" you will have a delectable pair of Speedos with a saggy butt that hangs half way to your knees.
It is probably too late to remember that at college you won a race in these Speedos causing that nice blond girl to notice you, the one you later made your wife.
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