Slate Article: Why Are Guys Afraid to Wear Speedos?

[jackk78]

Summer is here, and again I am seething with frustration. Why? Every year I scan the beaches for men in Speedos and every year I am disappointed. The ridiculous board-shorts trend shows no sign of waning. I had high hopes for change after last year’s Olympics, when the entire nation was gripped by the spectacle of those jackknifing water sprites in their micro-briefs. (Those preposterously teensy swim skivvies worn by Tom Daley et al could only be explained by some kind of harsh polyester-rationing scheme: “Sorry, boys, but only 1 square inch of fabric per customer. Don’t worry. It is quite stretchy.”) I just assumed that, come this summer, one might see an increased willingness on the part of the U.S. male to embrace a little European savoir-faire. But, yet again, all I see are men in billowing shorts.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/doonan/2013/06/men_in_speedos_american_men_need_to_get_over_their _fear_of_wearing_swim.html

[California Dolphin]

I've repeatedly emphasized on this board that men here in San Francisco are wearing a lot shorter running shorts and the trend is continuing toward the pre 90s look.

I haven't been to a pool or the beach, but I'd guess that swimming suits will follow running suits and speedo style (or just plain 1960s "trunks") are making a come back as well.

[kumu]

I watch some of the ufc fights on TV not so much for the fights but for the bods and more and more of them are clad in shorter and shorter outfits. Last night featured a fighter in what looked like about a 4 " side suit. Truth is, I'd rather see the guys kiss and make out than fight. But the point is, styles worn by these uncontestably manly men are getting shorter, maybe the masses will take to the trend. Have you ever actually swum in board shorts? Its like wearing a tent. They have always made sense for surfing, protecting the inner thighs from irritation from the rails of the board, but for swimming? Basketball? No. Styles do change. Trends come and go.

[Byron]

I don't know much about the organisation in these fights but rules of attire seem to vary all over the place. There was a big fuss about a US competitor last year (the name might have been ......Sheffield) who turned up for a bout in blue speedos. That seemed to turn the promoter blue in the face too and he got himself much reported with his rage at this happening and that this guy wouldn't be employed again, etc. (never know what to believe as genuine in that game - everything being overhyped for the sake of a headline of course).

[jackk78]

A few responses from other websites:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/21/men-in-speedos-american-fear_n_3477653.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2345887/Barneys-style-guru-Simon-Doonan-American-men-need-embrace-sassy-Speedos.html

http://theweek.com/article/index/246003/why-barneys-style-guru-simon-doonan-wants-you-to-overcome-your-aversion-to-the-speedo

It is a bit ironic that Huffington Post and Daily Mail have a negative slant, yet accompany their articles with pictures of women in skimpy suits.

[Byron]

Seems to me hard to determine who has what slant where - a bunch of journalists with space to fill and nothing interesting to say as usual, employing the
old and very boring trick of just rereporting on each other.

[Byron]

http://www.fighters.com/wp-content/uploads/mma_e_hallman_b1_576.jpg

Wrong name - it was Dennis Hallman in Philadelphia August 2011.
Dana White most upset and speedos now banned in UFC.

[Lap Counter]

The vision of Chris Christie in a Speedo might inspire the NJ legislature to ban them for everyone. But there's a happy medium between racing briefs and ankle length male burkas. I've got a pair of swim shorts that are liner-free (like board shorts, so you can wear a Speedo under) with a 5" inseam that are practical for a poolside BBQ where hanging out (literally) in a Speedo would be a bit too much.

It was a lot more fun a few years ago when Speedos were considered to be bold but acceptable generic beach wear. Now you practically need to be wearing your Olympic medal to show up in one anywhere but a lap pool.

[Lap Counter]

To claim that Speedos are practical for activities like UFC is analogous to the NRA line-in-the-sand that kids should be able to bring their guns to middle school.

UFC fighters have to hide a lot of protection under their shorts, and a cup under a Speedo is just not a good look.

[Lap Counter]

Maybe 3 posts on the same topic is too many, but...

It's always fun to read the comments following the annual ritual-of-spring anti-Speedo articles. Most fall into the "women don't want to see... eew" theme. But occasionally one provokes thought:
"Considering that male genitalia are called "junk" in American colloquial parlance, is it really any wonder that American men are a bit modest about calling attention to that part of their anatomy?"

[Byron]

Yes - never could understand why important parts of the male anatomy should be unwanted rubbish to go in the trash can.
Plenty of examples of usage to be found but no indication of this particular derivation (it being also heroin and a chinese boat of course).
Middle English jonk had a particular nautical definition - it was old rope or cable being reused on a ship - but again something worn out and useless for original purpose and so inappropriate for its frequent use now in the anatomical sense.

[Torchwatch]

When I lived in High Wycombe I discovered a community of Indians whose men wore trousers (pants) with loincloth flaps over the front and back, providing greater modesty for the private parts. This attempt of modesty actually drew attention to what it was attempting to hide.
Those that swim in huge baggy shorts in an attempt to modestly hide their junk, actually draw attention to it through false modesty.
Go swimming in Speedos and after a few minutes you will forget what you are wearing as you concentrate on gliding smoothly through the water. Those watching may assess your figure and costume, then concentrate on your swimming style.

[SwimTeamSpeedo]

All these stories on "speedos" make me laugh. I have never understood why so many guys who wear Speedos or other brief swimwear are so hung up about whether other guys should or should not be wearing the same thing. I don't really care if I am the only guy on a beach in a brief swimsuit and if someone doesn't like my swimsuit of choice then don't look. I actually like that my swimwear is not common and I am breaking the norm of most guys. Likewise I could care less if some guys wear boardies to swim or whatever. Their choice. Frankly, I like how some guys look in boardies and I like some of the more colorful ones.

I also can't get over how some folks are all hung up on whether or not someone can see your bulge. If my bulge bothers someone, guess what...every guy has one. Get over it. And no, I do not call my anatomy junk. Never understood that.

It is a swimsuit. Wear it or not. To each their own.

[Byron]

Have to agree - this constant anxt seems to be part of a strange cultural taboo
and denying what nature creates on the skeleton of all males for procreation of the species. Females have two breasts and make no attempt, as far as I am aware, to flatten them out of existence (far from it when itsy-bitsy triangles of fabric are so favored).
We should have advanced in thinking by now but we are in regression - medieval man had a much freer time of it with an obvious codpiece in his costume.

As for Tw's Indian community in High Wycombe there are also many males in the Amazon jungle who keep things simple with just a string at the waistline and
no more.

[Torchwatch]

The Amazonian natives who wore just a string about their waists said on documentaries that it identified them as human, differentiating themselves from the animals.
In England until well into the reign of Elizabeth I a vagrant in a town could be flogged or executed. The vagrants unable to find work or food ended up starving and naked on the heaths. Anyone travelling between towns faced being robbed and perhaps murdered by the vagrants. Even in the 20th Century those arrested for indecent exposure were charged under the Vagrancy Act.
Today to be seen as a citizen and not a vagrant you need money (cash and credit cards), identification (driving/ers licence), keys (to home and transport) and of late a mobile phone. To carry this lot you need a wallet and pockets, even if you take all the stuff out of your pockets to swim in the sea, the pockets are still symbolic of the items removed, in the same way that a string around the waist is symbolic of access to stone age technology.
Put on your speedos, swim or walk out of sight of your pile of clothes and you become a vagrant with no visible means of support; no identity, money, transport or home. As a speedo lover you are happy with this, you don't need all the junk you left in your pockets to be able to be yourself. However many others do, next time you are in a bar look out for the guys who display their identity in a little pile in front of them on the table; the cigarettes, lighter, mobile phone and car keys. Without all this junk for all to see they would become nobodies, and the bigger, baggier and "pocketier" their board shorts become the more somebody they feel they are.

[Byron]

...all board short wearers suffer a massive inferiority complex ?

(interesting observation - have to agree about the goods on the table - the car keys should preferably have attached a fob of a prestigious marque of course).

Btw how did the canny Scots learn about the sporran ? - there is both a container for the valuables and a frontal protection of the valuable junk in one.

[SwimTeamSpeedo]

maybe they just wear board shorts because they like them. Hmmmm.

[Byron]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/british-irish-lions-pictured-beach-2007642

I thought I would post this to emphasise the male/female difference.
If the Lions were having their recreation time on the beach wouldn't it be nice if they were left alone to wear their own speedos (if they so wished) ?
But no - regulation black shorts rule and they all conform and all are of the Adidas brand of course so every appearance is no doubt strictly governed by sponsorship contracts. Is there any sport in the world where that company has not penetrated to create a near monopoly? ( I am beginning to wonder how soon it is before no swimwear will be allowed at all on even public beaches unless it is one of their products).

[Byron]

Sydney Roosters RFC seem to have the right idea:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uWfZcyLQ_6I/TehJVbdQFRI/AAAAAAAAANI/5pooOCAnBgg/s1600/Rugby+Sydney+Roosters.jpg

[singletlover]

I repeat: I cannot understand why we call it junk. I throw out junk that I do not want anymore.

My penis and testicals have been with me a long time and would never throw them out.

[Byron]

:eek: Certainly NOT junk - but as an aside , what happens to ejaculate after a vasectomy?

[shaulis]

The amount of ejaculate goes down slightly.

[Byron]

Thanks (I don't think I have ever seen it explained what happens in the vasa deferentia if it's been stimulated but then blocked).

Off topic but amusing little mistake by female tv reporter recently:
Her piece to camera was on medical advances in breast cancer treatment and
she declared that in future many women may not need to have a vasectomy.

[Torchwatch]

The term junk is slang from an era where everything desirable or of value was put down. Drug dealers were probably responsible for this abuse of the language in their desire to confuse and confound the authorities.

[kumu]

On the topic of the word "junk", people often use the names of body parts we truly treasure and adore as insults. Names like "You toenail!", or "You spleen!" are never used. At least that I've ever heard. Its "You dick!", or "You asshole!". Yet we treasure these body parts. You could get by without toenails easily enough, getting by without a spleen would be difficult but still theoretically possible, but getting by without a penis or an anus might make life not worth living if not downright impossible. Its so strange that names for such areas that we treasure so much are used to demean and insult. The same applies to female regions but we don't need to go into that here. WHY, is the question, WHY debase our most beloved body parts.

I think it was George Carlin who observed that when somebody says "f*** you!!", or "get f****ed!!" its actually kinda nice. I mean, we do enjoy it, don't we. In telling somebody to do that you are actually telling them to go experience ecstasy. That ain't bad. So why is it about the most hostile insult? It might have been from Carlin's bit about 7 words you can't say on the air. Its funny but there's a lot of truth in it.

[Byron]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/editorialguidelines/page/guidance-language-full/

Trust the BBC to write a book on it and if you don't fall asleep you will discover that "strong language" must be carefully assessed.
Fuck was first heard on tv in November 1965 - enormous fuss about it - even questions asked in Parliament.
The funny part was that the leading campaigner said that Kenneth Tynan should have his bottom smacked (little knowing his penchant for flagellation)