Wife bought me...

[need4speedo]

...a pair of J.Crew swim shorts. Ugh. While they're short and expose plenty of thigh, her intentions are clear that she wants me to give up the speedos. She has never truly embraced my preference for wearing them, but has tolerated them up to a point. We'll be going to Aruba in September and I'm not sure if she was expecting me to wear these short shorts while we are there. It's Aruba, I'm not giving up my speedo freedom while I am there. If there's any place to wear them, it's there!

[SpeedySpeedo]

Maybe buy your wife a pair of board shorts and see how she likes wearing them

[tightjeans]

Maybe buy your wife a pair of board shorts and see how she likes wearing them
Good reply.

[Bede735]

Don't ever let your wife buy your swimming gear.

[Minimalist75]

Don't ever let your wife buy your swimming gear.
My wife has never bought me swimwear. She is fine with me wearing a speedo except around certain conservative family and friends.
However, when I was transitioning to full time commando, she noticed my underwear supply was getting worn and small and I wasn't wearing it regularly so she bought me some more and opened the package and put it in the drawer so I couldn't even return it. I then belatedly told her that I was in the process of giving up underwear.

[PSDave]

This may be a radical idea: ASK HER. See if she is totally against you in speedos or is it just around friends. Tell her you want your speedos in Aruba - since you know no one there.
Asking us is not the best place to learn her feelings on the issue. If you wearing a speedo is more important than her feelings, perhaps you need to review your priorities.

[Malcontent]

This may be a radical idea: ASK HER. See if she is totally against you in speedos or is it just around friends. Tell her you want your speedos in Aruba - since you know no one there.
Asking us is not the best place to learn her feelings on the issue. If you wearing a speedo is more important than her feelings, perhaps you need to review your priorities.

Feelings is a two way street. This appears to be a symptom of control issues that is emerging. I am pretty sure the harridan would be offended if he suggested that she be more modest swimwear wise. Typical female hypocrisy and entitlement.

[snarkherder]

...a pair of J.Crew swim shorts. Ugh. While they're short and expose plenty of thigh, her intentions are clear that she wants me to give up the speedos. She has never truly embraced my preference for wearing them, but has tolerated them up to a point. We'll be going to Aruba in September and I'm not sure if she was expecting me to wear these short shorts while we are there. It's Aruba, I'm not giving up my speedo freedom while I am there. If there's any place to wear them, it's there!

None of us knows the details of your situation but you may be reading too much into this. Maybe this is a suit she is comfortable with you wearing around her conservative family and friends. Why would she buy you a suit in July that she wants you to wear in September? I’d be open and just tell her you noticed that she got you a new pair of trunks and allow her to speak her mind.

[Bede735]

Ask her if it's all right to wear slightly more clothing in public than she does.

[California Dolphin]

A better question would be to ask "Why are women allowed to wear clothing that has less coverage than men?" :mad:

[Speedo_Dad]

My ex-wife would occasionally do this as well. If a vacation was approaching she'd buy me a set of shorts "in case I wanted to wear them", or sometimes when we were shopping together she'd point out shorts she thought I'd look good in. She did this despite the fact I always wore Speedos, and knew I enjoyed wearing them. She never suggested or bought new trunks I'd actually have considered wearing.

She didn't like me wearing Speedos and her argument was always that they were "embarrassing" or "too revealing" despite the fact she always wore 2 piece bikinis on vacation. The level of double standards! One of her lines that made me laugh the most was that "other women can check out your package" - yes, and other men can check out your cleavage? What's your point? I once told her that if she expected me to cover up in shorts then I expected her to wear a t-shirt or full body sarong. Of course, she never.

I will say though that these exchanges were non-existent in the 80's and 90's when we were together and Speedos were a little more popular, and both of us had been on our respective swim teams at college so she was more than used to seeing me in Speedos and was okay with it. It was only really post-2000 when fashions changed, and our relationship deteriorated that she started using Speedos as an issue to pick at.

[Mollyk]

She is probably just like all of us. She just might like some attention too! If we are at pool party, resort or beach with you guys we have spent a lot of time and maybe some $$ to look our best. We did our makeup, our nails and toes, we found a pretty bathing suit, a coverup, maybe a hat and our favorite heels. We maybe wearing sunglasses and we have done our hair just right. We probably did this also for you.
So let us get a little attention first.
Then you undo the board shorts, take off your top and reveal your speedo.

That's all we ask.

[beachg0y]

Molly, thank you for the reply. More than a wee bit of wisdom in there. You've given some food for thought. :)

[Bede735]

Women wear bikinis to pose in them, while men wear Speedos for swimming. Therefore, a man must spend no more than a few seconds in them before entering the water, where the said garment then becomes acceptable.

[Malcontent]

She is probably just like all of us. She just might like some attention too! If we are at pool party, resort or beach with you guys we have spent a lot of time and maybe some $$ to look our best. We did our makeup, our nails and toes, we found a pretty bathing suit, a coverup, maybe a hat and our favorite heels. We maybe wearing sunglasses and we have done our hair just right. We probably did this also for you.
So let us get a little attention first.
Then you undo the board shorts, take off your top and reveal your speedo.

That's all we ask.

Yes...woman gets a bit miffed that their men upstaged them in the getting all the attention departments.

[Torchwatch]

Molly, if I woke up one morning and discovered I was married to you, then I received an invitation to a pool party I would go on my own as I be too embarrassed to be there with you.

[sebbie]

I think a lot of this relates to differences in how (straight) men and women are wired when it relates to admiration of your partner by others. For a lot of guys, finding a female partner (spouse) who is attractive enough so that other men like what they see (and then possibly admire you as a guy who was fortunate to find a wife that attracive) is part of the fun of being a guy..this is the "trophy wife thing". And if the wife has a good enough body so that other guys oggle when they see her in a revealing swimsuit, that is a plus not a minus so long as it doesn't lead elsewhere. Few guys would opt for something different (as in a wife other guys think is not particularly attractive) given a choice.

But, female spouses are wired completely differently in this regard, at least most of them. The guy she is married to from her perspective is hers alone, other women stay away. MOST married females would quickly become very upset if they thought there were other women present who were oggling their own guy's body.

So the husband shows up wearing a swim brief at a pool party. From the perspective of the wife, this can only end badly. Either the women at the party think the guy has an attractive body, in which case his body is no longer hers alone but on display for all the women present to oggle and perhaps get turned on by (from her perspective this can only end badly). Alternately, the guy looks not-so-good in a swim brief in which case her husband will become something of a quiet "joke" by the women at the party (Why in the world did he wear THAT when he is so obviously unfit? Didn't his wife say SOMETHING to him about his choice of attire? What is going on in their married life anyway? Tho married is he ATTEMPTING to attract other females right in full view of his wife?).

So. most straight married guys for a host of reasons would not dare wear a brief at a pool party when his wife's female friends are there, and wives buy husbands less revealing suits for pool party wear.

[snarkherder]

That sounds about right. My wife is the same, except I got pretty lucky. While she will let her displeasure be known if I try to wear something she considers too revealing, too revealing to her means either a thong or a suit so light colored that she can see exactly how I’m equipped.

She never tries to stop me though. Just drops enough hints so I know I should change into something else.

[Bede735]

I'm pleased I don't go to pool parties. I just wear my Speedos to swim in and that's never been a problem.

[Malcontent]

My ex-wife would occasionally do this as well. .

Sometimes I wonder how stupid women are, if I were married to you I would NEVER EVER end up as your ex!:o

[Alfred007]

A better question would be to ask "Why are women allowed to wear clothing that has less coverage than men?" :mad:

Agreed my wife weara bikini but actually trashed my speedos as they are "gay"

[nespeedoguy]

Wear them when you can if you enjoy them I hear you gf same view here! Peace